Siblings - always seem to be talking about another !

[Yankee63]

Does anybody else’s sisters when together talk about the one that’s not there ?

I don’t seem to go down to there houses a lot maybe twice a month because of the reason
I don’t want to know all there problems, how they think xxx should treat her kids or why they have money problems or there drinking too much
It just gets me down and I end up coming away with it playing on my mind and feeling flat and down. They probably call me also.
Not saying I haven’t said anything before, but I tend to say something and add “ it’s her house, her rules” something like that

It stops me wanting to see them, as before I go I think to myself @ there gonna start calling the girls” so sometimes I stay away but then feel guilty!
I’m not an out going person, quite reserved and also suffer high anxiety/depression which has a massive effect on me visiting people/family.
I can’t just brush it off and pretend, it seems to ruminate with me over & over

Anyone else have this problem with family?
How do I not let it get to me ?

Nobody else’s family do this then ? Or it doesn’t bother get to you ?

Sorry I’m a bit confused, are u one of the siblings?

Yes there’s 4 off us girls

Say if one off the girls isn’t there, then that person is talked about
Could be something one off their kids have said to them and one sister doesn’t agree with how she’s handled it
or their financial situation, why they waste money
Anything really
It just seems to me unnecessary, why can’t they just talk about mundane things😊

I feel it gets me down, moaning about the way other sisters run their lives
Wish I didn’t go, but then I feel guilty if I don’t

Wish I didn’t take it away with me and just switch off, unfortunately I’m not that person who can

Anyone help me handle this, any tips ?

Are your siblings like this ?

I’m one of two so no one else to talk about. Me and my brother do talk about our parents quite a bit though. We live a long way apart and are at different life stages so don’t have huge amounts in common. Mum and Dad and our childhood are a good route to go to if we run out of topics.

I think you continue with the “their house their rules” mantra and don’t get involved with any bitching. Try not to take it to heart, it’s probably just sounding off about and with their nearest and dearest.

@Yankee63 ahhh okay thanks for clearing it up, yeah this does happen unfortunately. I’m one of 4 siblings and it’s been known to happen a lot where the one that isn’t present will be spoken about and not always positively. Sometimes it’s just a vent or a rant and other times straight backbiting. It isn’t okay and I’m not innocent as I’ve also been the one who’s spoken about someone else too.

It’s really refreshing that you feel how you do in the sense it’s making you uncomfortable. You have a good heart x