Rargh! Don't you hate it when you have a family argument with the windows open

[DFOJuney]

Just that really. I have a complex relationship with my not so DM. She's down visiting. She won't listen at all and it's exasperating. NSDM doesn't actually get the gist unless you loose it and get pushed so much you end up shouting (karma full circle hear, I was reared by her in a shouty environment, something I am striving not to do with my own DC). Anyway, I was pushed beyond and shouted. Said some home truths, hurtful, but it goes both ways, I receive it all in equally good measure, always have...
But the windows were open. Our neighbours are in, their windows are always open, no doubt they heard the shouting and I hate hate hate how that makes me look. Obviously they'll only have heard me roaring and not why I was roaring. Hate it.
Que being told IABU. Blah blah blah.

Well first off shouting at anyone is unhelpful and unhealthy but you know that and your seeking to change this plus your human and it happens. Secondly again your human and I'm sure your neighbors understand this. I have heard my neighbors having cross words and I'm sure they have heard me. Dont work about it. No one is perfect. They will probably forget about it by dinner time.

Don't worry about it not work

I wouldn't worry too much about how it makes you look.

You just look like two people who had a shouting match.

Eugh, it was only me shouting. God she is driving me up the wall but she's here because my DF is helping DH with some DIY. Our relationship is pretty non existant and unrectifiable without severe lengthy family counselling that we just can't afford. Even if we did have the counselling it probably wouldn't work.....
I was half way through typing this and decided to raise it with her, in a calm adult manner and I got "you wouldn't let the counsellor get a word in..." I lost it and told her to FO (I'm sleep deprived with a baby... Not an excuse I know but for context.... My temper is short, but not with baby or DH or DF)

Oh Lord. I have just been visiting my mum, who unfortunately has my extremely angry brother living with her.

One morning he initiated an unpleasant ding-dong, culminating in him calling me a fucking slag (at great volume across the house) and me losing it and shrieking back, FUCK OFF YOU CUNT!!!

The neighbours must have loved it.

@VirgilStarkwell ❤️Xx

Pfft. That's nothing.

If you want real kudos points, try doing it in your garden, on a lovely summer's evening...

I rarely swear, or shout, but that evening I did both with a certain amount of gusto.

And I told the offender to get the fuck out of my house (In my defence though, he was being an utter arsehole, and I was absolutely right to throw him out)

I cringed for weeks, and then 'casually' brought it up with my neighbour, who very kindly insisted he hadn't heard a thing.

DFOJuney

Thank you ❤️!

Stay classy everyone! 😆

@Shodan oh I did the garden thing to at 4wks post partum. Unfortunately I lost it with DF. Oh I'm still cringing. Neighbours must think I'm a right ungrateful daughter so much for keeping up a good impression I hate myself for how I behave when they push me. Part of me thinks it was PND with DF but with NSDM she's just a cow at times.

I wouldn't worry. If neighbors have a bit of a shout now and then I dont mind. If it goes on for hours that's different.

My ex and I once had a row through an open window (me inside, him outside).

I know what you mean, me and OH had an argument the other day with the kitchen window open and it left me feeling paranoid the remainder of the day thinking “bet the neighbours heard that”

Oh, you're that neighbour!! Joke! Don't worry about neighbours as the rowing isn't constant (unless you're also that neighbour who put her gazebo against their fence when they want to barbecue or ignores her child who regularly has a meltdown in the garden or parks outside their house for no reason?). A bit of a spat gives neighbours something to get their dentures into and helps make them feel superior. Presumably mum will be off on her broomstick soon and their lives will go back to beige.

My neighbours do this all the time (open windows, open door, or in the front or back garden). They're not embarrassed by it. We've learnt to tune it out though sometimes it's hilarious

Thank you so much Everyone, you've made me feel so much better xxx

@Billandben444 Presumably mum will be off on her broomstick soon and their lives will go back to beige.

Just what I needed to hear thank you ❤️❤️❤️

You're welcome 😁😁😁

I wouldn't worry about the neighbours, OP. On the plus side - you've provided with some entertainment and they'll be on their best behaviour with you from now on!

I think my neighbours just think thank god it's someone else for a change.

I live in a terrace. My neighbours were having a ding ding yesterday. But they will have heard us before. Don't worry about it.

Thank you for your support everyone. My paranoia stems from my NSDM. She was the type to say that the posters of people, cardboard cut outs of people in shops etc were watching me when I was a toddler, as did my DF unfortunately ... I have a clear memory of being in Barclays bank at 4yrs old and being told the cardboard cut out of a lady was watching me where ever I went really freaked me out. I'll never do that to my DC.