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Hatred

14 replies

Jellypot · 17/09/2021 21:18

Can I get some advice please on hatred.

I don't want to give away too much identifing information.

I have an estranged sibling. She estranged herself as a control tactic. She was hoping I would run after her.

The estrangement was for tit for tat stuff. She used to get offended easily and she holds onto everything.

I've been on the end o f vicious hatred campaign from her for years.
Insults, mocking me, twisted stories, bringing up old rows and other irrelevant stuff that never had anything to do with us falling out, threats of a smear campaign, followed through on them threats, twisted stuff for example claiming in messages all I wanted to do was to suck her tits and suck my brothers cocks (she was jealous because I have a better relationship with some of them. I get on well with them but just not that well). She sent me naked pictures of her body saying I was only jealous of her.

She's definitely on a mission. That's for sure. I think she wants me to make amends and be friends with her. That's not going to happen at this stage though. It's too late after all the poison she's sent to me and all the shit stirring she did. I felt sorry for her about three years ago and I replied back to a round of messages and I was thoughtful, polite, respectful, she raised some issues and I was honest in dealing with them when she was demanding for why, why, why. I was very mindful and careful too in my choice of words. I was respectful and I was taking on the blame too and careful not to blame her. She just threw everything back in my face and continued to hold onto the issues that she has on me.

I took on relevant measures like you would do an ex - changed numbers, email address, limited social media.

There was a recent round of communication from her and this time it was towards my employer but it wasn't the first time from her to do this. It was just to smear my name. I was grey rocking her attempts for attention for years by the way.

The police won't do anything because she's family and she's not threatening violence. I'm not in the UK where there are options of court orders like a restraining order and other orders. The only court order available to me is an injunction which is very expensive. I was bounced around between solicitors and police.

I am on my own with what is a very stressful situation of a vicious hatred and smear campaign.

One small piece of consolidation that I have is that my employers think she's fucking mad. It still wasn't nice though because it came out of nowhere after a few months of a quite spell.

For the first time I saw fury. Pure fury came over me. Not straight away. I went home in a fury. There was so much fury I came down with the worst headache I ever had.

I decided to take matters into my own hands. Not in the physical sense. I made a new Facebook profile and I found some of her friends listed under a profile picture of hers. I zoned in upon one in particular. I know she has a good job that would be from years of college and studying hard. So she should be some what intelligent. I sent her messages. Message after message after message. The messages from my sister. The twisted words, the insults, the porn, her naked body pictures. I couldn't send it all because its too much and I don't have the time to send it all but I sent a lot along with some confirmations of the siblings phone number and email address. So the messages came from her. I notified her that that matter has been referred to the police. Surely she would be intelligent enough the take the threat of police seriously and she might understand what the public prosecutions system is like. The fact is I was also messaging her and getting her involved and she probably doesn't want to be involved.

Do you think would that be enough to give my sister a fright into stopping? My sister did send me one message just the one complaining about me but it was just the one. She usually never stops. Or should I be worried that the crazy bitch will just turn more covert on me and do more in retaliation? Would it be enough. If I ever hear from her again, I will send more. I don't care if the pair of them decides to report me for harassment. At this stage I don't care but I think she would be too much of a coward because she would have to stand at a police counter and tell them how I got her naked pictures. I don't think she realises half of the stuff she sent me over the past few years so seeing some of that back in front of her from her friend should be enough of a fright.

What do you think?

OP posts:
RandomMess · 17/09/2021 21:28

You are relying on her friend telling your relative and believing you over the relative who could well claim you are a nutter and have fabricated it all?

I hope she is frightened or humiliated into leaving you alone.

Jellypot · 17/09/2021 21:37

I think maybe there was a good chance the friend told her. I'm not going into details of the fake name I picked but I think the sister would be told. I don't know if screen shots were taken from there and sent back to her.

I don't care what my sister says to her friend. I don't care what they think.

OP posts:
CoRhona · 17/09/2021 23:06

If you have forwarded naked pictures of your sister that was a bad move...

