Why is our women’s group leader such a horrid woman?

[Ohgodihatemywi]

Is this just my group. Woman who is the leader since losing her husband has turned into a horrible person, sending awful emails, abusive and nasty. She was quite bad and a bit of a dictator before that. We’ve almost no committee because no one wants to work with her. Love all my friends there and the groups I belong too.

Is there anything that can be done ?

Start a new group without her?

I agree, start a new group and exclude her from it!

Can you refuse someone joining?

Of course you can. Obviously theres something going on for her but at the same time you dont have to be abused.

I’m in my thirties with 4 kids. I’m not sure I could cope with starting up another one which is why I was hoping to see if something could be done but maybe some others members might be keen.

Personally I would not start messaging behind people’s backs to drum up support as that will be remembered and you may be deemed as being sly.

I would make a public post and address your concerns about so and so being in charge and there being lots of unpleasantness and bring it out into the open/

The accepted wisdom seems to be that women's groups only last a few years before having to disband or reconfigure.. That aside, she sounds awful and it might be worth just starting again without her

You don't have to be the sole leader, why not contact the other ladies and see if you could "pool" leadership, alternate with others 'in the chair' or do whatever suits you best? Or just suggest meeting up for a drink/meal/walk to begin with?

You might find someone amongst you who is keen to take a more leading role but is waiting to be approached or to see what others think.

It's a shame for whatever is happening to this lady but it sounds like she was a bit of a nightmare to start with anyway. Being a member of a group shouldn't mean that you are a pool of soft-targets for unpleasantries and abuse.

I hope you and your friends able to set up something a bit happier for yourselves to enjoy that doesn't involve abuse and vitriol. Best wishes to you.

Call in Jackie Weaver

Sorry for my stupidity, but I’m unsure what a women’s group is but could you join another one?

Could you not ask them, if the stress of the group is too much during their grief, as clearly it is not bringing them joy and ask if they want to step back for a while?

Do you respond to her when what she says is inappropriate?

I don’t know what a “women’s group” is but surely in any group you can just respond expressing your concerns? What have you got to lose?

By your username can we assume it's the WI? If so, you can't just start up another WI in the same area, but you can setup a 'not WI' group.

If it’s the WI I would imagine they have ways of dealing with it…

@5zeds

If it’s the WI I would imagine they have ways of dealing with it…

Yes it’s the WI. About 6 years ago I asked them about their anti bullying policy. At the time what they offered me was not in my opinion (and as a teacher knowing about such things) not worth the paper it was written on. Basically said everyone should be nice to each other and was no more than three sentences long. At that point I distanced myself from our President but I made lots of nice friends and do things which the President doesn’t participate in so don’t often come across her.

Can you not ask your federation or your wi advisor for guidance on how to deal with it? If you explain it might cause your wi to collapse they might take it seriously.

When is your annual meeting - surely if this woman is being awful to everyone they won't vote her in for another term? My WI has a 3 year limit on the three officer roles as we had a difficult president and it highlighted the need to ensure we don't get stuck with someone awful for a long time.
Our then secretary made a comment about her behaviour at a committee meeting and she pretty much blanked her for the remaining committee meetings until she stepped down.