Who's awake, sat with my elderly mum in A&E

[Luvvies]

Hi not in a worried state but just the long long wait to be seen.
Poor mum has a rectal prolapse, she's 89 and has Alzheimer's although lives alone with a bit of help.
It looks so so uncomfortable. She was triaged at 8.30, so 6 hours ago, we have no clue when a doctor will see her. But she's in a side room now out of the way down the corridor.....
I haven't eaten since 1pm, had one lukewarm coffee.
Anyone else sitting up waiting for something?

Hope Dr can help her OP and she isn’t in pain.

Sometimes the ward/hospital keep clothes, they might have something she can wear. You need to contact adult social services, get a package of care for her. They’re very persuasive and will try and talk your mum around. If she doesn’t have capacity, they’ll ask you what would help, giving medication, meals etc.
Hope you get some sleep, it sounds like it might be better if she stays in hospital for awhile for a full assessment.

They've pushed it back in!
AND my husband answered the phone and is ok to drive!
Someone back a horse for me!

That’s good news, hope all goes well and you get a few hours sleep before work.

We have an annual check with the dementia nurse in a couple of weeks.
Any time we've had any kind of conversation with medics they have asked leading questions like 'so are you managing to cook nice meals for yourself then' and she says yes.
I've had to intervene on several occasions and point this out to them.
She's just told the doctor she eats loads of vegetables. Absolute rubbish. Then she said 'you don't know what I eat luvvies' well yes I do because you write your meals down in your diary so I know exactly what you've had.

That's good new OP. Hope you manage to grab a few hours sleep - you must be exhausted.

I have no knowledge in this area but from reading PP's posts - maybe now you need to push for some more help for mum

Last time we tried to get an assessment with adult social care they wouldn't prioritise her because she had never left the gas on..... It was a 6 month wait and then Covid hit. So we are muddling through. We had a private carer one day a week Pre Covid so may need to look at that again and sort it ourselves.

Doesn't sound like a moan-fest at all: sounds hard and uncomfortable and sad. I wish I could send you a cup of decent coffee with a nice hit of whisky in it, plus some sort of iced bun. (Or whatever kind of buttery thing you like.) Good luck to you and your mum.

Hope you get home safely @Luvvies and good luck to you getting the right help for your Mum.
Awake cos I am a chronic insomniac.

Not a moan fest, even if it was you have reason.

People of a certain age often tell Drs what they think the Dr wants to hear.

Can you borrow some PJ or scrubs from the hospital? Or is DH bringing something with him?

My grandmother had dementia so I've got an idea of the problems, she had carer's coming in several times a day but there came a time it wasn't working eg when the carer arrived to cook her a meal she would say, "Oh just make a sandwich".

Fortunately for my family my grandmother had worked in care homes and said to us when she was very much with it (still working full time) that if she did develop dementia we should find her a care home.

I'm going to open the virtual cafe, ignore the early posts on the thread wf you want to join me.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4093913-The-happy-place-cafe-2-advent-opening?msgid=102211113

If she'll be self funding then just get the private carer back in. It's someone through the door everyday at the very least. The default answer with someone with dementia will always be no but there comes a point where needs outweigh wants. Remember, today is the best she will be.
Do you have POA sorted?
I hope she makes a good recovery.

So very sad for you and your mum to be going through this. My neighbour managed to stay in her home with carers coming in 4 times a day. Then in June last year they got her into a local dementia home, where she is very happy. Good luck with the assessment, unfortunately you have to almost beg for some help.

Gosh, not a moan fest OP. Fellow parent "carer" here. Happy to reminisce on late night hospital visits and convincing HCPs that parent isn't actually as self sufficient as they make out.

I hope your mum is okay. I'm really glad that your husband didn't drink last night. That must've been such an additional worry.

No, not a moan fest at all. Glad you got to see a doctor, what I mean is your mom did.

Men are so inconsiderate, at least he could drive, but its not great that you didn't know he would definitely be there for you.

Hope you get some rest today.

Thank you everyone I got an hours sleep then have been working, and have to travel a couple of hours for work tonight and an early start and long day tomorrow.
I'm pretty good with stamina though so I'll pull through it.
We have pretty much decided to get the private carers back in and do what we can to get the assessment done. DSIL is finding out what the waiting time is etc.
I've messaged her neighbours to tell them not to give her any paracetamol. Horrid to go behind her back but she would possibly ask them and end up OD'ing due to having no clue what she's taken.

Yes we do have POA sorted for both medical and financial.

Husband drinking. I was gobsmacked. He's not a bad chap but is literally drunk a third to a half a bottle of brandy every single night. Three weeks ago he was told his liver had extremely significant results, physical changes and blood tests and also is having a bone marrow biopsy this week. Of course he was told to halve his drinking. But I cannot see any difference until last night (I've been taking photos of the bottles, he doesn't even hide it)

He won't talk about it. He's also on huge doses of codeine, naproxen and paracetamol for the last 12 years.

Madness.

You seem very strong and to have sorted stuff. Very inspirational to be honest. I wasn't in a great place last night, but your spirit inspired me to kick my own butt into gear.

Sending you lots of good energy.

Aw battling yes I am strong but also very good at not addressing difficult things, just let the fester and 'crack on' which is not supposed to be great huh?

Anyway, about to jump on a train, furiously attack my laptop for a while then a night in a travelodge whoop whoop living the life.

BTW I know many people would love to be able to get away for a night. I'm very lucky.

Well, like you said just the travelogue, not much fun there.

You know, sometimes it can be a good thing to leave things, not always the best option to jump.on stuff right away. Have a good night.