Ds10 obese

[Cocomumma]

I am now getting really concerned with ds10 weight, which was put on mainly over lockdown.
He has always been slightly bigger for his age usually wearing one size bigger in clothes, so age 9-10 when he was 8 for example, but now age 10 he is wearing either small or medium mens and it's really worrying me.

Before lockdown he was very active and was doing football 4 times a week running around at school and playing after, he is now back at football but the damage has been done and I can see him struggling.
He weighs around 9st 10 and is about 5ft he carries most of his weight around his belly and the rest of him is just solid, for context he is also a twin and his brother is just under 5ft and weighs just over 6st and wears size 12-13 clothes purely just for his height.

I do cook as healthy as I can they both only have sweets once a week and both eat lots of fruit but not much veg without a fight.
I know they say to maintain weight, but I think he needs to lose some to be healthier going forward. So any advice?

I’m in the same boat and feel a bit lost, my son is in and out of hospital a lot so I get food he’s very overweight (99th centile age 11) on a regular basis.

I think when he gets to about 13 he’ll naturally want to lose weight himself and have the cognition to be able to plan a diet himself to do it. Until then I’d say keep doing what you’re doing - healthy cooking . When he chooses to construct a diet himself - emotionally support him 100%. I don’t see this as a long term problem. I bet he’ll be a normal weight teen

I do cook as healthy as I can they both only have sweets once a week and both eat lots of fruit but not much veg without a fight.

It’s usually portion size. And they can drink a lot of calories without you realising - fizzy drinks, juice etc.

What is a usual sort of a day for meals?

What's a usual day food-wise?

You don't want to give him issues about food. No food is necessarily bad. Him losing weight would be a priority for me though to ensure he's healthy. It's difficult.

Are his portion sizes too big? Have you compared to online recommendations, e.g. how much pasta he should have?

I think a lot of it probably is due to portion sizes which I have now cut down on. I mean it is completely my fault and tbh i hardly noticed that he was just grazing on food all day whilst in lockdown through sheer boredom.

He very rarely has fizzy drinks mainly as treat if we go out or to the cinema, again the same with juice.
I've always been conscious of the amount they drink as he also has low calcium on his teeth so they are very sensitive and will rot if I'm not watching the amount of sugar he has so he has mainly water sometimes milk.

Today for breakfast he had one homemade pancake (no sugar) with scrambled egg, a cup of tea again no sugar and an orange on the way to school.
He has school lunch so not sure what they're having today.
Dinner tonight is cod chorizo, new potatoes, green beans and sweetcorn.

How about snacks? If your example day is all he eats in the day then it wouldn’t be too much, but I think for a lot of kids it’s the extras that add up to do the damage.

During the week they rarely snack, sometimes when they come home from school they'll have crackers with dairylea some fruit and maybe crisps, but dinner is usually quite early as we have to be out of the house most days for clubs, so that's when they'll usually have a snack.
I've already cut down on buying biscuits and cakes and all the rubbish stuff that goes in the cupboard.

Sorry I meant have a snack when they come home from clubs in the evening.

In all honesty that doesn't sound like he eats a huge amount. My ds at 10 ate much more than that without being overweight.

Does he walk to and from school?

Unless a health condition which is unusual, excess weight is mostly caused by diet not lack of exercise, although obviously exercise is very beneficial. He has a lot of treats, fizzy drinks etc for a 10 year in the cinema isn’t normal.
As pp says it’s most likely portion sizes. You need to take your child to the GP asap , you need professional help.

Now he isn't eating much, but before he definitely was I've had to cut back completely with him but the weight doesn't seem to be going anywhere.

We do drive to school most of the week as I work on my off days we walk or they ride they're bikes.

At this age their weight really moves around as they stretch. They can look chunky and then two weeks later have grown two inches and be in proportion.

It’s all about diet, really. Exercise is relevant but basically it’s diet you need to look at. If the man of the house eats a lot that’s also a bad sign for sons apparently.

Get a treadmill and make it a fun activity using a chart and stickers and rewards.

A fat child is likely to be taunted by other children and treated differently in society by adults.

Does he have pocket money that he could be spending on extra food?

The last time we went to the cinema was at the beginning of August, that was the last time he had a fizzy drink so I don't really think that is over the top or too much.

