Has anybody on here got a terrible sense of direction? And does it embarrass you?

[Wisteriabloom]

Just wondering if I'm the only one, or if there are others too! Here are some examples -

If I get up from where we're sitting, in an airport, large restaurant etc to go to the loo/my turn to get the drinks etc, I have trouble finding my way back unless I literally make notes of landmarks - (ie, turn right by statue, past huge mirror, turn left by the bar etc). I now know to do this and it REALLY helps, after embarrassing experiences of panicking and being completely lost on the way back and whoever I'm with coming to look for me, incredulous that I couldn't remember the way!😳

Also, I'm not a driver and recently had some friends staying. We were going to a restaurant one evening, (it's one that dh & I have been to fairly often). But have walked or bussed there, as both non drivers.

This time our friends were driving and I was in the car trying to direct, (dh was meeting us there as had been somewhere else). There was a diversion in place and I just couldn't think of any other route to direct them, other than my 'normal route' that we now couldn't use! We got there eventually (a bit late!🤔) and I could tell my friends were a bit confused I was struggling to direct, as I'm a Local, and have lived here years!

I do have Dyspraxia btw, however i manage to hold down a responsible job, am talented in music & languages, and a great cook, but my navigation skills are embarrassingly close to zero!

Even at school I can remember it taking months before I confidently knew my way around (new secondary school) whereas my classmates, even the less academic ones had cracked it in the first week!

I can also struggle to recognise places if I'm travelling to them from another angle, ie, I can get from A to B easily, but to get from A to C I'd have to go via B, even though it takes twice as long!😳

As I've got older I've developed coping strategies, ie, noting landmarks and practising routes if I know I'll be expected to direct but it can be debilitating! Dh just can't understand it, I reckon he was born with an inbuilt SatNav! He deliberately walks behind me for amusement if we're staying in a hotel, as he knows it will easily be a couple of days before I can get from our room to Reception without making a wrong turn, so frustrating!! Just wondered if anybody else has this issue!

I have a good sense of direction and when I needed to years ago I could read a map. But I cannot give directions at all. I panic when a car stops near me or someone up from their phone and says, "excuse me, can you help..." No! I will get you lost!

@Badabingbadabum

I have a good sense of direction and when I needed to years ago I could read a map. But I cannot give directions at all. I panic when a car stops near me or someone up from their phone and says, "excuse me, can you help..." No! I will get you lost!

This! I say I don't know and they say 'oh aren't you from round here' and I have to say no

Or if a client phones the office for directions, I have to transfer them to my colleague

For years, I went off at a junction on an A road, met the roundabout and took the second (straight on) turnoff to an A road. Except it was, of course, the same A road I'd just left.

Took me years to realise I was actually back on the same road!

Yes, I'm autistic though and think it's related to that. I'm dyslexic too, possibly a mix of things. I use Google maps a lot to help me. I'm struggling to learn to drive after well over 100hrs of lessons, I've basically got it down now but have still failed 2 tests due to awful anxiety making me mess up, but one of the difficulties for me is that I can't really learn the rules just of the test routes like other people do, as it takes so long for me to learn familiar routes that a lot of the test routes are still like brand new roads to me even after doing them tons of times. Which is fine now really as I can drive them safely now I'm a more able and confident driver and has some advantages in that when I finally pass my test and get on the roads I will treat unfamiliar roads elsewhere safely in the same manner as my driving mostly always feels like unfamiliar roads! But does make it more difficult to pass a test in a shorter time period as I can't just quickly learn a small bunch of routes and feel confident with them the way that other people I know did.

I am okay with finding my car in a busy car park but I have absolutely no sense of direction. Even trips I've done multiple times. I had to have hospital treatment and it was a 130 mile round trip. DH took me quite a few times before I did it by myself. Still no clue where I was going or how to get home again. I got lost more times than I care to mention

My best/worst has to be the day I was distracted by DS and ended up travelling over the 1.5 mile toll bridge (no way off the road once you were on it!) then another few miles at the other end to turn round then back the 1.5 miles. And it cost me tolls both ways!! Thankfully DS was too young to tell anyone we'd been over the bridge!

I have just been up that way to the COVID testing place and I was panicking driving up in case I went the wrong way. Which inevitably I did but at least I didn't go over the bridge!

