Just home after visiting my parents. DH and I are just back from a short break, DM had said she and DF would put our bins out. They also, as it turns out, did a bit of gardening while we were gone. I'd bought them a small gift as a thank you so I took it over today. They live about 15 mins drive away.
My arse had barely touched the sofa when my mother launched into a long tirade about not having a spare house key. Wanting to know why they weren't given one (we moved in in December) and telling me that DF (who has cancer) could have needed the toilet. Trying to guilt trip me basically.
I wouldn't mind giving them a spare key for emergencies or if one of them needed the toilet etc when they were doing stuff (I hadn't known they'd be gardening) if I was gone but I've had issues previously when I lived in my old flat where they overstepped boundaries. Namely, letting themselves into my flat while I was at work and putting stuff there that I hadn't asked for. The first time it was a couple of items of furniture that my mother had casually asked if I'd be interested in several weeks beforehand but I hadn't said yes, suddenly they had appeared in my flat. And the second time it was two large items of unwanted furniture that a family member's friend was getting rid of. Just dumped in my living room with no word, the first I knew of it was when I walked in there. So I was pissed off at having my privacy and boundaries shat over. It's like she still sees me as a kid needing "guidance". The furniture incidents happened years ago when I was single but now I'm married and until now they have been quite good at giving me space but now she's at it again wanting a damn key.
My mother is also a hoarder (in complete denial but my old bedroom is full of stuff as is the hallway) and has a tendency to "offer" me items she's bought or found in the house. I've had to be firm and tell her I don't want things. I have a feeling if I gave her a key I'd start finding items turning up unexpectedly, also that she'd notice if certain things had gone missing from here (given to charity etc) and want to know why I'd gotten rid of this and that.
It's exhausting having to deal with this kind of thing. I love my parents but my mother can be so trying.