I stole this from a mummy blogger on fb. Sums Bing up nicely…
Where are Bings parents?
Where are ALL of their parents?!!!
What the fuck is Flop?
Is he Bings dad? Childminder? Carer? Teacher? Invisible friend? A talking beanbag?!
Why is everything in Bings house made for someone bigger than him? Do his parents live there and we just don't see them or hear about them? Or do they design these houses to last each child right through to when they've grown up?
What happens to the flops then? Do they get old? Do they move on to another child?
Do the flops and Pagets of this land mate with each other? Because Flop wants a piece...
Are the speaking-saggy-sacks designed to look like the child they look after? (Flop looks like a bunny, amma looks like an elephant.) Apart from pignose Paget. Did she adopt Pando or step in after his panda-looking carer person/thing let him run riot and lead a life of chaos and nudity?
Is there another world full of grown up animals who have the babies and then send them to Flop and his friends to raise in some weird messed up beanbag world?!
Coco and Charlie are siblings... so this isn't a one time thing. Their parents spawned again! At it like rabbits, but where are they?! Where is their house?!
And WHO the hell does Charlie and Coco's nanny-beanbag think she is?! Dropping them off like that and driving off with her phone. I hope they don't pay her to look after them because she never bloody does...lazy cow.
Why the hell do they have carrot ice cream as standard there?
Where's flops or the parents bedrooms? We never see any other door or room. Does Flop sleep?! Or does he just stare at Bing all night?
Paget and her twirling, whistling and lollipop-keeping issues. She's away with the fairies. Where's Pando when she's working and jogging around?! Doing circles on the floor somewhere in his pants I imagine....
Why is Sula not massive given she's an elephant and he's a rabbit? How do I explain to my son that he'll never see a rabbit and an elephant giving each other a hug in real life because one is likely to step on the other and squish it by mistake? (Much like the infamous butterfly episode of Bing. Don't get me started....he should be in jail.)
Can Flop put himself in the washing machine? Is he tumbledryer safe?
Are the carer-beanbags on drugs? Because they never seem to get angry at these very irritating kids. I mean, Bing is just a massive moaning mcmoaner, Pando shouldn't be let loose on the public, Sula is a stubborn little madam, and Coco is basically just a bossy bunny-bitch.
Charlie. (Breath....). Cute. So cute. But how can Flop look after him? He looks like he'd struggle to lift a Bar of Dairy Milk, let alone a baby twice his size. If Charlie needs picking up or carrying out the pram.... does he just fall out and hope for the best?
He threw your phone in the bin flop. I'm all for gentle parenting, but seriously? Nothing? Not even a frown?
Whyyyyyyy do they have a cat?! Why are cats not evolved enough to talk and have beanbag carers? Dogs too! Why didn't you get chosen too? What happened to you?!!! Who failed you?! Why are you being punished in this way? Talk to me Arlo!!
Where did the guy who works on the bridge get that Liverpudlian/Irish accent?!
Pando's shorts. Why? Just... why?
And lastly, and most importantly I feel...
Where. The. Hell. Does. Amma. Come. From.
Is it Jamaica? Newcastle? Scotland? Nigeria?!!
I don't know what you're saying Amma!! Even Bing takes the piss out of you when you tell him to 'for-cus...'. We can't for-cus Amma because we are still trying to figure out what you said so.... yeah. I'm done with you, you creepy little heffalump.
How am I supposed to carry on with my life when these questions haunt me and I'm just meant to accept 'it's A Bing thing?! '
🤔😳🙈😧
'Round the corner, not far away....Mummy's losing her shit today!'