Three reliable signs of autism in girls

[Yummypancake]

I saw a video (just came up suggested on Facebook) where someone stated that these three signs of autism in girls are very reliable

1. Doesn’t like close contact/hugs
2. Likes/relies on routine
3. Suffers with too much social stimulation at for instance school and is completely exhausted afterwards and needs quiet time to decompress

I found this really interesting as they apply quite a lot to me. Have others heard of these signs before, how reliable do you think they are?

As the mum of an autistic girl, I'd say nope, nope and nope, especially when she was younger. She's 17 now and wasn't diagnosed until 14 because there were no 'reliable signs'. She never had a problem with people touching her when she was younger. Even now she's quite affectionate, but on her terms. She doesn't like people hugging her without prior approval, but she'll come and sit on my knee if she's feeling that way.
She's never had a specific routine that she needs to follow. She likes to know things in advance and struggles with things being spontaneous, but she's never needed a routine anymore so than anyone else.
Yes, she has social problems and couldn't cope with being at school, spends very little time with us as a family and hates large gatherings. She can't communicate verbally with people she doesn't know, due to social anxiety. She was fine at primary school though. She was 'shy' but she had friends, never had tantrums or meltdowns and didn't particularly need time on her own to recover from school. She'd happily come home and play with her sisters. It was only when she hit high school that her issues became apparent, as her peers developed an independence that she didn't.

I'm autistic and autism is way more varied, complex and nuanced than this. You can't reduce it to three signs, it's not a broken leg with a list of tick box signs and symptoms.

There’s far, far more of it than that! Remember anyone can make a tiktok video, it doesn’t have to be true!

That is way to simple and self identification is and I quote an actually autistic female human:

Something NTs do when they want to feel special!

Normal innit ?
Honestly I’m NT I’m sure but I like a routine , am uncomfortable with hugs other than from 1st degree relies and I can barely speak after work ( horrendous stressy job ) - it’s food then blanket fort in bed with my puppy and tv if have the energy

I’m autistic, and before retiring was part of a diagnostic team. This is nonsense. Autism is a neurodevelopmental difference. Those of us living with it sometimes find life bloody hard and trivialising on tic tic pisses me off.

It's click-bait. As the saying goes, if you've met one person with autism, you've met one person with autism.

Not true for my DD who is autistic.

She loves cuddles and loved school, she always came out looking forward to seeing her friends the next day.

This is a better list:

taniaannmarshall.wordpress.com/2013/03/26/moving-towards-a-female-profile-the-unique-characteristics-abilities-and-talents-of-asperwomen-adult-women-with-asperger-syndrome/

My DD struggles with strict routine as she has a PDA profile. Her main issues seem to be being very sensitive to sensory input, needing to be in control to feel safe and needing a lot of down time after socialising. We tread a very careful line between a safe structure where she knows exactly what is expected of her, and giving her the ability to have control over her own life. Very tricky. Primary schools didn’t get it at all and timetabled her to death. Luckily secondary is brilliant at it as they treat her as an individual.

I have also been diagnosed with HFA amd agree with other autistic people who have posted on here.

It's offensive to assume autism could be diagnosed or assumed from 3 basic features.

It's far more complex than that and affects my whole life daily. It's unbearable at times and if I had the option to just walk out of life I would.

To reduce it to 'likes routine, doesn't like hugs and social situations can be a bit much' is a joke.

Some girls with autism might have those characteristics but my daughters don’t.

My 9 yo dd is autistic and would completely meltdown after school as all the tension that built up throughout the day needed to be released. She's at a more appropriate school now and this happens less often thankfully.
She loves hugs though (unless in meltdown) and deep pressure calms her. She also needs her routine very much and doesn't like it if it changes. There's a multitude of other things she struggles with as well though, such as sensory issues, social understanding and stims, so while those 3 things are common in ASD, the 3 alone would not lead to diagnosis. I practically wrote an essay about my dd's behaviour, which I presented to the psychologist at our first appointment. After her second appointment we were given her diagnosis. (Took 5 years to get to the point of seeing a psychologist though!)

I clicked post too soon.

I’m actually angry that this kind of stuff is posted online, suddenly everyone is an expert on diagnosing autism and it doesn’t help when you are struggling with a child and these experts tell you you’re wrong.

Sounds like a lot of teens.
When mine get home from school they both sit in a room on their own with some gaming or internet. I don't think it's social stimulation, just knackered from learning

They rarely hug me

They are happiest with routines like dinner at a fixed time, the after school routine of gaming/internet while having a drink and snack.

In fact this crap is the equivalent to people assuming autistic boys are like Rainman

I have an autistic DD. One of her traits is that she is over familiar with people and call them her friends when the truth is that she is isolated by her peers. She is very cuddly with me though.

@AlfonsoTheMango

Those three signs would also apply to boys and neurotypicals.

Autistic traits can vary between people and girls can display differently to boys and not always be as obvious as it would display in a boy.

There is so much more to my autism than that. Sure signed have not much to do with the traits and more to do with the diagnostic criteria. The internet has given a voice to everyone, but we need to be aware that while people think their opinion is the only one, its not.

Oh, and I absolutely love close contact and hugs with certain people, so that's no sure sign.

One of my sisters has ASD and is the opposite - very tactile, loves hugs, not overly organised or routine-driven, very social.

There are no "3 reliable signs" of autism. ASD can present differently in different people (though there are issues with the current guidelines being overly based on men). Potential differential diagnoses need to be considered. It is a tricky diagnosis to make.

Still isn’t it lovely that a complex neurological condition can be broken down into three traits, despite many girls not being diagnosed because it presents differently in women and girls.

If only I had known, I wouldn’t have bothered travelling so many miles on several occasions to be assessed

When DD started school I remember we as parents were advised that it was really normal for (all of) the children to feel exhausted after school and need downtime.

I must be in the autistic spectrum then.