How can I deal with stress, anger, resentment

[Dayrider]

I can’t afford counselling and my local nhs service only offers iapt talking therapies to treat anxiety, depression, ocd and perhaps actual issues not my stupid personality traits that cause/can be part of arguments and tension with my partner.
My partner has mental health problems and is quite needy, I also have young children.
It’s probably a combination of both of our misgivings but it’s always me that ends up snapping. I feel like I defensive at times, I’d quite like to work out why and how to stop. I also feel I’m not good with stressful situations in the home, I am tired a lot and my partner says I always say I’m tired as an excuse.
I wish I could afford a counsellor like on the American tv shows that they visit for guidance.

Can you be your own counsellor? Get a notebook and write down your feelings thoughts.. it’s for you so let it out, all of it, good bad and ugly.. then you can read it back abd ask yourself if it’s true? Or tinted? By anger jealousy sadness etc? Or it fear? Fear was my tormentor and that practice helped me.. also guided relaxation on Calm app or similar.. meditation.com

I had counselling for contamination phobia once and these are things I learnt there.. also it sounds like you have care burnout.. caring for children , caring for partner, taking on all responsibilities.. maybe you need Excercise or a way to burn off the frustration? If you feel anxious or angry all the time, can’t sleep, can’t rest.. go see your GP

Write down/Journal for one week. Anything that comes into your head. Dont judge,think too much rationalise anything. Just write.
Then review after a week. Just write your thoughts. Nothing to do with your partner. He can't diagnose you and may well be triggering yiu but just what is uppermost in your head.
See if there is a pattern. Do you change behaviour when tired/dealing with partner/,kids/state of house??
If you can't see a pattern then carry on journslling and reviewing until you do.
Knowing your triggers is step closer to addressing them.
Good luck

You can self-refer for six free counselling sessions in lots of areas now. Call it depression if that's what it takes to get yourself signed up and then explain in the session that it comes out as anger and stress. Being unable to stop yourself from snapping at people or feeling rage are very common symptoms of depression.

There's often quite a long wait between assessment and being assigned a counsellor though. In the meantime, try some short meditations - you tube do loads of 10 minute ones. Choose ones that heal and restore you, ones for stress and exhaustion. I agree that journalling is also a really good thing to do.