I'm really quiet/shy on Microsoft Teams at my new job, how can I improve?

[quietonteams]

My previous job I was in person, so whilst I was still a little reserved I found it a lot easier to get to know people and I could be quite chatty. My new job is remote so far and I'm really shy and awkward on Teams, I find it hard to know when to jump into the conversation as it's hard to judge those lulls/gaps in conversation on Teams, I find at least.

I have had three meetings with my manager now and I'm really shy and quiet during them! I hate it and feel really embarrassed about it.

Does anyone have any advice? I have some casual 1:1 meetings coming up with my colleagues to get to know them on Teams and I'm really worried I'm going to be so shy and quiet and dull and awkward.

I did well in my interview and pre-interview assessments and have been told my assessments got passed around the office as they were impressed by them and so I've had a few emails from senior staff saying they are really looking forward to meeting me and I feel like I'm just a huge anticlimactic disappointment.

I have the exact same thing. I started a new job WFH last year and I absolutely hate all the talking over teams. In person and in the office, I'm fine with people. But trying to talk in a group of 20 people I don't know over teams is impossible. I hate it. The worst part is loads of people don't like putting their cameras on. I don't even know what half of my colleagues look like!

I find in Teams that using the hand raise function can be quite helpful if I’m finding it hard to interject. Might help if you’re new. Once you get to know people you’ll know more about when to speak and when to pipe down 😂

Teams conversations are much harder than normal conversations, because so many of the social cues are missing. Ideally, one person needs to chair the meeting fully & tell people when to speak up.

1:1 meetings are typically much easier & I'm sure you will be fine in those.

In bigger groups, it can make sense to raise your hand (physically or by clicking the button) if you want to contribute a point, or lean forward and start to speak (you'll feel a bit like a gulping fish) to show you are ready to talk.

If you've got casual 1:1 sessions with your colleagues but you're shy and not sure what to talk about, consider uploading and using a personalised backdrop to act as a conversation starter. Most recently I've had landscape shots taken on a family holiday in Devon (I had Torquay's palms today) but I've also worked my way through children's television shows from A-Z and old sitcom sets. They definitely broke the ice when we were getting used to using Teams for our meetings - there are always a few minutes at the start when you are waiting on everybody joining the meeting, so people used to ask or try and guess my backdrop and that meant we had already 'conversed' when the meeting itself started so less nervous.

Don't worry at all about timing when you chip in on a teams meeting. It doesn't matter if you overlap or you stop and start because someone else does the same. It doesn't matter if it's a bit awkward. That's very common and no one thinks badly of someone for misjudging the timing. It won't reflect on you.

The 1:1's will be easier because that's a natural dialogue.

@leavesthataregreen

Don't worry at all about timing when you chip in on a teams meeting. It doesn't matter if you overlap or you stop and start because someone else does the same. It doesn't matter if it's a bit awkward. That's very common and no one thinks badly of someone for misjudging the timing. It won't reflect on you.

The 1:1's will be easier because that's a natural dialogue.

I'd disagree with this.

It's really annoying if people do this in Teams meetings with more than 3 people.

In my organisation, we use the raise hand function.

However, you only need to contribute when you have something to say, like any meeting. It's completely fine not to have something to say when you are new & getting used to a new environment.

A good Chair should check in with participants anyway, unless it's a massive meeting.

In the more informal chats, as opposed to chaired meetings, and 1:1 meetings of course, just talk when you want to! You'll get used to the different online cues.

Don't worry about speaking over people by mistake. Everyone does it. The important thing is to be upbeat and friendly, don't be apologetic and weird about it, just move on. In my org people try to use the raise hand function but get ignored anyway so just speaking over someone and then faux apologising is preferable. But that will depend on the culture of the org! You will get the hang of it. Don't overthink it!

Focus on the one-to-ones for now. Group calls are always hard, and when you don't really know anyone they're even harder! Once you get to know some of the individuals the group calls will get easier. Make sure you're prepared for the one-to-ones if you're worried, have a list of points to talk about, even if they seem a bit inane. "tell me a bit about what you do", "what do you wish you'd known before you worked here", "can you tell me your experience about x topic"

My favourite kind of TEAMS meeting is where I get to say nothing.
Do you need to speak up at meeting, OP?

How about just being upfront with people and telling them? Not in an angsty way, but just ooh it's so hard starting a new job on teams because it is hard to get stuck in because social cues are so weird. It is not you by the sounds, and I am chatty and found it weird when I started, so just call it out.

Good luck!