My marriage is over. How do I cope

[ladybird1980]

My relationship is over. I genuinely don't know what to do.

One minute, one hour, one day at a time, but you will get through this. Be kind to yourself and reach out for support if you need it.

Treat yourself to:
a spa day
days out
Fun things with friends and family
Self care
Get a new hobby
Cakes and chocolate
Watch funny movies mretauls therapy
Or
Some people find sad movies and sad songs help to cry it out

Do NOT
READ over past texts
Look at photographs
Agree to meet up with the ex - it will set you back moving on
Drown your sorrows with alcohol - it's a slippery slope

I know it hurts now feels like an actual death but it isn't OP And you WILL GET THROUGH THIS

mretauls therapy I meant retail

I feel. Like my life is over

It's not over !

Honestly it's truly not !

Have you got friends or family you can speak with?

Would speaking with a GP help ?

I've wasted 24 years on a loveless, sexless marriage. We have a small child.
I'd been asking about having anther child for 5 years and got totally ignored everytime. Now I'm too old, it's too late for me. Plus now I have no Marriage.
I want him.to leave but he can't because he's got to self isolate due to not being fully vaccinated

I feel. Like a failure.

People aspired to have what I've got, but they don't know its a sham.

I seriously feel like I don't know what to do, how can I get through this

By remembering it was a loveless, sexless marriage.
Think of every time you've felt lonely or unhappy during the relationship, and bring those thoughts to mind if you start to weaken

I just feel like I'm literally good for nothing. Such a failure. I feel Worthless.
I've wasted my whole life with this man.

Do you love him?
Can you picture a carefree life without all the stress and strain of a sham weighing you down?

YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS

A successful marriage doesn't make someone worthy

You have a new chapter ahead of you where you can enjoy your child and find out who you are without a husband

The thin about bad marriages is they can grind you down to the point that you feel there is nothing left to you when they end - like "this was all I had and now that's gone too".

It's a lie.

You WILL bounce back. There's a whole pile of feeling crap to wade through first, but think of it like dragging yourself to the edge of a filthy suffocating pond that you've been stuck in for ages - you have to wade through all that yuck before you can haul yourself over the edge, clean up, and start to feel better. Hang in there

Give yourself time to grieve and feel sad about not being with the right person for you. Once you're both living seperate lives you will feel so much happier and lighter once you pass the grieving process of it all.

You will adjust and you will get on and have a much more enjoyable life.

Soon you'll feel happier and a huge sense of relief.

Reach out to the people closest to you. Tell them what you are going through. You need support to help you through this

You will get through it for your DC and for yourself
You may have wasted some years on this man but you have your dc and you still have many many years ahead of you. So much can change in just a small amount of time.

Been there,give yourself time to grieve, knowing that you really will be ok ,one day at a time ,take good care of you

Keep your mind busy and distracted. When I went through a rotten time I took up crocheting. I couldn’t dwell on my shit and count rows at the same time. I made blankets for friends and small hats for the local PICU. It kept me sane.

You will get through this.

You life STaRTs now and it won’t be all daisy chains and hearts but you can create the home life you want with your child that is full of love unlike your marriage, you can build connections with family and friends. Being in a loveless sexless marriage means you have practically been a single parent anyway love yourself and your child, get a good lawyer

He's dragged me down and made sure I'll never fulfill my dream of having another child

There are two sides to this question - practical and emotional.

You're really hurting now. Respect that, but hold in your heart that people get over terrible hurt and become happy again. Just try to have faith that one day, that could be you. You can't rush it, but try to believe in it.

On the practical side - will you be ok with housing, money, childcare?

Yes, I've got money and housing

I can pay for before and after school club etc

If you don't love each other, isn't it a good thing that you haven't wasted any more time on it?
Also, it's not wasted, you have a child.

Thanks but I feel like my heart has been ripped out. Hopefully the feelings will pass