Anyone awake for a handhold?

[Feellikeshitonastick]

My mum is really ill, and I live abroad. We've just come back from visiting and I wish I was still at home. But for all kinds of reasons, we cannot do that.

I'm dealing with ongoing health problems of my own, and one of the consequences is not being able to have children of my own. It's like I've never truly processed it, but sometimes it hits me like a sledgehammer and tonight I just feel numb and empty and not sure what to do with myself.

Normally, I do appreciate my life and all the good in it very much but on days like today, it's like the zest and enthusiasm have been kicked right out of me.

Just need a bit of a vent. Thanks to anyone for reading.

Sorry to hear that. I'm rubbish at advice, but .

I’m here. I also live overseas away from family. I’m sorry your mum is ill, it’s very hard being far away sometimes.

It’s ok to be sad and feel empty, life can be tough.

Oh gosh op, not many words of advice tooffer, but it's understandable that you're thinking of your mum while she is ill and that's possibly led you to thinking of your circumstances too.

There will be much better placed posters who can offer their experiences of being childless, whether through personal choice or health etc, and how the came to a decision, how they cope, andany posters dealing with elderly or ill parents, especially when not nearby to hand. Again, they'll be better ollaced to understand how you feel being far from your mum.

Lots of un mumsnet ty hugs to you.. No doubt you are finding things hard at t'the moment.

Just sending Sorry it’s so hard tonight. Hang in there, your resilience will kick in again soon, but sometimes you are allowed to feel all those difficult feelings. Things will lift again. Sorry about your mum.

That sounds really tough. It's hard to be away from your mum even when all is well, much harder when they're not.

No advice or real empathy I'm afraid as I have my Dd, although my own health meant I couldn't have any more after her.

It's natural to think of all kinds of things regarding family and mortality and legacy when dealing with such things.

Carry on venting/offloading here if it helps.

Hi there, I live in Ireland and my parents are in the UK. Mum had a nasty fall last year and I've been back and forward alot to them and leaving is heartbreaking so I know how you feel in that respect. I'm an only child so do feel like it's alot to process at times. I just wanted to send you a virtual hug and I hope your mum is doing OK. Just remember your doing your best and try to look after yourself

I have the same issue at the moment with my Grandmother. I wish I could stay with her but I have a family here with 2 DC that need me and I can’t be in both places as once. I understand how hard it is

I'm sorry you are going through all this. I know what it is like to live far away from family, and it is especially hard when it is elderly and ailing parents. Try and think of the visit you had and how good it was that you went.

I have never had children of my own either, but I was lucky to meet a wonderful man over 30 years ago who had two small boys.being in their lives has enriched mine tremendously. Now is not the time but you can probably find rewarding ways to interact with children even though you might not have your own.

I don't have a magic wand, but I have been through the loss of both my parents very close together. One thing I learned is to eat and stay hydrated. Be gentle on yourself. This too will pass .

Take care. Worry is so hard.