Pre-schooler birthday party RSVP etiquette

[Dingdong99]

I've booked a party venue for my sons 4th birthday party, which can have up to 30 kids. Think school hall kitted out with soft play, bouncy castle, disco lights etc

I had his nursery email out the invite a couple of weeks ago, with my number on to RSVP to (as I don't have many peoples contact details)

About 7 people have RSVPd of which only 4 can come

I'm thinking of cancelling the venue and perhaps doing something smaller, as it will be a flop of only a few people turn up, plus we're paying £££ based on it being for up to 30 kids

Or perhaps people don't think they need to RSVP until nearer the time?!

Personally I always RSVP fairly quickly, but maybe a lot of people don't

What do you think?

Well how far away is it?

I wouldn't send an invite more than 2 weeks before.

Did you put an RSVP date on it? I’d ask the nursery if they can email out again and say to confirm by the weekend if their child will attend.

Hmm I must say. When I get kids party invites I usually go
“Aw lovely a party, DD will definitely go. I must remember to RSVP ASAP”
And then 3 weeks pass and I still haven’t.

I didn't put an rsvp by on, but totally should have!

It's end of October

End of October!

That's ages away!

Also, is it during half term?

That's miles in advance. I bet most have thought that they'll RSVP nearer the time and will forget. It's also half term in lots of places so those with older siblings may be away.

I'd send a paper invitation out at the start of October with a little note saying 'No need to RSVP again if you have already'.

Do you have any friends with vaguely similar aged children or people you see locally at any clubs/ groups you could invite too?

With that much notice, almost all will be planning to go. The only ones who will RSVP at this point will be this who already know that they can’t.

Unfortunately people will see end of October and think it's ages away and won't reply straight away. Unless their child is special friends with your DC they will also leave it as they won't prioritise a child's class birthday party over something "better" that might come up.

Lessons learnt

Invites 2-3 weeks in advance at most
Avoid school holidays unless you've checked with at least a few people in advance
Put an RSVP by date on the invitation.

Its too far ahead. We wouldn't know what we are doing that weekend... (due to work patterns, not waiting for a better offer!)

Dont send an invite more than 2 weeks in advance, word to the wise.

6 weeks notice?? I'm not surprised you've not had many responses.

But, you will always get some who dont reply. Some of those may or may not turn up.

Suggest paper invites nearer the time with a RSVP date on, but comment on those that have already replied thanking them for the previous response.

I think I'm just concerned that no one will turn up, whereas I can get a refund if I cancel it now

You always have the worry that no one will turn up. Even RSVPs don't mean that people will actually turn up.

Think of it as you are happy to spend the money and your DC will not care how many people come.
You can't really cancel and do something smaller - who would you "uninvite".

I think you’ve gone quite big for a nursery party. Realistically at that age you can’t drop and go so some of it might depend how well or not you know the families. It seems a bit more typical to start parties of that scale at school. Given your son is old in the year some will just be 3 and perhaps less bothered about parties/peers in general. In contrast, children that are a few years older will be talking about it, planning what to wear, getting excited etc.