Dummies

[Lifox]

Hi, I am looking for some advice, we tried to take the dummy off my 2 year old daughter a little while back but it just didn't work and I don't think she trusted us anymore so demanded to have her dummy a lot more and the tantrums (added by the start of the terrible twos!) were horrific .... since then she has had the most horrific cold and Hand Foot and Mouth disease so we have let her have the dummy during the day as needed.
I feel she is getting over these now but I don't know how to get her back to just having the dummy for naps and sleeps ( which we are happy with for now) The tantrums are so bad we wouldn't get anything done if we didn't cave... any advice welcome...PLEASE!

By caving in you have made it harder but next time you have to resist as the tantrums I’ll not go on forever and you have to find other ways to pacify her.

I never used dummies but when my daughter had tantrums I would just carry on talking as normal and going about my business with her, giving no reaction to the tantrum whatsoever.

At first she just ramped it up but then realised that i was not going to respond so the tantrums eased and she eventually gave up.

If you give in you are going to make this game worse as she gets older as she will always push boundaries with you knowing you will give in.

Made the rule that the dummy lived under her pillow. If she wanted her dummy that was fine she had to go and lay down in her bed with it though.

Rarely went off for lay down tbh!

Unfortunately you have repeatedly caved, which has told her every time she can just scream to get her way (and not just about dummies - she’s got that message that she can push your boundaries on anything).

Your only option is to not give in. Short term stress for long term gain. It’s harder now because you gave in before, and the longer you continue to give in, the harder it will be.

*Made the rule that the dummy lived under her pillow. If she wanted her dummy that was fine she had to go and lay down in her bed with it though.

Rarely went off for lay down tbh!*

This is what we did with Dd1 it worked well it wasn't allowed out of bed she was almost 3 when we got rid.

@Mariell

By caving in you have made it harder but next time you have to resist as the tantrums I’ll not go on forever and you have to find other ways to pacify her.

I never used dummies but when my daughter had tantrums I would just carry on talking as normal and going about my business with her, giving no reaction to the tantrum whatsoever.

At first she just ramped it up but then realised that i was not going to respond so the tantrums eased and she eventually gave up.

If you give in you are going to make this game worse as she gets older as she will always push boundaries with you knowing you will give in.

Thank you for the advice..

I know we are wrong for caving but its just been so hard, we wouldnt get her dressed let alone ourselves dressed and out to work...

We have tried ignoring, distraction, telly (which I also hate), toys, food but sometimes it just wont work.... :-( she just cries till she nearly looses her voice/ is sick.

Im at a loss but thank you for replying.

@Mrsjayy

*Made the rule that the dummy lived under her pillow. If she wanted her dummy that was fine she had to go and lay down in her bed with it though.

Rarely went off for lay down tbh!*

This is what we did with Dd1 it worked well it wasn't allowed out of bed she was almost 3 when we got rid.

Thank you for the advice..

I know we are wrong for caving but its just been so hard, we wouldnt get her dressed let alone ourselves dressed and out to work...

We have tried ignoring, distraction, telly (which I also hate), toys, food but sometimes it just wont work.... :-( she just cries till she nearly looses her voice/ is sick.

Im at a loss but thank you for replying.

Leave them to the dummy fairy. She needs them to send to babies. Then throw them all away. She can't have one of you don't have any. That will help with the caving.

A couple of techniques ive seen that have worked -

• snip the end so they're not as good

• give them to the dummy fairy for little babies to use

• they stay in her bedroom

• cold turkey/bribary

I think it depends so much on the little ones charactor as to what technique will work.

I believe they need their comfort if she needs it she needs it, maybe try longer between her having it, never answer her with it in her mouth get her to take it out.

@Letsallscreamatthesistene

A couple of techniques ive seen that have worked -

• snip the end so they're not as good

• give them to the dummy fairy for little babies to use

• they stay in her bedroom

• cold turkey/bribary

I think it depends so much on the little ones charactor as to what technique will work.

Thank you for the tips. x

@Mrsjayy

I believe they need their comfort if she needs it she needs it, maybe try longer between her having it, never answer her with it in her mouth get her to take it out.

Thank you... yes my approach was to not talk to her with the dummy in and my mum suggested extending it to not playing etc with her with the dummy in... I will definitely try this approach!

My son was older, we left him until 3yo with dummy (he only had it for sleep from around 7 months or so)

The week we got rid was like having a newborn again! But worth it all in all. We chucked them all out so there was no temptation to give in (which there very much was on several occassions!) and went cold turkey. It was a tough week but he settled more and more each night and has never mentioned it since (4-5 months ago now)

We did the 'dummy fairy' too so he put them all in a bowl for her and then next morning there was a gift left where the bowl had been

We have a few dummies for my 18m old. He recently refused one because it had developed a hole and wasn’t satisfying. When we are ready to get rid of them, I plan on poking holes in them one by one over a week or so and hoping for the best!