It's a standing joke every single time I go to a shopping park about 5 miles away I get lost coming home. Luckily there are two routes home so I usually just pretend I meant to go that way! I've been countless times as well

LukeEvansWife yes! Or new to the area. Its not because I don't want to talk to strangers either, I can't direct people I know and dh doesn't let me give directions at all when he's driving because I always get them so wrong. I get left and right confused, I can't count the number of side roads before we need to turn, I can't say which way to turn at a junction. Its very odd.

I can get lost on a straight line! Not embarrassed as I can’t help it. Did once feel embarrassed though when my daughter aged 5, guided me around our hotel at Euro-Disney. I always turned the wrong way when I came out of the lift and I used to just follow her!

Oh just remembered.

In the city I work in there are two train stations. I have been using station 1 since I was a teen and it's right near centre of town.

Had to go to an appointment a few towns away. Only train back at a reasonable time was to station 2, then I would have to walk the 10-15 mins into town to work.

I had also previously lived close to station 2.

Got off train - no fucking idea which way to go. Wandered around, kept going wrong way. Two hours it took me

Oh yes. Even coming out of my local shops I have to pause and work out whether I am going left or right.

Wherever I go if I get out a tube station , even with a map, I go the wrong way which is why I am always early to start with! And of course if there are several entrances/exits I never know what one to use.

@BertieBotts

I have ADHD as well.

There was a street near where I used to live that was curved and joined two other streets that were at a right angle to each other. I could never get my head around how I could go down that Street and be in a different direction.

@BertieBotts this idea - a curve which is met by two lines which are at right angles to each other - is like a metaphor for how I fail to understand or grasp or 'learn' so many things in my life.

It's genuinely destabilising not being able to rationalise and then crucially, recall this stuff when you can see that everyone else can. I have to do the working-it-out in the moment, over and over again. I've found it hugely shameful and it's had such an impact on me because I've always been told how very intelligent I am, so I this has felt like a series of unaccountable failures. I am very good at analysis and strategy but I'm always doing it 'live' as it were.

It happens a lot with strategic thinking of certain kinds - I can't harness what I've been told and pull it together and come back to it at will. I remember a vile boss of mine once saying "I don't really understand - you're clearly very intelligent and yet it somehow doesn't ... " and trailing off.

I have a dreadful sense of direction and have to look down at me hands to see the L shape of my thumb and forefinger to know that it's my left hand. I am hopeless at reading maps and like Joey from Friends, I have to step into a map to read it. Teaching shape was a nightmare in KS2 when I had to teach and demonstrate diagonal lines of symmetry etc
My sister has an excellent sense of direction which my niece has inherited. Just as well because we went to Butlins one year and I couldn't for the life of me find my way around the site. I'd gone with my niece(who was 8 at the time) to the fairground and she had to show me the way back to our apartment.

It's so debilitating, isn't it! 🤔

MyCat - I know the feeling! I've lost count of the times on holiday, my dd as a child would say, 'Mum, it's THAT way, isn't it?!' And she was right, every time!😳

Last time we all went away together DH announced to the kids, 'Wow, it's our 4th day in this hotel, and Mum's FINALLY turned the right way out of the lift to the dining room, first time, Whoop Whoop'!!

I did snap at him and told him how irritating those comments are and he grudgingly apologised, but he just doesn't get it!!

@Wisteriabloom

It's so debilitating, isn't it! 🤔

MyCat - I know the feeling! I've lost count of the times on holiday, my dd as a child would say, 'Mum, it's THAT way, isn't it?!' And she was right, every time!😳

Last time we all went away together DH announced to the kids, 'Wow, it's our 4th day in this hotel, and Mum's FINALLY turned the right way out of the lift to the dining room, first time, Whoop Whoop'!!

I did snap at him and told him how irritating those comments are and he grudgingly apologised, but he just doesn't get it!!

My dh always waits to see if I turn the right way out of a lift, door, shop etc. I very rarely do, so I totally get what you're saying. However, I'm old enough that I don't care and laugh about it .

I'm dreadful. In fact I've often used it in job interviews when asked what my greatest weakness is. I'm safe in the knowledge that I'd never take a job that involved driving as I'd never find my way anywhere. I can go to work exhibitions, go to the loo and have to ring my colleagues to ask my way back to our stand.

