Two FT working parents and baby who doesn’t sleep well

[Caramelcreamfudge]

Anybody else in this position?

Is there any way at all to make it vaguely bearable?

How old is baby @Caramelcreamfudge?

Alternate nights and early mornings, that way you're only ever one night away from a decent few hours of sleep and each get a good lie in on the weekend. (This is assuming baby is not breastfed?) Join The Beyond Sleep Training Project on Facebook for advice on the baby's sleep and solidarity.

Not now but have been. My son didn't sleep at all well until about age 5.
We used to get about 5 hours broken sleep each night.

No way found here except to ignore everything said by partner between hours of 10pm and 6am. Try to get a few nights off if you can.
You do get through it and forget. My son is 15 now. My DD was,a good sleeper but we had a 6 year age gap!!!

How old is your baby? We did very gentle sleep training at 10 months to get DS going down at a decent time and in his own cot. I kept nearly falling asleep while driving to and from work so it was getting dangerous.

I also spent a good year relying on energy drinks to get me through the day at work. Not ideal but you do what you've got to do!

Thanks. Baby 9 months. Tried gentle sleep training and it did not work. She may have teeth coming on top.

9 months is a time of a huge sleep regression. Were they sleeping better before? How long have they been in childcare?

I have to provide care (medical) during the night to my teenage son often, so most nights are broken. I work full time, and am a single mum. I had non sleeping babies too (no medical issues).
What helps: caffeine. All the caffeine. Screw those who say its bad- it is essential!
My son goes to his dads once a week, and every other weekend. That little bit of sleep is essential, and I really struggle without it. So alternating nights or doing a rota sounds like a good idea.
Otherwise…you do get used to functioning on little sleep. Hang in there!

I can’t honestly say she’s ever slept ‘well’ but it’s been worse than others. At the moment she wakes at 4 and we can’t get her back down even though she is tired. And then by the time she falls asleep it’s time to go to work! FML!

The No Cry Sleep Solution has some useful strategies with early waking of I remember correctly but yes, definitely take it in turns and you should each get one lie in over the weekend

Yeah … just nothing seems very effective. It’s difficult as not sure if I’m doing it all ‘wrong’ or if it’s actually just one of those things!

If it was early waking I’d just adjust my day accordingly but the problem is she is tired, she wants to go back to sleep, but can’t.

If it was early waking I’d just adjust my day accordingly but the problem is she is tired, she wants to go back to sleep, but can’t
Mom probably not the best person to ask as at that age I'd have them in bed with me. It was the only way my two would sleep and so we could too. I didn't move them out into their own rooms until they were over 1.

But taking them in your bed doesn’t automatically mean they sleep. Mine doesn’t.

What are your current childcare arrangements- can they be adapted to include some overnight provision?

But taking them in your bed doesn’t automatically mean they sleep. Mine doesn’t

That's such a shame.

It could still be the 9 month sleep regression though.

Have you tried her with some ibruprofen for the teething?

No overnight provision and tbh I wouldn’t want her staying away from me overnight. Just a funny stage.

9m is peak separation anxiety, sleep regression and teething. Stick with it for a month/6 weeks and it will get a bit easier gradually.

Take turns where you can to even the load, try and catch-up on weekends. Caffeine, lots of it but not after 4pm or you'll never get to sleep. Prioritise work tasks for when you have most concentration, e.g. I do spreadsheet work from 10am-1pm. First thing I'm useless and the afternoon is also no good brain power wise

You'll get through it

Any room for you or DH to use flexible working arrangements so you can work in shifts as it were ?

This was us a few years ago OP. DD didn't sleep through till she was nearly 5, I worked full time and DH worked weekends as well. It is truly horrendous and there were some work days I don't know how I got through them. The most important thing to remember is u r not doing anything wrong, some r just terrible sleepers. Go to bed early and don't sweat the small stuff. Keep talking to ur partner and help each other. And buy a lush coffee machine! They all grow up eventually.

We were in this position and alternated nights - one night his turn to get up and deal with the baby while I slept and then we swapped the next night. If the baby was ill or a complete nightmare the sleeping partner would pitch in but otherwise the one on duty just got on with it. My daughter didn't sleep through until 19 months and I'd been back at work FT for over a year by then. You just get through it.