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Original poster

DD and periods

66 replies

tiddlysquat · 20/09/2021 20:16

13 year old DD frequently has to miss a day of school a month for her period. Not every month but more often than not.

She gets bad pain but we're just about on top of that with alternate dosing ibuprofen and paracetamol, although at home she also uses a heat pad to make it bearable so often struggles at school.

The other issue is that she just feels'ill' and out of it.

I've had BC so I don't want her on the pill.

I've tried other medications myself over the years and the only thing that helped at all was transexamic acid , which she is too young for .

I'm going to start giving her spatone and more vits.

Anyone got any recommendations for what else would help , as she gets older she can't keep missing school? I'm not really interested in making her power on through as I have suffered for 40 years and don't think it's particularly on that women have to just cope with it and carry on.

OP posts:
TweetyPieBird · 20/09/2021 21:34

I thought you were going to say she only started recently… it’s not normal to be in so much pain that you have to miss school/work, especially as she started 4 years ago! She needs blood tests and an ultrasound. Is her weight (not too low or high body fat) and diet okay? Are her periods regular?

Spikeyplants · 20/09/2021 21:42

Just because YOU don't 'think' you have endo, doesn't mean your daughter doesn't! Please get her checked, as there could be another medical cause. Just letting her have a day off each month, is negligent and avoiding finding an actual cause and potential cure/solution!

What are your concerns with her being on the pill if it helps her pain?

beenthere225 · 20/09/2021 21:43

I have been the same since I was her age including regular bouts of fainting. Have you looked into a 'Livia'. It's kind of like a mini tens machine. It really helped me take the edge off the pain and not have to dose up so much on tablets. I wear it to work etc and it enables me to be able to get through the dat. I came off the pill 7 years ago and prefer not to take too many painkillers but have also been on tram acid.

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momiamarichman · 20/09/2021 22:10

@buttercup1001

I suffer bad with my periods makes me unwell neasous headache bad pains can hardly stand up I feel for her.
Me too, mine started at 14. GP has never been interested. BC options didn't help so just manage now with painkillers, tiger balm and crying.
Original poster
tiddlysquat · 20/09/2021 22:12

Wow loads of replies thanks! We were just chatting about it all.

BC is breast cancer sorry hence my concern re the pill.

I will speak to the GP re tran acid and about any further investigations but I don't think endo shows up on an ultrasound - she isn't up for an internal but I agree it's something to think about in the future when she's ready.

I don't think keeping her off a day a month is negligent . We did go to the GP when she started periods as they were so bad and were told they would settle down, which they did for awhile . She's probably off one month in three for a day, since we've managed to get the painkillers overlapping system sorted - jn y7 she wouldn't carry them herself and would go to the office and get one paracetamol.... so she just ended up too scared to go in - since she's agreed to carry painkillers in her bag she is able to be at school some periods . The other problem is school won't send her home with period pain if she asks so she'd rather not risk it some months . I've said she can text me and I'll speak to them but she won't because she's not supposed to text !

OP posts:
Original poster
tiddlysquat · 20/09/2021 22:13

@WhatsitWiggle we have a plug in heat pad that is a game changer at home and helps her get to sleep during it too, really recommend

OP posts:
MrsSchadenfreude · 20/09/2021 22:15

DD1 found that tranexamic acid helped reduce the flow but did nothing for the pain.

Original poster
tiddlysquat · 20/09/2021 22:19

@TweetyPieBird she eats healthily and is sporty. She's a healthy weight .

Definitely possible she could be anaemic I do give her spatone but need to make sure it's daily . Will also ask re blood test for that , we're going in for an asthma appt as her asthma has really got worse recently so will ask them then about a blood test as it's possible the breathlessness could be anaemia - although it comes on with sport particularly? Thanks really good thought

OP posts:
Antsinyourpanta · 20/09/2021 22:20

My DD is 15 and requested to go on the pill to regulate her periods last year. The GP was very loathe to prescribe it to her at that age and prescribed tranexamic acid instead but I actually think DDs periods may have settled down a bit and got into a more regular cycle now as well, although if your DD has been menstruating for 4 years that probably isnt the issue.

Original poster
tiddlysquat · 20/09/2021 22:24

Looks like anaemia could cause breathlessness during sport - will discuss this with the asthma nurse as it's been odd as she's still getting it a bit despite significantly increased medication

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OnTheBenchOfDoom · 20/09/2021 22:25

She definitely needs something. It is not acceptable to be in so much pain and out of it, she needs to talk to a doctor.

I have endo but took years and years to get diagnosed. I think my GP put me on the pill at 15 much to my Catholic Mother's horror. It massively helped with the symptoms and combined with pain meds made it manageable.

Why are you so against her being on the pill at 13 if it helps her? I understand looking at other options but your attitude to the pill may also prevent her from asking for it.

