Wife work kinda

[gollyblah]

Does anyone else feel it's the woman of the house that gets judged if the housework is not kept on top of?

I always feel that I have to justify my time or excuse the mess if someone calls round.

Maybe it's just me though!

We both work full time yet I do the majority of tidying/cleaning/organising yet if I take my eye off the hall it all falls into a shambles and then I feel like I have to justify to people (mostly the in laws) that the house isn't 100% because you know I work, I have children etc

I know I will be told I have a husband problem and I agree to a certain extent however he works very long hours but when home he does contribute day time day stuff.

I think there's a pressure/expectation that women should have a clean house that isn't there for men. I live alone and find myself apologising for the mess if someone unexpectedly turns up. I work nights and am naturally a slob messy and definitely have to make a concerted effort to keep on top of things.

Men I know who live alone never apologise for any mess. Generally they keep on top of the basics but the 'expected' standard is definitely lower as to what is 'acceptable'.

I can't imagine what it's like when a couple live together with kids, the societal pressure must be even worse!

I do feel the female is the homemaker, I definitely do more of the housework and I’m not ashamed of that. I take more pride in the cleanliness and I like to keep on top of dishes etc. If I leave it my OH will do it but I guess I like to get things done and dusted rather than let them pile up or wait for someone to do them. If I have the time then why not.

Exactly with the comment that men never apologise for mess!
They just wouldn't think about it.

I definitely feel like it's expected that I work, clean, cook , raise children and make out like it's with ease.

It's frustrating but then I do it so why don't I stop, it's because I like a clean and tidy home I guess

Absolutely! Though I notice that dh gets held to account for the state of the garden and any exterior house maintenance.

Does your DH work the sort of ‘long hours’ that results in a massive salary? If so, you should be outsourcing loads of this work. Don’t pick up the extra just because your full time hours are less than his.

Yes. Women are raised to expect this of themselves. The Feminine Mystique is a good read...

My ILs tried to blame me. They got redirected to their son. Who is 100% on board.

He does earn good money which allows me to do a job I love instead of a job that I could earn more in.

I have thought about getting a cleaner but it's more the daily stuff that needs done than a once a week clean.

I feel that I probably judge myself far more than anyone else does.

I feel like I have to be managing everything well instead of lowering standards and maybe fitting in some down time