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Original poster

Register office wedding with 2 witnesses

59 replies

staffieslobber · 10/09/2021 21:51

No guests, no music, no readings etc.

Anyone had one? What was it like? Do you regret it (the wedding, not the marriage!)?

Did you wear a wedding dress? Exchange rings? Get photos? Do any of the traditional stuff? And did you take your husband's name? (I had kind of planned to, purely because his is nicer and goes better with our daughter's name (she has my surname currently) but now I can't decide Confused)

OP posts:
Mybobowler · 11/09/2021 07:10

We're doing this!

Close relatives to witness, I'll be wearing an ivory dress but it's not a traditional wedding dress and he'll be in chinos and a nice shirt. We will exchange rings as they're important to me and I might have a small posy of flowers. No photographer, but I'm going to get my hair done properly. Going out for dinner afterwards and that'll be it!

We've agonised for years over this decision and I couldn't be happier that we're doing it, I'm so excited. It'll be meaningful and memorable, regardless of the size.

Good luck and congratulations if you go for it!

lachy · 11/09/2021 07:23

Not me, but a close relative. They had been together for years, had two children. Went on holiday with their friends and got married. There was just the 4 adults and children and they didn't tell a soul until after they were married.

They had an amazing day, it was just what
they wanted and that's what matters.

Holzawolza · 11/09/2021 07:29

Yes! We loved it, no regrets.

I proposed whilst in bed.

No guests just two close friends as witnesses. No music. No readings apart from the standard script.

Exchanged rings yes, it was never presented to us that we couldn’t do this.

I wore a casual dress and DH a casual suit.

Got photos but not many.

Husband took my surname and was happy to do so.

Went to the chippy afterwards

Interested in this thread?

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Weddings
CornishTiger · 11/09/2021 07:42

@Kintsugi16

I absolutely, could not have got married without any of our living parents present.
@Kintsugi16 and there are a lot of people who probably don’t get married because of parents.
MaryBoBary · 11/09/2021 07:44

My family situation is so awkward that we are going to elope. I don't want my wedding day to be spent worrying about a family argument, or feeling that I have to have people there that I don't even like. We have hinted in the past that this is how we will do it. I know some family members aren't keen but I don't care. It's about me and OH and our son, no one else. I'd like to go back to the city that we met to get married. Miles from anyone we know!!

Original poster
staffieslobber · 11/09/2021 07:44

Aw, great to hear such lovely stories Smile

Those that asked about family - I think we'd probably have our mums as witnesses. The council website says 2 adult witnesses which is a shame as baby DD couldn't be there, but I guess my dad could play with her while they wait.

OP posts:
BikeRunSki · 11/09/2021 07:46

Two couples I know did this.
One couple rocked up in motorbike leathers, got some witnesses from the car park, then rode off to tell their families elsewhere in the country. She kept her name.

The other couple were all dressed up, albeit the bride’s ivory dress came from H&M! They each had a friend as a witness, and their dc (who were about 5 and 9 at the time). They took the kids to lunch at M&S next door, and met their parents for afternoon tea in a hotel - their parents thought the tea was for his 40th birthday. She was already using his surname. This couple were actually planning a big “do” but got fed up with it all and cancelled it (lost deposits etc) They chose the register office that had the earliest available late morning Saturday slot.

Both had rings, low key background music. 2nd couple had their dd (4) as a flower girl.

Nearlyme · 11/09/2021 07:48

Dd could be there she just can't be a witness.

Agree about choosing a nice registry office, you can still have music and a bouquet. Biggest problem is if you start telling people

SilverGlassHare · 11/09/2021 07:53

We did this - we picked two random people in the registry office as witnesses (who were there filling out documentation for their own up and coming wedding). I had a nice dress, he had a nice suit, it was lovely.

Brownlongearedbat · 11/09/2021 07:58

We did, the reason being we had already been together for 25 years, we are getting on a bit so all our parents are dead and we just didn't want a fuss. We had two close friends as witnesses, we wore 'smart casual', no music. We all took pics and the registrar took some for us as well. In and out in 20 minutes and off to a long and boozy lunch. All very enjoyable and stress free (and cheap).

HarrisMcCoo · 11/09/2021 08:01

Yes. No regrets. Still married almost 15 years later.

Brownlongearedbat · 11/09/2021 08:03

Just to add - I have a wedding ring, my h doesn't like wearing rings, so he doesn't. I kept my own name, I'm too old to change it now and I think changing names is very old hat anyway.

Seeyouontheflipside · 11/09/2021 08:04

We did 5 years ago, asked one set of parents and kept it a secret until we had enjoyed our day with noone else ruining it, best decision we ever made but be prepared for backlash if you have difficult families. We just exchanged rings, went to a fancy restaurant for an amazing afternoon of eating and drinking with parents. I wore a dress which was much prettier than a wedding dress IMO, we had a great time,
We wanted the marriage not just the wedding day. All our friends were happy for us but difficult family members still don't talk to us and we are ok with that.