I use a plug in heat pad but then I am not having to go out, I also use a TENs machine. I know you said she is reluctant to try stuff but maybe talk to her whilst she is in the middle of the painful period so she realises what she is going through and medication can possibly help her not feel this way.

buttercup1001 · 20/09/2021 22:26

momiamarichman yes it's not nice at all Dr also told me couldn't do alot. so I just stick to painKillers and try to rest up.

MinaPop · 20/09/2021 22:28

I suffered with very painful periods right through puberty and until my mid twenties. I was then diagnosed with pcos, did my own research, and started supplementing with inositol. The aim was to regulate my periods, which it did, but it also made the pain way less - paracetamol is enough to manage it now. A lovely unexpected perk!
I'm not saying your dd has pcos obviously, just that painful periods can be caused by something which can be easily managed. It's definitely worth investigating.

Original poster
tiddlysquat · 20/09/2021 22:29

I was on the pill for 20 years I'm not against it completely if it ends up being the only option, but I went on it at 19 - and she has the hereditary breast cancer risk because I got cancer young. I'd rather she was older and able to discuss the risks, 13 is too young to be able to weigh up the risks over cancer. If she didn't have the risk factor, I'd definitely suggest she considers it

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Original poster
tiddlysquat · 20/09/2021 22:31

I think we need to start an ongoing conversation with the GP until we get it under control , she's old enough now to be happy discussing it - a year ago I'd never have got her along!

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Original poster
tiddlysquat · 20/09/2021 22:33

@Notaroadrunner I don't know anything about the mini pill but that sounds an option. Writing all this into notes to ask the Gp!

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aNewYorkerInLondon · 20/09/2021 22:39

There are a lot of things that I love about the healthcare system in the UK, but one thing that definitely need improvement is non-OB gynecological care. In the US, we go to an actual gynecologist ever year starting when we begin to menstruate (or even before, if things are running late in that category). We typically see they same gynecologist every time we go in (unless they're out on extended leave or something) and I have formed very trusting relationships with mine. Every year, they do an external and internal exam and your Pap smear, as well as a breast exam. (My gynecologist when I was a teenager taught me how to do a breast self exam too.) And finally they have a conversation with you about how you're cycle is, how you're feeling physically and emotionally, and about sexual health and choices. It really is a good system.

I think that since your daughter has been having these troubles for years, it is worth a visit to a gynecologist to really see what's going on. I've seen sites like topdoctors.co.uk where it lists care providers by specialty. You can probably find one who specializes in menstruation issues or irregular cycles, etc.

It's never too early to teach your daughter to be her own medical advocate. It's a lesson I thank my own mother for constantly.

Shouldhavedoneitsooner · 20/09/2021 22:58

I would also recommend buscopan to take away the cramping. I always have bowel pain and this has really helped me.

Bobsyer · 20/09/2021 22:58

Oh the poor thing. I was the same at her age but my mum never had problems with her period so she didn't really believe me. I just had to struggle through at school. I'm glad you're taking it seriously.

I do think you need to take her to the docs again - investigations for endo might not come to anything but she and you will be glad you started it early if they do.

I was about 15 or 16 when mine started to be less painful. Although saying that I'm closing in on 40 and sometimes I'll still have a really bad one - thanks body!

waltzingparrot · 20/09/2021 23:33

My GP gave me Ponstan tablets at that age, which really did help with period pain.

iwillalwaysloveyou · 20/09/2021 23:44

Why don’t you let the GP discuss the risks of the pill/ mini pill/ mirena/ implant with her, rather than deciding you don’t want to her have it so that’s that?

Innocenta · 21/09/2021 08:55

Bad endo can show up on an ultrasound, but usually the stance is that the gold standard for diagnosis is a laparoscopy.

I don't know if this is something you'd be at all interested in - and indeed you may already have done it, or decided against it - but you could consider discussing a genetic counsellor referral with the GP, in a separate appointment. It may be that such a referral could help DD to know more, as she gets older, about her risk of BC and other related cancers, which could perhaps be empowering for her in adulthood. However, I'm aware many people prefer not to do this and I don't mean to pressure you in any way.

I'm so glad your DD has such a great mum in her corner!

coffeeisthebest · 21/09/2021 09:29

This might be completely irrelevant but my sister in law had similar levels of pain and needed to miss work about a day a month for years. She discovered she was dairy intolerant and cut it out and it changed her periods completely. Ignore if that isn't your bag though.

Original poster
tiddlysquat · 21/09/2021 10:11

@Innocenta that's a really good idea. There isn't a known genetic link, so that might be quite reassuring.

@coffeeisthebest she doesn't eat dairy but I am going to see if changing her diet slightly in the run up to her period helps at all, good thought .

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CrotchetyQuaver · 21/09/2021 10:29

I'm old now, but back in the day, I found alka-seltzer a game changer for when I felt shit whilst on my period.