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Original poster

Tell me your stories of moving house and school in when you were in year 4 / or with a year 4 child?

14 replies

Christmassy8 · 15/09/2021 08:19

Did this happen to you or one of your DC?

DS knows this is likely, as we’re house-hunting, but I moved when I was in year 6 and I absolutely hated it so am feeling a lot of guilt and thinking maybe we shouldn’t move areas.

(Our area is expensive which is why we’re looking to leave - but if we do leave it, a move of school would be necessary.)

OP posts:
AngeloMysterioso · 15/09/2021 09:13

My Mum moved us from Essex to the Midlands when I was in Year 5- family were hundreds of miles away, I was teased mercilessly for my accent, never fit in, fucking hated it and moved back as soon as possible. My childhood was essentially chopped in half, I don’t have any friends that I’ve grown up with and now don’t have any place that I think of as “home”.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 15/09/2021 09:22

We moved (for the last time) last term, with a Yr3 and Yr5. Yr5 settled fine... Yr3 it appears is well liked but yet to find her tribe, as it were. She's not as 'girly' as the other girls. She was a bit behind academically, as it appears her new school kept up the curriculum better than her last one (who pretty much ignored the Home kids as the they had so many in School). But she has settled.she ust wants some Best Friends.
Elder DD found good friends on Day 1. Which was a relief after her last move... but she never settled at the last school, which she barely attended with not initially being allocated any school, then lockdowns. (That was a beginning f Yr4... so maybe that is the tricky age... not meaning to scare you)

Both have made friends at extra curricular stuff.

Original poster
Christmassy8 · 15/09/2021 09:30

@AngeloMysterioso

My Mum moved us from Essex to the Midlands when I was in Year 5- family were hundreds of miles away, I was teased mercilessly for my accent, never fit in, fucking hated it and moved back as soon as possible. My childhood was essentially chopped in half, I don’t have any friends that I’ve grown up with and now don’t have any place that I think of as “home”.
This is almost exactly what happened to me in year 6 Sad - teased for my accent, didn’t feel like I shared a “childhood” with the other children in my class.
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Original poster
Christmassy8 · 15/09/2021 09:33

@Aroundtheworldin80moves

We moved (for the last time) last term, with a Yr3 and Yr5. Yr5 settled fine... Yr3 it appears is well liked but yet to find her tribe, as it were. She's not as 'girly' as the other girls. She was a bit behind academically, as it appears her new school kept up the curriculum better than her last one (who pretty much ignored the Home kids as the they had so many in School). But she has settled.she ust wants some Best Friends. Elder DD found good friends on Day 1. Which was a relief after her last move... but she never settled at the last school, which she barely attended with not initially being allocated any school, then lockdowns. (That was a beginning f Yr4... so maybe that is the tricky age... not meaning to scare you)

Both have made friends at extra curricular stuff.

I hope she finds her new best friend and tribe!

Don’t worry about scaring me - I really want opinions to know what to do. Stay in the area and have something smaller without outside space, or move out and risk unsettling DS. I wish we’d made the move years ago, but the time has never really felt right!

OP posts:
TheDogsMother · 15/09/2021 10:15

I was moved several times ( forces background then family breakup) from the north to the middle to the south of the country and then the east of the country. I hated it, was always the new girl and often bullied, damaged my learning etc. The only upside is as an adult I am very comfortable moving house, changing areas and making new friends.

Theblackdogagain · 15/09/2021 10:17

I moved in top infants (year 2) from the Midlands to the south,never felt I fitted into my new town and left as soon as I could. Now live somewhere else but when asked where my home town is I don't have one.

Original poster
Christmassy8 · 15/09/2021 11:13

Oh no I’m sorry to hear of others’ bad experiences. Honestly I never felt like I fitted in anywhere either. I was sort of hoping it was the timing (year 6) or maybe some bad luck!

OP posts:
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 15/09/2021 11:36

My DDs definitely like living where we do now. But we moved all over before settling here, and have friends and family on the area.

SherryPalmer · 15/09/2021 11:53

My daughter moved in Y4, in fact she’s at her fourth school and she’s in y5. But she’s mainly been in international schools where it’s much more common for kids to move in and out and for the most part they are all very welcoming. Also they tend to be bigger than U.K. state primaries so more friendship options. Maybe it’s different in schools where the same cohort have been together since reception.

stripedbananas · 15/09/2021 11:56

I moved School a few times and it never bothered me at all. I made new friends straightaway at School and with neighbours.

IAmSantaOhYesIAm · 15/09/2021 12:17

We moved areas when my ds was yr4. He was very apprehensive and didn’t want to move but at that age they cannot imagine a different set of friends, new school etc. He was fine, mainly because the new school was small like his old one and the teacher was lovely. He soon made new friends and fitted in really well.
I also made friends in my new area which was something I was concerned about!!
Make sure you research schools in the new area and go on waiting lists if there aren’t any spaces.

Iheartmysmart · 15/09/2021 12:26

Difficult one. I was a RAF brat and had been to 9 schools by the time I finished my education. I was a painfully shy child and found it very tough starting again each time. It has definitely had an effect on me in terms of forming lasting friendships and relationships and I don’t feel like I have a “home” as such.

However if this is going to be a one off move then it’ll probably be fine. Just be sure to keep a close eye on your DS and give him plenty of opportunities to express his feelings about the move. Sometimes as adults we need to make difficult decisions for the sake of our family.

GingerFoxInAT0phat · 15/09/2021 12:29

I loved schools a lot (4 or 5 times) before finally settling in year 3. I absolutely hated it, but most likely as it happened after my mum dying, then having a house fire, moving into a hostel, then another town in a b&q, then back again to be left with family, then different family in another town, before back again. I was also an only child and very shy and quiet. But was never bullied, I think primary aged children are naturally friendly?

Then when I went to high school none of my friends from primary went so I had to start again but luckily grew much more confident.

I think if you have a solid family home he will be fine, in year 4 there’s still 2 years to develop new friends.

GingerFoxInAT0phat · 15/09/2021 12:29

Moved not loved!

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