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Original poster

I found myself in a vulnerable situation and several men were aggressive and abusive.

38 replies

Wherecanitbe · 21/09/2021 11:28

Yesterday morning, on my journey to work, I broke down. (The clutch failed and therefore I could not select any gear.)

I managed to limp my car along to the side of the road. I had my hazard lights on. I telephoned recovery who advised me to remain inside the car with the doors locked.

I had one man on a bicycle who spat at my car and swore at me. Another man jogging past who shook his head and called me a "stupid bitch." Two separate bus drivers stopped opened the bus doors to tell me what a " fucking stupid place to park. " The other bus driver dramatically shook his head and told me to move.

I am so angry that these "men" thought it was acceptable to be aggressive and abusive towards me. Not one person (male or female) asked if I was ok.

Why are people so quick to be aggressive/abusive in the first instance, without thinking about the bigger picture.

I had my car recovered and I got to work, but I spent the day feeling both upset and angry at the aggression shown to me when I found myself in a vulnerable situation.

OP posts:

GunsNMoses · 21/09/2021 11:34

I think I'd have opened the bonnet to reinforce the point I'd broken down, not that you should have to, but some people feel bulletproof in their little tin boxes and behave like idiots.

WeAreTheHeroes · 21/09/2021 11:38

I hope you've reported the bus drivers. Sadly I think these people would have behaved the same way towards anyone - too many people do actually park where they shouldn't with their hazard lights on as though that makes up for poor parking. They didn't consider you may have broken down and couldn't move the car.

I've had a clutch go on me and just had to park up as best I could.

hollyhocksarenotmessy · 21/09/2021 11:43

It's normal to pop the bonnet up to show you've broken down.unusual to sit in a broken down car. People shouldn't have been aggressive but I guess you were causing an obstruction and people couldn't tell it was because you'd broken down.

It's often unsafe to sit in a broken down vehicle, especially in a spot where you are obstructing traffic. I'm really surprised you were advised to do this.

LaBellina · 21/09/2021 11:46

I bet they wouldn’t have done this to a big bulky guy.

Assholes. I really feel for you OP.
I actually hope karma gets these men and they get involved in the same type of car issue soon and hopefully will get much worse abuse from the same type of person that they are. Please report the bus drivers also. They should get reprimanded for their misogynistic unprofessional behavior. I’m really fuming on your behalf because I know how horrible men can behave towards women from their tin man caves.

NotMyCat · 21/09/2021 11:47

Same happened to me. I had the bonnet up and was stood by the side of the road wearing ambulance uniform
Sworn at, head shaking, raising hands, the lot. I ended up getting back in my car and scrolling my phone as I felt so vulnerable
Wasn't even blocking a road, I was half up on a kerb on a shopping centre car park

EvilPea · 21/09/2021 11:49

I’ve broken down and always laugh at people who beep

“Ahh yes that will fix my car, thanks”

Cocks.

Try not to let it get to you, years ago people would have pushed you to a better spot (which also would help speed up everyone’s journey as your no longer an obstruction) and made sure you were sorted. But not now. People are just impatient and short sighted.

I recently pushed an old mans car for him when he was in the way, people roaring past not helping. Everyone is just in a rush now

GoddamReylos · 21/09/2021 11:56

Sorry that this had happened to you. A car on the side of the road with the hazards on should indicate you’ve broken down. It’s not always safe to get out to pop the bonnet or whatever else. I got called a stupid c*nt by a bus driver whilst standing next to my broken down car that was very clearly missing a wheel…luckily a local tree surgeon stopped off and stood with me until the tow truck turned up. People are horrible and stupid

ChateauMargaux · 21/09/2021 12:09

I am so sorry you experienced this aggression. I have also observed increased levels of aggressive behaviour. Some how, it becomes acceptable to be like this on social media and people allow it to transfer into real life. We do not see as many acts of kindness, humanity, love so we don't know how to behave to others.

It is a small reminder to everyone, to always stop and ask... it means a lot.

MultiStorey · 21/09/2021 12:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Greyrootszerohoots · 21/09/2021 12:12

So sorry you experienced this. I had a similar situation a few weeks ago with a bus driver. Also had an old man shouting in my face for holding up traffic as I put my baby in the car in the pissing down rain (car seat on roadside where I have to park outside nursery on a narrow street).

I have noticed a huge increase in aggression from mostly 50+ men since the start of covid. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m now out with a baby and mums are an easy target, or because of what the pandemic has done to them.

