How to help maths anxious DD

[TravellingSpoon]

DD is in year 8 and has always found maths les easy than she finds English, even from reception.

Her main struggle is that she cannot seem to be able to retain number bonds, and cannot work out numbers in her head. So for example if the sum is 3+7+5, she will break it down into 2 sums, and then add on her fingers, she cannot remember that 3+7 = 10. The she starts to get anxious and she will end up in tears. Its horrible.

I have tried games, number bond posters and number squares, in the past. Her maths teacher said she is doing well, but would be better if she was confident. Plus her anxiety and long workings out often leave her confused, making her anxiety worse and her error rate much higher. We tried Kumon a few years ago which she absolutely hated, and begged hysterically not to go back.

Anyone had a similar situation and found a solution?

There’s nothing wrong with her method but she needs to circle the sums and write her answers above them so she doesn’t keep it all in her head and get them muddled.

There’s lots of maths games that help with basic numeracy. Mathletics, tt rockstars. (A pack of playing cards!)

It’s really common for kids to have low numeracy skills that mean they aren’t following the rest of the work because they are bogged down by the “easy bit”

It’s a muscle that needs to be flexed so she just needs to be practicing all the time.

There isnt anything wrong with her method but she cannot add 2 numbers without using her fingers which is embarrasing for her, but she just cant do it without. They are like a comfort blanket and if she doesnt use them she just freezes.

Is she actually doing well in maths? Or is she in bottom set? It's not clear from your post what her actual attainment level is.

If she gets horribly anxious doing calculations and it's affecting her progress, I'd give her a calculator and see how she gets on with that pressure removed when she is doing maths where the point of the question isn't to test her knowledge of arithmetic, but some other skill (e.g. finding missing angles). Two of her GCSE papers will be calculator papers after all. How is she at maths when she isn't having to count on her fingers?

I've got a scientific degree, work with numbers, and still use my fingers to count, and dont have instant recall of my times tables. I use a calculator at work (but also use stupid numbers like 12.34).
If she gets the concepts, and is accurate with her answers in a reasonable time, keep going with what works.
Yes, if you can get instant recall it's great. But it sounds like that isnt something that will come easily, and she has found a way to make it work.

She is in the 2nd set from what I can gather, and she is doing okay, but as I say, it makes her so nervous and she has decided she 'hates' it. She is good at most other areas of maths, but its all overshadowed by how this makes her feel.

I suppose its a bit like when I learned to drive. I could drive well but I hated roundabouts so I spent the whole time thinking about the roundabouts I hated, and would get so nervous about them that it overshadowed the rest of my lessons.

Honestly, it sounds like she has poor working memory which is a primary symptom of ADHD in girls. She should be able to do 3+7=10 and then “hold” 10 in her working memory to then add it to 5 a second later. The numbers slipping away and having to work slowly through them is poor working memory- which is one of the executive functions.

I’d get her assessed for ADHD especially as she is trying so hard she is making herself anxious.

If breaking it down into two sums gives her the right answer then don't let her worry about her method-it's not wrong.
Kumon is something that some children get on with, but others hate, so don't force her into it.

1. Tell her everyone finds something difficult (I can do maths but nothing else!) and something's are easier. Remind her what she is good at.
2. Say anything that is difficult does become slightly easier with practice-not easy, but easier. Perhaps tell her about something you've done like that.
3. Ask if she wants to do something to try and help (she may say no)
4. Give her the choice if she does (back off if she says no): Look for tutoring (if you can afford it, that's going to be £20-£40 an hour, but probably the most successful way. If she really struggles with maths you may well need to do it right up to GCSE), games, worksheets, online maths games, phone apps.
5. Whatever she chooses make sure she knows you will support her.
6. Give her rewards for doing the extra work, doesn't need to be much-a cookie she likes to eat while she's doing the game, a McDs sometimes on the way home from tutoring, not doing a chore etc.

Maths anxiety is an actual “thing”. The anxiety itself reduces working memory. It's particularly prevalent in girls (there is still the belief floating about that boys are good at maths and science and girls are fluff and unicorns) and this becomes a circular problem. So although girls are perfectly able, they end up self sabotaging. As previous people have suggested trying to encourage a growth mindset might help- so many girls think they are just naturally not good at maths, rather than believing they are as capable of success if they work and learn from their mistakes. I have a friend who did a maths degree and I remember saying, “wow, you must be really clever/naturally good at maths”. She said that she wasn't- she just worked hard at it!

I second the comment about maths anxiety being a real thing (I work in that sort of field). The thing is, when we feel anxious about maths it has an impact impact on our working memory, which is why holding bits of the calculation in your head then becomes difficult. Practising strategies to calm yourself is helpful, because you can then do the maths much more easily. Also, going at your own pace rather than hurrying us likely to help too.