Autism diagnotic in teenager

[TintinIsBack]

This is vey much a what would you do....

I have always thought ds2 was somehow on the spectrum. Tried to get some diagnosis when he was little (around 7~8yo). SALT said the way he is presenting was congruent with autism. CAMHS said everything was fine (despite the regular meltdowns, inability to make friends etc etc). I gave up at that point and decided to try and support him the best way I could assuming he probably was somewhere on that spectrum (The idea being that even he wasn't, whtaever I was doing would be detrimental to him iyswim).

Fast forward to now. ds2 is a teenager. Still has some 'issues' but is coping well with school etc... Except ds1 has just asked me if I thought ds2 was autistic (because of the way he reacts). ds2 is in 6 form. In two years he will be at Uni and I am actually not sure he will cope well tbh. And the issues he had are still there (but I suppose we have all got used to them if that makes sense)

I am starting to wonder if I shouldn't be pushing for a possible diagnosis again. But
1- is it really worth it?
2- how do I broach that with ds2?

Any advice?

Definitely worth it @TintinIsBack , support may be needed while he’s at uni/ college & it will open up access to any financial aid he may need.

Have school commented on his behaviours or raised any concerns?

Late diagnosis is common for individuals with autism who cope with “normal” life relatively well, it may not be autism but definitely worth looking into again if you’re worried.

We saw someone from Cahms 2 years ago re diagnosing DS being mildly on the spectrum. Still waiting for further news. Had one letter since saying he was on their list. I'm not chasing it as his Secondary School know he is and treat him accordingly and very well so the diagnosis luckily is not a necessity for how his education is planned.

My DS is well supported and has staff keeping an eye on him for his pastoral needs at School.

The reason I'm not chasing it is because they're clearly understaffed and judging from the form we filled in initially I'm aware that many DC are living in awful circumstances and need their help far more than my DS who is at least living in a loving home and being supported at School and a formal diagnosis won't really change things.

No one has commented in secndary.
But he is basically the quiet child that doesn't really talk so is often 'missed' if that makes sense.

I could have a chat with his form tutor though.
One of his teachers in primary had told me she knew what behaviours I was referring to, that she could see why I was wondring about autism but also that she didn't think I would ever get anywhere (her own experience with her own dc).

Any idea on how I coud broach that with ds2?

He is 16yo afterall and I'm thinking this might need to come from him anyway....

@stripedbananas, that was my exact conclusion when he was little!

Im more concerned that ds1 pointed that out and asked the question because it probably means I've got used to his quirks and see them as 'normal' (for a better word) but others might see things differently/as an issue.

Tbh even if he is diagnosed nothing much will change

I would push for a dx. It could give him extra time in exams and a mentor at university to ensure he reaches his full potential.

Yes, having a dx could give him help if needs it.
I’m more thinking it might give him some understanding. Something along the lines ‘oh that why I’m finding hard to do A and
B/I’m anxious/I’m thinking in a different way’.

But I’m aware it needs to come from him. I can’t push for a diagnosis if he doesn’t want to….