No family and feeling low

[Alonewandering]

Just looking for some advice and a handhold really.

My mum hasn’t been around much and for the last ten years I’ve avoided relying on her and don’t share much of my life with her - she just isn’t interested nor cares. It’s about her and she only gets in touch when I can do something for her. But for the last 6 months I’ve been NC and it’s been great and stress free. I still get voicemails asking to loan her money but I don’t reply.

I just feel quite sad as I realise I have no family and no support. I also went NC with my sister as she is a really difficult person. But I just feel so alone and so sad I have no family. There’s no extended family either bar an elderly uncle.

That sounds really hard op. Do you have a family of your own to rely on?

Handhold here OP

I'm also without any biological family, we're all NC in a really complicated way but for the right reasons. It's a long story but the last NC decision was my Narcissistic Mum, 7 years ago now.

I have two young Dds, hardly any support and it is a lonely place sometimes.

The one thing I know for sure is I'm far better off without the pain and stress of trying to have a relationship with them, always ending in fallout and drama. Not something I'd ever want for my Dds and definitely something I don't ever want to be around ever again.

My eldest Dd has just started school and hoping to make some mum friends (it was a new move just before covid so missed out on all the baby clubs, mixing at nursery etc).

I know it's lonely and I really feel for you and understand totally how your feeling but keep strong in knowing its for the right reasons, its that that keeps me grounded around it all, the thought of having those relationships back in my life gives me shivers!

I really longed for a relationship with them, especially with my mum, but when I realised I never really had a mum I stopped trying, there's a freedom in that.

Hello, thank you for your replies. I don't have any family of my own and it seems unlikely that will change. I find it much more sad now than I did when I was younger - I think because I am really am NC now and because I am more aware now of just how disinterested my mum really was in us. Her disinterest grew more and more the older we got. She's only interested in any success that she can boast about but other that takes no active interest in my life. She never wanted kids and just got married because she felt there was nothing else to do.

It's all quite sad really but I definitely feel better off without her.

She always used to say when she was upset with me not to bother coming to her funeral. I think she means it in that I think she wouldn't really be bothered but I know myself I certainly won't be going when the time comes.