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DD (8) crying because unhappy at school

5 replies

Boysofsummerhavegone · 09/09/2021 22:23

Nc for this but a regular…

DD aged 8 has been back at school for a week now. Unfortunately, her school re-mixes the classes each year, and this year she has ended up with no close friends with her in her class (there was meant to be one girl, but unfortunately the family relocated at short notice during the holidays). She’s an only child and has had a lonely, bad time during the lockdowns where she missed friends desperately.

DD is sensitive and a bit temperamental. She’s also (not bragging but it adds additional detail) graded at greater depth in all subjects, but has been really bored at school during the whole recovery period last term, because she’s had to sit while the whole class recaps a lot of maths and literacy that she knows very well. (Her last teacher was very complimentary about how well she had done helping other children and being very patient while a lot of the “recovery curriculum” went over past topics.) DD was really looking forward to new learning this year.

She has been slogging away at it this week so far, but has been quiet and sad after school each evening, and said they’re now recapping topics again from two years ago, and has said to me she’s learned nothing new all week and is very despondent about it.

Tonight she got very very upset and cried herself to sleep, saying she’s very very unhappy at school, she hasn’t got any friends in her class (she’s been sat on a table with two boys she doesn’t know who are a bit “naughty”); and she’s really really bored and sad. She says she used to love school, and now doesn’t want to go in and feels it’s all pointless.

I appreciate they need to recap some topics, but she basically says she hasn’t learned anything new since before lockdown. I’ve broached this with teachers before and her previous teacher was quite good about giving her additional depth work, but I’m also aware the school have changed their differentiation policy so that they now do less greater depth work in order to focus on Covid recovery. She says she’s asked twice this week for more depth work when she’s finished what she’s been given, and been told just to sit and wait until the next lesson.

Any advice on what I could do would help! She really wants to be in the “other class” with all her friends— though I think some more stretching work, and being sat with different children that she knows a bit better, might make a lot of difference.

It’s awful to see a child who two years ago could hardly wait to get to school in the morning because she loved it so much, now weeping and saying she’s so unhappy and sad she doesn’t want to go at all.

Do any teachers have any advice on what might help, please? Or anyone who’s experienced similar with their DC? I don’t want to be “that” parent, but would the teachers (there are two as it’s a jobshare) want to know that she’s so unhappy?

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 09/09/2021 22:27

I would definitely speak to the teachers and tell them how she's feeling. They need to at least know how she's feeling and why. Then they can come up with a solution

Jenster03 · 09/09/2021 22:30

Of course they'd want to know.
Speak to the teacher, that's really all you can do.

NailsNeedDoing · 09/09/2021 22:34

The teachers would definitely want to know that she’s unhappy.

It’s still very early in the term and it’s not unusual for children to forget things over the summer, so it’s normal that they would recap things on the first week back. You need to give the new teachers a little more time to get to know your dd so they can work out appropriate extensions for her, and they will be learning new things as the term goes on anyway. Also remember that school isn’t about constantly learning new things, there needs to be time to get better at using the things they have learned and to apply them consistently.

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stayathomer · 09/09/2021 22:35

Two years ago my ds was miserable. He's very quiet, and was in a class of sporty boys and also girls that weren't interested in mixing with him. We talked to the teacher, she changed seating, played loads of group games to get the all loser. There's been a huge difference (not perfect but he's happy to go in). Speak to the teacher, and if a big change is required like her moving class, hopefully the teachers will know how to do it with least fuss

Boysofsummerhavegone · 09/09/2021 23:26

Thank you everyone! I’ll ask to set up an appointment with the teacher tomorrow. I hope that it will be possible to do some things to help - she’s already had a really hard time at school last year when a lot of the interesting subjects, lessons and clubs she liked were of course stopped because of Covid. It’s such a terrible shame that she’s completely lost her great enthusiasm for school - she used to absolutely love it, and missed it terribly during lockdown.

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