I have a shocking sense of direction. I am visually impaired though, so can blame that.

I use landmarks a lot - but if something with my landmark changes (like the shop on the corner becomes something different) or I have to follow a diversion, I’m stuck.

Honestly, it’s the worst - if I tell you to go left, for your own sanity, GO RIGHT!!!

Thanks OP for this thread. I’ve suffered with an appalling sense of direction since forever. I don’t drive, I’ve got no sense of orientation. I struggle to figure out in which direction places/towns are connected to each other. Really struggle with giving directions too or explaining a route I take.
I like to think that part of my brain is filled with other useful stuff rather than just being empty though perhaps it’s not!
On the plus side I am creative, love languages, not too bad at maths. I am left-handed and I would hazard a guess that more lefties than would be expected suffer from this.
Thanks again, I don’t feel quite so alone now!

Do any of you not have a mental roadmap either? So as an example, if someone at work said we need to do this, then this, followed by this, and finally this, (not about directions, just a list of things), it's really hard to remember each step in order? It feels as if I've dropped a pack of cards and I just can't get them back as they should be.

I am the same.
If I give directions (only ever to those I know a well, I give visual aids as this is the only way I can find my way).
I went to the toilet in the gym the other day and could not remember which way to turn to come out.
In fact when I go to the toilet in day a pub, I often can't remember my way back. I can't even remember to turn right or left out of the door.
If a road is closed when I'm driving I cannot think how the roads link up and always spend ages driving around trying to find my way.
It's very frustrating.
I got separated from my family in holiday and got totally lost in the resort complex, I began to o panic and felt like crying. My son came to find me and rescued me.
I've spent so many times pretending that I actually did intend walking along a certain street when I'm really lost and just trying to get back to where I started from.
I always park in the same car parks in the same spot if possible, otherwise I can't find my car.
I think it's because a lot of places all look the same.

Yup. I have Asperger's and wonder if there is a link.

I'm finding this so interesting!
I have a degree, speak 3 languages, read music, am good at mental maths, good at art, good balance, not dyspraxic or dyslexic etc etc.

I get lost all the time and I can't see maps in my head. I wonder if I have the no mental images thing but I don't know as it's all I've ever known. I do drive but I am forever getting lost. I can read maps but cannot give directions without them. I get lost in familiar places, and although I know where A and B are, I can't draw the mental lines from A to B in my head.

Fascinating.

@ThatSunnyCorner I wouldn't think of it as a mental roadmap but yes this is a problem for me. It's a deficit in working memory and/or executive function (WM is one of the executive functions). This is impaired in disorders like ADHD, ASD, but also dyspraxia and dyslexia can cause problems with it.

@LitCrit this might be relevant to you as well.

When I was younger I would never go to the toilet when out and about alone. I knew I would find it difficult to find and also could never find my way back especially in busy places full of strangers such as a pub.

I feel I've found my people! I'm the same in busy places - the other week I was at a music festival with my sister, her dh & kids. We got to the festival field, found a space and put out our picnic blanket/chairs etc.

My sister stayed put with the kids while her dh & I went to get burgers & drinks. There was a long queue at the BBQ, so my sister's DJ said to save us both queuing, why don't I go back with the drinks while he stayed in the burger queue. I turned around with my tray of drinks, to go back to seating area and panicked - I couldn't remember where we were sat, in the sea of people!😳

I knew we were facing centre stage but couldn't remember how many rows in, or what colour picnic blanket! Had I left the area on my own, to get drinks or go to the loo I'd have noted mental landmarks, ( I always do this)! But going off with someone, (doubled with remembering everyone's drinks orders), it didn't occur to me I'd be finding the way back on my own!

I eventually found them, not long before my sister's dh came back with the food. He looked a bit surprised I'd only just got back, but luckily for me said nothing about it!😳

Yes, I'm good at plenty of others things and have been told I'm intelligent, (same as other posters have said), but lack of directional memory is a most inconvenient problem to have, for sure!!

My goodness, I'm like thus! I've always felt like I had some sort of disability, despite being quite intelligent in other aspects.

I'm awful at updating lists too, I wonder if it's connected? I occasionally have to update lists of names, or put certain colleagues' names against tasks, and I get it wrong every time. It's embarrassing. It's as if my mind got overloaded with the lines and names/tasks, etc. Anybody's got that?