Calling mum's of 13/14 year old boys - your wisdom please!

[Fiftysixthnamechange]

Hi wise mumsnetters...
My almost 14 year old son told me last week that he likes a girl at school and they have decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend! So yesterday DH and I dropped him off at her house so they could spend the day together, we met her and her parents and everyone was very lovely etc etc. They went to the shop together, played cards and watched a film together. All very innocent so it seems but I'm FREAKING OUT! I feel like he's too young for all this but he's my eldest so parenting teenagers is all new to me. Is this OK? Any words of advice? Too much too soon or he's nearly 14, this is completely normal?

Very normal. Just keep a close eye on how things are progressing and keep an open dialogue about age of consent etc. Think about rules for when she's at your house, bedroom door left open etc. I'm sure the girls parents will do the same for when he's at their house.

My eldest is only 11 so I’ve not parented a teen myself either, but just had to say that I hope when my DS time comes for a first relationship, he is as open and honest and the girls parents welcome him as yours has been. Keep the dialogue open, don’t judge, don’t be ‘cringe’ and just be there…

My DS had a similar situation at the same age, we put rules in place like no closing of doors if they were sat in his room etc. It lasted about 6 months then fizzled out - she went to a diff school.

Expected it to be the start of DS having girlfriends etc, but 4 years later we're yet to be aware of any others!

I have a 14yr old DD and her peers have been having these sort of relationships for a couple of years. Her closest female friend dated a boy for 8 months and they were inseparable. He even went on holiday with her family for 2 weeks.

Just be clear about boundaries now. Plenty of dd's peers are having sexual relationships and their parents believe it's all innocent.

OK, so far then it seems pretty normal! I'm pleased he was open with us, we've spoken with him about what's appropriate at this age and that we expect him to carry on being open with us, now to start worrying about what to do if she breaks his heart!

My 14yo is still at the stage of girls are either friends or yucky.
He says he is not going to marry but have a house full of pets instead.
Mind you 10 years ago he informed me he wouldn't stop creeping into our bed in the middle of the night until he was 28yo, and he hasn't dobe that for a very long time. 🤣

It's completely normal. Thinking back, I had my first 'holding hands' crush at 13.

My ds has gone from 'all girls are pointless' to saying there is one particular girl who is very annoying. And she does seem to crop up in conversation a lot

Any day now.........

Greetings from the team bench OP. DS, a chronic soap dodger, is showering daily and walking around like Pigpen but with a cloud of Lynx. There is a new girl this term. The x box is still just edging it, but only just.

@TSSDNCOP

Greetings from the team bench OP. DS, a chronic soap dodger, is showering daily and walking around like Pigpen but with a cloud of Lynx. There is a new girl this term. The x box is still just edging it, but only just.

Snap! We're talking daily showering, before applying a Liberal dousing of lynx that burns the nostrils!

Perfectly normal!!
My DS has had girlfriends for the past 4 years at least
Don't freak out. It's fine.

Coming from someone with your user name @CloseYourEyesAndSee that's not as encouraging as you might have hoped