First week in reception

[Anxiousmummy88]

Hi all, I am usually a silent reader here... and have been on here since my son was born. He is 4 now and started reception last week.
He goes to school in a small village and we are one of only 3 Asians in the school. Last week he came home upset as he said a couple of the boys had said they didn't want to play with him as he had black hair and they had yellow. He also said the same boys had told him to stop following them.
I told him to go in and tell them it doesn't matter what they think of his hair because he loves it... when he did this he also told the teacher how he felt. Since this he has told me that the boys are fine now and they are being kind...
I need to know is this usual reception behaviour or am I overthinking that my son is being excluded?

I would say it’s unusual behaviour. I’ve not heard a young kid not want to play with someone because of their hair colour.

Did you mention this to the teacher? Don’t be shy, if there’s a problem report it.

I did report it. She said she would keep an eye on it but didn't notice anything herself. He has been to preschool with most of these children and also has one of these boys parties tomorrow and he is adamant on going. So I am going to take him and observe the situation.

I have told him not to play with children that are horrible to him - but he says that once he told them and told the teacher they are kind to him now but I can't help but think he is running around after them wanting to be their friends. I was bullied at school quite badly which has given me all sorts of anxiety in adulthood and I really do not want the same for him

Totally understandable, it’s great he was happy to tell you and feels like the situation has been resolved. Maybe praise him for telling you so if it happens again he’ll tell you again.

I think this sounds unusual too. Never heard kids talking about each others hair at that age. However the friendship thing probably is normal. I think at that age friendships can be fickle, they are not great at including children who might be on the fringes of social groups etc.

Is the school in a diverse area, or not really.

I think observing and keeping an eye on the situation is good for now.

No the area is not very diverse.
I am trying to think of the positives and that it wasn't his skin colour that was mentioned and just his hair colour and trying to convince myself that they had noticed they were both blonde haired boys and his hair colour was different.
I know the parents of one of the boys and know that they wouldn't encourage this behaviour. However my mind is going into overload... although he has only been there 1 week so far.
The teacher was very forthcoming in stating that there are no racial prejudices at this age and it is probably the same as only people with a red top can play with me.
I will be keeping an eye on it but I am conscious about asking my son too much as I do not want to create a situation for him and make him overthink it

Bless his little heart.

Kids say all sorts of odd things though. I remember one little boy saying someone wouldn't play with him saying, "Because you've got stupid shoes". His shoes were no different to anyone else's.

I'm sure he will be all right and he certainly had the right answer about his hair.