We do as a family have a takeaway once a month and of course I'm not going to say I cook everything from scratch everyday, but I do try to have at least 2 vegetables with every meal even if it is burger and chips, which 9x10 I make my own do there isn't much crap in it.

That's the thing and without trying to sound nasty, looks wise he is chunky not fat and wobbly he is absolutely solid!

Does he move much.

My DS put on weight one summer then lost it after 2 weeks of walking to school and back half an hour each way

How long ago did you start to address the weight? It might just be a question of being patient. If football has only just started up again then his fitness will recover fairly quickly - keep the faith!

The main thing is really to be 100% honest with yourself about portion sizes, snacks and treats. And make sure everyone in the house is on board. My DH is the chief culprit for buying ‘treats’, for instance. Things can get undone quite quickly!

How much milk is he having. If he has low calcium i would still give milk several times a day. And possibly instead of a snack.
I have a 9yo and still use the small side plate/kids plate for meals at home.
eg
So say 5-7 chips.
Maybe 3 sausages or 6 nuggets.
Or only pasta that fits on the small plate (though occassionally she is getting some extra after).
Packed lunch 1 wrap an organic bar 1 packet crisps, fruit box, and snack of apple.
They are now having 2 cups of milk a day. And she is having peanut butter on toast as breakfast or 1/2 a wheetabix) the peanut butter has some calcium in.
Snacks are either fruit packs (but not good for teeth) organic, or crisps or fruit (apple/grapes) or nature valley.
My 9yo is 137 and average weight. Dc2 though constantly wants food.

It's been just over a month now that I've started to cut back on snacking and buying rubbish so I'm hoping to start seeing some type of improvement soon.

I will absolutely hold my hands up and say its down to portion control and the fact that we was all eating the same over lockdown and not doing as much exercise.

“Chunky” means nothing though and I genuinely am not being nasty just factual. Your child is not chunky, as you said yourself he is obese. This isn’t something you can both manage alone. As I said you need professional help. It’s great that you have recognised it but instantly minimising things won’t help your ds.

I wouldn’t have crisps in as they won’t give him much nutritionally, though it does sound from the example you’ve said that his diet is mostly home cooked and good. Our DC tend to have fruit if hungry between meals, or I cut up some carrots and cucumber or something. We don’t bother with crisps unless going on a picnic or something.

My dd was overweight at this age. We were seeing the consultant in the hospital about another matter and he advised me not to put her on a diet, but to try to hold her weight constant so she would grow up and out of it. In other words, don't introduce diet foods or change the content of food, but make sure portions don't get absolutely huge, and encourage exercise. This actually worked, eventually, once she got on board with controlling her own body and weight, and she's now a lovely average BMI size, and more importantly, she cooks for herself and knows that if she eats a lot of sweets/extra calories, she will put on weight. This makes it more of a choice. Remember, he will go through a massive growth spurt and hormonal change soon, so may become ravenous, I would go with that but make sure there's plenty of filling healthy snacks.

Also, be honest about what you eat, my kids used to eat way more carbs/really large portion sizes as I was a crap cook and there were a lot of oven chips/potatoes and...coupled with lots of sandwiches, lot of cereal. I've switched to delivered meals (like Hello Fresh) and they are much better for us, and the portions are controlled for you! We still eat carbs, just better ones, and more as part of everything than the main event every time.

I agree with PP about this age getting chunky then growing a couple of inches. They can look all out of proportion for a while.

My Ds sounds very similar to yours, always been ahead in clothes sizes. When he was 10 he was chubby and quite round but solid. He’s hit puberty early and now at nearly 12 is talller than me, size 8 shoe size and has acne. He hasn’t lost weight as such but has grown into himself. He’s got the build of a rugby player, and is incredibly strong.

Stark contrast to his younger brother who is super skinny and lanky.

I would keep going with cooking healthy meals with occasional treats/takeaways/cinema trips, I’m sure he’ll soon balance out weight wise.

@Mariell

Get a treadmill and make it a fun activity using a chart and stickers and rewards.

A fat child is likely to be taunted by other children and treated differently in society by adults.

I’m not sure.

It’s not exactly unusual these days