Decluttering nightmare - everything sparks joy in my kid

[inthekitchensink]

I’m trying to declutter after 5 years of basically hoarding but I’m having difficulty.

We have a tiny house and lack storage. I’ve got rid of baby stuff & early toddler stuff no problem, but the explosion of stuff from relatives at Christmas and birthdays is getting me down.

Dd(5) bedroom is stacked with toy boxes and stuff is everywhere downstairs. I have trouble disposing of her creations - models/art work etc but also she seems love to love the endless bits of plastic tat.

Do you just bin/recycle/charity shop it all or do you try to sort it out regularly so it doesn’t overwhelm?

I do it by stealth when they've gone out and then claim ignorance of that ever ask for that piece of cardboard or that old shoe insert that I threw away.

Dc1's room is so messy at the moment it's a health hazard and I need to go in and tidy it up but I have to gear up to it. He has adhd and once it gets to that going point he just can't do it.

Neither child will throw anything away but will sometimes choose things for the charity shop bag.

It's a nightmare - mine are grown up now (and my DS's hoarding tendencies are his DDIL's problem ). The worse things were cuddly toys - they wouldn't get rid of them. I once managed to do a bit of a cull on some of DD's then a friend of hers' Dad took the girls to a car boot sale and gave them money to spend and she came home with two huge bags full of cuddly toys in various stages of disintegration. I hated that Dad

I used to sort out the 'best' of artwork and put it in a scrap book - they still like having a look at the scrapbook every few years. Anything sub Van Gogh/scribbled on computer paper got binned.
Collections of 'interesting' stones were gradually and stealthily dispersed into the garden - some reappeared but most stayed away.
Old crab shells brought home from the beach were always mysteriously and sadly broken 'they are very delicate, we can always find another one'

In all honesty I never really got on top of it though. DS had a major cull when he moved in with his girlfriend (now his wife) and they came to collect his stuff from his old bedroom and she, God love her, very firmly said 'you're not filling up our house with all that old shit, we'll take it to the tip. And they did.

So you may have to wait a few years to have a real cull

See if there are any local collections for Afghanistan - there was one in my area and as well as going through clothes and gathering up toiletries my nearly four year old found some toys he has finished with. We explained how some children are new to our country and couldn't bring any toys with them after fighting in their country. He really surprised us and said he's finished with a huge toy Bruder crane. It's gone and he's not asked to play with it since!

I had some real success with the following:

Firmly point out that their room is so full of Stuff they haven’t played with half of it because they couldn’t get to it for all the Stuff.

Explain that the room isn’t getting bigger but that Stuff keeps arriving. Therefore some will have to go.

Designate a box and agree that all the cars will now live in here. Get agreement that the box is plenty big enough.

Spread out every single car on the floor so you can see them all. Child can then classify into type- tractors, camper vans, sports cars… once you’ve done that it become obvious that two or three tractors are more than sufficient and it’s fairly easy to decide which three to keep.

Keep reiterating that the box is the only place cars will live, so choose carefully to only fill up with the good stuff.

Repeat until box full and all cars dealt with.

Can’t say as I enjoyed it much but it did seem to help my son decide more easily.

I agree with hamwich method, (and is also a bit Marie Kondo) sort by type and space determines what goes, so they have 6 puzzles, only room for 4 which ones go and which ones stay.

I have never got this keeping ever art/ craft creation, it doesn't happen with Lego models so it isn't happening with cardboard and sticky backed plastic models.

Though as a word of caution, a young ds (ASD) once drew a lovely picture on my wall "so you can't recycle it Mummy"

We had a room known as the departure lounge. Toys woukd go in for a period of time and if the kids noticed something was missing it could be retreived.

They never noticed anything.

We will be moving soon and are currently clearing through 20 + years of clutter. I wish I had not let it get so bad. After numerous trips to the tip and charity shops and selling / giving away, the end is nearly in sight. I need to develop a system to ensure our new home stays clutter free

These are some great ideas, I’m on it! Thanks so much you organised lot

I went through DD’s boxes when she was at nursery or school and would throw things away like party bag tat and broken bits and pieces of whatever.

Toys I would look through and then give DD clear instructions and put ideas in her mind in a way that she would think it was her idea to put them away. Like others, I kept stuff in a cupboard or under the bed for a while before giving them on.

arts & craft had a very short shelf life, unless on display downstairs it would be put away after one months.

For future birthdays or Christmas I would be honest to relatives and suggest to either club together for a larger item, annual pass for an attraction or a day out.

I've just shifted some bin bags of clunky stuff that's been lurking in the garage for 6 months. I know what they do play with (no surprises when my 10 yo dragged out the duplo at the weekend!) but there is stuff that they certainly haven't played with since lockdown #1 and if they didn't play with it when off school for 6 months it needs to move on.

If I involve them it all gets hopelessly sentimental. We still have baby toys that I can't seem to disappear!

There is more than I could ever reasonably store neatly and it's just out of control.

Lots of great tips here!

But my top tip is to be very firm with relatives etc about not buying any toys unless you/the children really want or need something very specific.

The suggestion to suggest theatre tickets or days out instead is a good one.

I always did it together with the kids, getting them to acknowledge when so,etching was too babyish, too broken, a duplicate, or one that another child might get a lot of happiness from.

That seemed to work.

Our problem was that they were both so messy, even with proper storage. They are adults now and still just as messy. Drives me nuts.

I have 5 bags of toys plus a couple of boxes. And if it doesn't fit in those or isn't very loved it'll just disappear. You KNOW which ones your kids really like to play with.

They do like the small toys, isn't it. Half of one bag is enough

DS15..gets his hoarding from me. Whenever I try and have a clear out he always exclaims "Oh I was looking for that for ages"

Er no son, that dummy was leftover from Mums raving days

Thanks for starting this thread. I'm in a similar position.