MotherWol · 11/09/2021 08:09

This is the kind of wedding I want - DP and I have been together nearly 20 years, just had our second child, and just want a quiet wedding without all the fuss. Blatant place marking for ideas!

AuntieMarys · 11/09/2021 08:09

We got married in another country just the 2 of us and a random witness. Best thing we ever did.

SeriouslyISuppose · 11/09/2021 08:10

We did it. Islington Town Hall. Brought two friends who were between jobs as witnesses — we got an unexpected cancellation at almost no notice, so it needed to be people available at very short notice in the middle of the day, the register office won’t provide staff to witness, and I’ve seen enough people trying to ask passersby to know it’s actually pretty stressful. (A later job used to take me past a town hall in a different city, and I often got asked and had to refuse.)

I wore a green sundress, DH wore jeans, no music, no rings, no photos (or I think there might be one!), and we went for tapas and champagne with our witnesses afterwards. It was lovely and low-key, and it’s never occurred to me to regret it.

And no, absolutely not to taking DH’s (nicer than mine) name. I can’t fathom why anyone would do something so reactionary in 2021. My name is my name. DS has both our surnames.

Mybobowler · 11/09/2021 08:12

@staffieslobber we're taking our two year old into our ceremomy. Registrar said they would allow "babes in arms and very young children". Definitely worth asking, there is some discretion. A neighbouring council we also enquired with wouldn't have allowed her in, which was a deal breaker - we really want her there with us.

SeriouslyISuppose · 11/09/2021 08:14

Oh, and no family backlash. We didn’t actually tell anyone for years as we had a lot going on in our lives at the time — moved countries twice and had a baby — and were extremely clear then that this was the only way we were ever going to get married, so there had never been going to be some church and hotel extravaganza with 200 cousins in fascinator that people were missing out on. I loathe that kind of thing.

CentrifugalBumblePuppy · 11/09/2021 08:18

We did! Just the two of us & our 2 adult children as witnesses. I wore my favourite band T-shirt, jeans & Converse, he wore his favourite nerd T-shirt & jeans, we exchanged rings, it was awesome. After being together for 23 years we didn’t want a big, expensive extravaganza, so this was perfect.

Afterwards, I did a running buffet in the garden, with friends & family popping in, bit of cake, lots of tea & the odd glass of champagne, it was a day filed with laughter (we have an awesome photo of our Registrar bent double laughing), it was brilliant!

It was so casual that my son bailed after lunch to go back to Uni for a show as part of his finals, family & friends came & went, there was no formality just lots of unforced fun.

The only presents we got were from my twin sister & partner, and they were recycled from her first wedding 😂

I’m biased, but it was the best wedding I’ve ever been to! No expensive dressing up for us or guests, we took 1 day off work, probably cost us around £300 including fees, but most of that was on cheese lol!

CentrifugalBumblePuppy · 11/09/2021 08:24

No family backlash (well, my Mum had a bit of a grumble) but once we explained we didn’t expect any money or presents, she didn’t have the stress of helping wedding organising and that her new son in law would pick her up from work for food & cake, she was fine!

Although my sis & Mum both insisted on seeing the marriage certificate in case we were joking about actually doing it!

MintToBee · 11/09/2021 08:24

We did. Got married in the Higlands by the side of a river with two witnesses from Mumsnet.
Got ready in the van and did wear a dress.
It was amazing.

Original poster
staffieslobber · 11/09/2021 08:24

@Mybobowler oh that's interesting, thanks. She still breastfeeds so I thought I could maybe try that as an excuse to squeeze her in (she's one though so it's a bit of a stretch to say she couldn't go 20 minutes without 😂).

OP posts:
MsWalterMitty · 11/09/2021 08:39

We did this too.

I wore jeans and top and my husband wore jeans and shirt. Our 2 small children were present and we had 2 maintenance men from the registry building as our witnesses....... they’ve done it a few times apparently.

No rings or music etc. In and out within half an hour and cost us £150

MsWalterMitty · 11/09/2021 08:40

[quote staffieslobber]@Mybobowler oh that's interesting, thanks. She still breastfeeds so I thought I could maybe try that as an excuse to squeeze her in (she's one though so it's a bit of a stretch to say she couldn't go 20 minutes without 😂).[/quote]
My 1yr old was in my arms throughout the whole ceremony and my 5 yr old sat reading a book... he thought he’d get bored 🤣

borntobequiet · 11/09/2021 08:44

DS and DDIL did this, two friends as witnesses and their toddlers playing happily in the room, pub lunch afterwards. They didn’t want a fuss and there was the possibility her family might try to hijack it (I think).
I was greatly relieved as I’m not a fan of weddings generally, especially elaborate ones.