Part time working mums sharing childcare between each other

[mumof3mellymoo]

Hi Mum's 👋 I wanted too ask advice and opinions about something that I have been thinking of for a while now and not sure if it is already a thing. A parents group that want too go back to work part time but cannot afford the childcare. So I'm thinking of trying too set something up where parents come together and try and work out where they can share childcare. So if 1 mum for example works 2 days and the other mum works on opposite 2 days a week they share between them the childcare. Obviously there would need to be dbs checks ect background checks. My youngest is 7 months old and I would like to try and work atheist 16 hours a week. Just cannot see any profit in it if I have to pay for childcare.

It's illegal

In theory it should work.

In practise I think it is unlikely to work for most people. It could work for you on a personal level, but I don't think there is a business in it.

Mumsnet is not the right crowd to ask though.

Have you looked at everything you would be entitled to financially, long term prospects, different childcare costs etc? Also remember to balance it against the family income, not just your income.

The implications of things that could go wrong means it's not wise.
No paediatric first aid
No insurance
No registration
Who will your child be around when not in your care ? A DBS is only as good as the day it's printed. What you are describing is babysitting and not childcare. Also you haven't thought about holidays you'd have to sync them with the other parent or you'd have gaps in cover.

First aid and food safety are huge ones – I’ve got a mum friend who merrily hands out uncut grapes and whole nuts to her toddler, I don’t let DD go on playdates there unsupervised by me.

'A DBS is only as good as the day it's printed.'

This used to be the case but has been fixed with the new update service. Although of course it still only tells you who has been caught, not who is committing crimes!

I'm not sure of the relevance of my job role, I work full time Monday-friday 9-5 in an office. Household income under 50k 🤷‍♂️ no family support and so childcare Is our only option

Nuffsaidsam thank you for your advice. Yes I don't think this is probably the best place to get info or opinions. It's my 1st time using mumsnet aswell. Thank you for everyone's input but I think I will leave it there.

It's a great place for information tbf, but not for opinions on something like this. It doesn't reflect what is the 'real world' for lots of people.

My friend and I did this for about 6 years. Both shift workers (nurses) and did opersite shifts. Only one child each and they went to the same school. We used to have each others child over night twice a week too.

Worked for us.

@xyzandabc

www.moneyhelper.org.uk/en/family-and-care/becoming-a-parent/childcare-options

At the bottom of this page.

Legally you can't regularly look after someone else's child, under 8 years old, for more than 2 hours a day, during normal working hours unless they are a registered child minder.

That's not correct, you don't have to register if you are looking after a child unless money/goods/services change hands. Reciprocal childcare doesn't count www.theguardian.com/society/2009/oct/12/friends-childcare-legal-balls

@copernicium

It's illegal

No, it's not www.surreycc.gov.uk/people-and-community/families/childcare/types/childminding-between-friends

'Legally you can't regularly look after someone else's child, under 8 years old, for more than 2 hours a day, during normal working hours unless they are a registered child minder.'

This only applies if you're in your own home and being paid in some way.

Nannies don't even have to be registered. If the childcare takes place in the child's home you can have whoever you want looking after them.

Imagine all the grandparents who'd be in jail if this was true?!

I've done this with a school age child, with someone I knew well. I would never even consider it with strangers, or with a baby. Looking after a baby is a lot of work and does require skill, what would happen if one child hurt another for example? I also think its very likely in a voluntary arrangement that one person would be a bit flaky and keep letting you down.

You mean just work full time, as a part time childminder and part time something else but not get paid for the childminding half of it?? I don’t get why anyone would do this.

The only problem I can foresee is if hours are not compatible. Of course it's not fucking illegal for women to look after one another's children without money changing hands. How do you think society has functioned for the last few thousand years? Women have always worked!

And I would never go anywhere near a nursery for a baby. All the ones in my area were only "satisfactory" anyway. Imagine how bad they have to be to only be satisfactory. We had a couple of absolutely brilliant childminders and DDs absolutely thrived in a home environment. I've no idea why so many mothers only consider nurseries, or at least as a first resort. Most of them didn't even open long enough to accommodate our working hours and travel, and when you are reliant on public transport the additional charges for lateness would be a nightmare. Whereas with a childminder, we could change the hours really easily.

@HarebrightCedarmoon women have always worked, and children have always been abused and neglected. The rules and regs exist to try and stop awful things happening. I have known women in low paid jobs share childcare successfully, when they were already close friends previously, and they arent banged up in jail so it must be possible to do.

I opted for nursery because I have regular working hours but I cannot miss work when childminder is sick or wants a vacation. And in practice I've only been fine once for being habitually late - they just give you a warning usually. Our nursery has a lovely family feel, some staff have been there over a decade looking after the babies, and the preschool is fantastic. But it is incredibly expensive! I try not to think about how much it costs.

I've no idea why so many mothers only consider nurseries, or at least as a first resort @HarebrightCedarmoon well, personally the 2 childminders I viewed for full time care for my baby were awful, I left one and cried in the car because I couldn't envision sending my son to her. The house was dirty (not messy, dirty) her only charges were her own child and her nephew, who, when I went to look around, were sat in front of the TV watching Bing - If I wanted my 8 month old stuck in front of the TV I'd send him to my 75 yr old MIL,

The nursery he goes to was a totally different experience, 2 babies in the baby room with 2 full time staff members, both of whom have worked there for over 7 years, a total of 15 children in the care of the entire nursery, Outstanding OFSTED reports from both of the settings, local to a park and duck pond and the outside area was 3 times that of the childminder.

Just because a CM worked for you, doesn't mean that every one in every area would be best for others.

No I mean if I worked 2 days aweek and the other parent worked 2 days we looked after each others children on the opposite guy days

I don’t understand why this is the only solution to you working?

When mine were young, they went to a childminder (cheaper than a nursery) and I went back to work.
I was always better off working, even with paying for childcare.

I’d never want to look after other people’s children when I wasn’t working, that time is pre iPod.

• precious, not pre iPod!

No I mean if I worked 2 days aweek and the other parent worked 2 days we looked after each others children on the opposite guy days

I don’t think anyone misunderstood that.
Repeating it doesn’t make it sound any more sensible. You want to give your child to a stranger with no childcare qualifications for half the week for free and then you want to take in that strangers child for free the other half of the week to tag along with you and your DC. For the many reasons you’ve been given it is not a genius idea - there’s a reason that this isn’t already a thing. Sorry to rain on your parade, clearly you thought you’d had a great lightbulb moment but it’s a real piss in the dark.

Have you taken into account the tax free childcare account?

I’m not in a high salary but I’m still better off working.

Mumsnet raves about childminder but I don’t know many who use them. Actually I have a friend who’s child came back with a bruise on her face the first day, no accident form or explanation!

Luckily we have lots of ‘good’ ofsted registered nurseries. Great food including a 4.30pm afternoon tea, low staff turnover, lots of tapestry reports, just over all a lovely place and I really trust them.

'lots of tapestry reports'

They report the child's day in the form of tapestry? That really is exceptional!

Although presumably that takes a while and will split their focus from their childcare? Or do they have a designated weaving team?

In theory or sounds good, but I think reality would be very different. You would need a back up plan if one of you or the children were unwell. What about holidays? Would you be happy having the same? Logistically coordinating that with 2 different work places would be difficult. In my experience my days off are spent cooking/cleaning/shopping/general life admin. Difficult enough to do with your own child with you, I wouldn't want someone else's as well.

There's a reason why childcare is highly regulated!