Sorry you experienced this OP, always remember it says more about them than you!

Horsemad · 21/09/2021 12:14

Tossers, the lot of them. 😡

GammyLeg · 21/09/2021 12:15

This is awful, I’m so sorry. I would feel quite shaken after this. Hope you are okay 💐

YetAnotherSpartacus · 21/09/2021 12:20

I'm so sorry OP. That is awful. I can remember a handful of times where either my bus has missed a stop or the doors haven't opened and I've called out to the driver and received abuse. Once he got out of the bus and screamed after me "you've missed my stop" in a mocking voice ... and I thought "yeah, you'd not do that to me if I was male".

IHaveNoOneToTalkTo · 21/09/2021 12:28

Sorry that you experienced this, what a bunch off tossers.

Please don't worry about not putting your bonnet up, if people don't realise that you have broken down when your car is parked in an awkward place with your hazard lights on then that is their problem. They'd have to be pretty thick not to realise what was going on.

KatherineJaneway · 21/09/2021 12:41

Sorry this happened to you

So many people use their hazard lights to park inconsiderately, they likely thought you were doing that rather than broken down.

LaBellina · 21/09/2021 12:43

@MultiStorey

I normally loathe “Social Experiments”, but would love to do a test comparing the responses to a female compared to a male driver.

I think we all know what the outcome would be 🤬

LaBellina · 21/09/2021 12:46

So many people use their hazard lights to park inconsiderately, they likely thought you were doing that rather than broken down.

A couple of misogynistic arses saw their chance to be abusive towards a woman alone in a difficult position. Probably nothing to do with people using it as an excuse for parking.

Flapjak · 21/09/2021 12:51

Misogynistic men saw a free pass to be abusive to a female, and no doubt feel they were in the right. I have sons and a partner but i do feel the world would be a better place uf we could reduce the male popluation significantly and make this type of male on female abuse a crime

GivenUpEntirely · 21/09/2021 12:54

I've experienced similar when my automatic gearbox failed in the middle of a roundabout, thankfully in the same incidence a trio of men purposefully blocked the road behind me after seeing the abuse I was getting with their cars so we could safely 'bump' the car out of the way of traffic. Not one of them was shouted at!

It's a stressful situation made much worse by abusive arseholes...they know it and still do it.

peoplearepeople · 21/09/2021 12:55

So sorry you experienced this op. It's sad that people nowadays just seem so caught up in their own worlds that they only see the very slight inconvenience to them and didn't think to stop and check you were ok.
Hope your car isn't too expensive to fix. I had the same thing happen a few years ago and it was painful.

LaBellina · 21/09/2021 12:58

Yes @Flapjak completely agree with you, making male to female harassment and violence a hate crime would probably significantly reduce the amount of incidents as most of these men are losers who only do it because they know their target is weaker, less likely to stand up against them and law enforcement lets them get away with it.

Muttly · 21/09/2021 12:59

A guys car broke down in front of mine as he was about to pull onto a roundabout last Friday. I got out of mine ad helped him push it onto the cycle path/pavement. Is that not what people do when people break down anymore? I must have lost my memo . The poor driver seemed so much more grateful too than your awful experience OP. Totally outrageous behaviour from the other drivers.

EcoCustard · 21/09/2021 13:09

That’s rubbish op. It’s one of those situations I cannot understand how people think shouting abuse and tooting is going to help. Years ago my engine went in the delivery van for Royal Mail on a busy roundabout at 8.30 in the morning. The abuse I got as I completely blocked one Lane and couldn’t move anywhere. I remember after 15 minutes of being shouted at I shouted back at one van who went round came back, apologetic and helped me bump it across to the verge whilst I waited for recovery. Stopped ever since when I see someone broken down. Shite behaviour from other’s but seems to be a lot of anger about at the moment doesn’t make it acceptable though.

Original poster

Wherecanitbe · 21/09/2021 13:28

Thank you for all of your Kind messages. I am ok today, but still feel so angry at the aggression. I agree with the previous comment about if I had been a big burly man , I very much doubt I would have received quite so much abuse.

My car is currently being fixed but it is going to be a bit pricey, but it is what it is.

OP posts:

LaBellina · 21/09/2021 13:35

Glad to hear you’re ok OP. Don’t take it personal, if just shows how they see all of us women, sadly. Fingers crossed that the bill won’t be very high.

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