To realise I can leave so can now try to stay

[Ilkleymoor]

Just realised that actually I could get a mortgage by myself for me and my child. And it would be ok.

My relationship has been really struggling but this sudden realisation that actually I can afford to go has meant I can breathe.

Going to try to make it work (nothing dramatic, difficult couple of years, mental health, grown apart) but if not then I can go.

Just needed to tell someone! Amazing the difference to realise I can be here by choice rather than being stuck. Feel very different about trying to make it work and putting resentment to one side.

Sounds good, OP

Did you meant to post in AIBU instead of chat? Just the way you worded your title.

Yup, it's the big breakthrough when you realise it's an active choice. Am finding the same as I approach retirement/pension - if I had to stop work now actually it would be fine.

Congratulations!

It's entirely different when you realise it's a choice you're making! Good luck & congratulations for getting yourself into that position (even if you didn't have that goal in mind)

Brilliant. It must be awful feeling stuck.

That's so great to hear :) a huge concern about leaving is when there are DC involved and you want them to feel as settled throughout the process as possible