Jellypot · 17/09/2021 23:15

I understand that corhona. It would probably be considered revenge porn. They can go to the cops and report me for all I care. I don't care any more. It's been going on for so long. She's will be far too much of a coward to stand a police officers desk and report me because that will also mean explaining to them how her sister got pictures of her tits along with the filthy accompanying words that came with them.

With revenge porn, there has to be a element of trust that was within a relationship and something to be broken. An element of privacy.

There was none of that in this situation. She sent me pictures in a campaign of filth and hatred. At this stage I would welcome the cops to come to my door and do some some work.

OP posts:
Gorl · 17/09/2021 23:59

I think it’s wrong for you to drag someone else into this. Her friend doesn’t deserve to be made an accessory in this. It’s not her issue to deal with.

I really feel for you but I don’t think it’s right for you to use other people like that.

Crunchymum · 18/09/2021 00:03

Didn't you post this very recently?

Jellypot · 18/09/2021 00:10

Trust me, I hated contacting the other woman but I am gutted that my sibling is still doing what she's doing. Years down the line and she's still doing it. She had no right to make contact with my employer AGAIN so she is using people herself too. The idea of contacting the other woman was to get her to stop. She's free to live her life without the sister she hates so much. She's free. It's not fair what I did and I hated it but I will do it again if I have to.

OP posts:
Mariell · 18/09/2021 00:10

You should not have contacted the Facebook friend but what’s done is done.

I would message the friend and apologise and reassure them you won’t contact them again.

You then need to block your sister on Facebook and any other social media and on your phone etc.

Just completely block anywhere and everywhere and accept that you and her no longer have a relationship.

Retaliation is pointless and a waste of time.

Do not reply if she still manages to get a communication through to you. Just delete and block where it came from.

If she harasses you in person don’t open your door to her and call the police. If you are out and see her, walk away and do not speak to her. Call the police if necessary.

You have to show her that she will never get a response or a reaction from you.

PastMyBestBeforeDate · 18/09/2021 00:15

I cannot imagine what I'd do if a relative of a friend suddenly forwarded me a barrage of stuff. I wouldn't want to be dragged into it.

Jellypot · 18/09/2021 23:55

I never sent the friend a barrage of abuse. I forwarded on videos and messages and pictures that my sister sent me and it wasn't even half of what she sent and I told her that the matter has been referred to the police.

I'm not too sure if it worked. There hasn't been any communications from my sister that I know of but I don't know if she is still contacting the employer.

My cousin showed me a post my sister wrote on Facebook and it wasn't sneering me or anything like that. The post was written but a woman who wasn't at all concerned about the possibility of facing a legal and criminal situation.

I know, if that was me who was threatened with police resulting in a high probability of a criminal record, I would be putting my head down and seeking legal advice.

Folks, I was hoping shaming her for once and for all would be enough to frightening her and getting her to stop. A lot of the abuse and harassment from her is her trying to control the family she hates so much to bend us and break us into confirming to her emotions and feelings and ego. How am I going to get her to stop?

We haven't shared a physical space to get in about 4 years so it's not like I am in her face and triggering her.

OP posts:
Jellypot · 18/09/2021 23:56

I was coping well over the past few years but I am a woman that is beginning to break and all I want to do is die for peace.

OP posts:
SoloISland · 19/09/2021 00:25

"Render to no man evil for evil" are wise wise words.

I am hated by someone here. Not for anything I have done. Just a situation going on here. I NEVER retaliate and he has no idea how he has hurt me and never will have. Even though I am old and disabled he makes sure I cannot get anyone to do repair work etc here.
Hatng or hitting back makes you as bad as he is. You are worth more than that. SO am I

""

WingingItSince1973 · 19/09/2021 00:41

Your sisters sounds absolutely deranged. I would continue blocking her from everything as much as possible. Your employers understand and I guess other family members do too. Have you sought counselling for yourself? I can't even imagine having someone like that in my life so I think a counsellor would help you deal with it internally. This isn't your fault. I can see why you reached out to her friend. Desperate people do desperate things but please don't do it anymore. If you can take an injunction out then seek that too. She sounds like she desperately needs help but you need to get some support too xx

Underamour · 19/09/2021 09:08

What?

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