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Original poster

Is it risky to marry him?

36 replies

Whattheschitt · 09/09/2021 09:19

Me and my fiancé are due to be married next year. We are both mid twenties with no children and will not have children in the future. He earns slightly more than me (3k a year) however i own the house we live in outright. The house is currently solely in my name.

I don't have anyone in my day to day life to give me practical advice. If i asked someone this they would scold me for being so unromantic.

I love my partner dearly, our plans, morals, wants and dreams are perfectly aligned and we get on great. I am not an idiot though and know things change.

My worry is my house, i couldn't afford a mortgage in the future or to have to give him any etc (my earning potential is limited due to disabilities I can't work full time).

Would you get married or am i being an idiot?

OP posts:
gnarlyauldboiler · 09/09/2021 09:23

You should really consult a solicitor regarding your house to see if it can be protected in the event of a divorce. You don't want to be left without a roof over your head, particularly if you have limited earning potential.

vinoandbrie · 09/09/2021 09:24

I’d hold off for now, especially as you are not having children. Marriage will always be there as an option next year or in five years, it’s not going away. You’re relatively young and there is no rush to marry.

With the mismatched financial situation you’re in, and with your future earnings potential as described, I wouldn’t do it, or at least not yet, not until you’ve had more years together.

I don’t mean to be horrible, I just am looking at this and going ‘what’s safest for you?’ I don’t mean to cast aspersions on your partner.

inmyslippers · 09/09/2021 09:26

Book in with a solicitor. It's good to plan for bad times while you're both on better terms

TiredButDancing · 09/09/2021 09:27

Go see a lawyer. According to MN, him just living in your house is a risk so I'm not sure that marriage is the issue. If you want to protect your asset, a lawyer is the way to do it.

Dragongirl10 · 09/09/2021 09:28

Once you marry the starting point for divorce assets is 50/ 50 so yes you would have to sell your house or buy him out.

Go and see a solicitor and find out how to legally tie this up in a suitable way that you are happy with or don't marry.

Howshouldibehave · 09/09/2021 09:31

If i asked someone this they would scold me

?! Sounds like the people you would be talking to are arses!

This is a huge issue and one to be properly considered in advance. What have you and he discussed about it?

gordongrumpy · 09/09/2021 09:33

No. Marriage is a financial contract, any other frills etc is romantic nonsense. If you're religious, have the religious blessing etc, but the legal bit is just that- a contract about money, and ownership. Don't do it.

Original poster
Whattheschitt · 09/09/2021 09:35

@Howshouldibehave

If i asked someone this they would scold me

?! Sounds like the people you would be talking to are arses!

This is a huge issue and one to be properly considered in advance. What have you and he discussed about it?

When we discuss it he always says he would never go after anything in the house or for the house as he knows how i got the house etc (money from my dad). What he says he would do now whilst we are all sunshine and rainbows i take with a pinch of salt though.
OP posts:
Original poster
Whattheschitt · 09/09/2021 09:35

Thank you for all the advice. I definitely agree a trip to the lawyer is needed to see what i can do to protect myself.

OP posts:
FatAnkles · 09/09/2021 09:36

Someone I used to know managed to "ring-fence" her house so that should she split with her DH she would keep it. I don't know the details though.

Original poster
Whattheschitt · 09/09/2021 09:36

@FatAnkles

Someone I used to know managed to "ring-fence" her house so that should she split with her DH she would keep it. I don't know the details though.
That's what I'd like to try to do. Glad to know it can happen though.
OP posts:
MazzleDazzle · 09/09/2021 09:36

No, I wouldn’t marry him in your circumstances. If you divorce further down the line he’ll be entitled to have your house.

Woodswoman · 09/09/2021 09:38

Yep, they all say that at the beginning. See a solicitor (a good one) and get yourself protected. If the money/house came from your dad, think about what he would have wanted.

Original poster
Whattheschitt · 09/09/2021 09:38

@Woodswoman

Yep, they all say that at the beginning. See a solicitor (a good one) and get yourself protected. If the money/house came from your dad, think about what he would have wanted.
Agreed. Thank you for the advice its much appreciated.
OP posts:
user1019273703 · 09/09/2021 09:39

Protect yourself, I didn't and had to give him part of the house sale, a house that I alone paid the deposit and mortgage for.

BuffySummersReportingforSanity · 09/09/2021 09:39

@Dragongirl10

Once you marry the starting point for divorce assets is 50/ 50 so yes you would have to sell your house or buy him out.

Go and see a solicitor and find out how to legally tie this up in a suitable way that you are happy with or don't marry.

As I understand it, it depends on the circumstances - the length of the marriage, whether an asset was acquired pre or post marriage, whether DC need housed etc. In the case of a short (
Clymene · 09/09/2021 09:39

I wouldn't if you're not having children. You will have all the risk

PicsInRed · 09/09/2021 09:41

however i own the house we live in outright. The house is currently solely in my name.

Don't marry.

Would you get married

No. Divorce is largely based on needs so even a pre nuptial can be broken. Nothing is 100%.

or am i being an idiot?

Kindly, yes.

RandomMess · 09/09/2021 09:46

Get your partner to look at buying his own place even as BTL - something he can invest in himself.

Whether you marry or not at least he should eventually own his own place too?

idontlikealdi · 09/09/2021 09:47

Yes I would want to ring fence my property, as long as he is happy with that and if he claims he wouldn't go after your assets then he / she should have no issue with it.

When we bought our first house DH put in 150k more than me, we weren't married at the time but we did have something drawn up by a solicitor, I can't remember what it was called now, that meant in the event of a break up and sale he would get his initial stake back.

Mariell · 09/09/2021 09:57

Being practical and protecting yourself trumps being romantic.

Original poster
Whattheschitt · 09/09/2021 10:08

@RandomMess

Get your partner to look at buying his own place even as BTL - something he can invest in himself.

Whether you marry or not at least he should eventually own his own place too?

He does own his own property with his brother that they rent out. It was left to him when his mother passed.
OP posts:
Original poster
Whattheschitt · 09/09/2021 10:13

@Mariell

Being practical and protecting yourself trumps being romantic.
100% agreed.
OP posts:
Pikamoo · 09/09/2021 10:15

How does the value of his property compare to yours?

Pikamoo · 09/09/2021 10:16

I'd suggest to him that he buys his brother out or alternatively they sell the house and then he can buy his own place. Then he'd have no need to want your house.

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