Confidence ideas needed please

[Suitcaseofnerves]

So tomorrow I am going to a work do - drinks then dinner for 30 ish people. People I have never met as only started during lockdown and work is pretty independent. I know a few names as speak maybe once a week but is all work.

It doesn’t help that I’m quite socially awkward but I really want to make myself go so I become more visible at work and hopefully get in at company.

Any tips gratefully received!

Ask open questions, ones that can't be answered with just a Yes or No.
Show an interest in what they say.

Open ended is great idea, thank you.

I’m also worried I will be asked some work questions and be exposed as knowing nothing!

Turn the question round if you're not sure "I'm fairly new so one of the reasons I was looking forward to tonight was so I could learn more! What do you think is most important about [whatever the question was they asked you]?

You won't because you are doing the job. If you're asked something turn it back on them - e.g. 'What do you think ...', 'How do you think I should approach it...'

I'm socially quite awkward, and I try to get them to do the talking. A lot of people love talking about themselves.

Thanks both!

Good advice from @MutteringDarkly.
You'll be fine @Suitcaseofnerves.

@MutteringDarkly, gave me good advice on a thread I started and I have been applying them., I got some unpleasant posts on the thread that made me feel like I was a failure. Someone posted Your lack of self awareness is astounding.

This is your thread and I didn't want to set anyone off buy updating that thread.

Remember @Suitcaseofnerves, you got the job because you can do it. By meeting your colleagues you'll get to know them, and I'm sure you'll fit in fine at the dinner. If you are stuck for anything to say, you can always ask about hobbies. You might find common ground, or that they seem more rounded when they talk about something they are enthusiastic about. If they are enthusiastic about the work, they'll be good colleagues.

People tend to love talking about either their children / pets / hobbies so once you've found out which one they are, just get them on that!

@YoureTheTop I really hope it helps Part of my job is coaching people facing obstacles at work - I've never lost one yet (and I love doing it).

It did help @MutteringDarkly. Some of the posts made me feel I was a total failure but yours was proper advice I could work with.
Better to try and turn things round that think I failed.
You sound like a great colleague, and I bet you are good at what you do.

@Suitcaseofnerves, you could build up a few questions to ask that are work related, and a few ice-breaker ones, and also a few replies if you get asked the same.

If you are asked something like 'Anything planned for the weekend?' or 'Did you go on holiday this year?', it's ok to say something like 'Not this year, where did you go?' or 'Nothing planned for this weekend, how about you?' They'll probably talk about their holiday or hobby for a bit.

Just remember not to hide your light under a bushel, it's a chance for you to network and show them what a great person you are. Enjoy yourself.

Two things I find ease nerves at works dos are:

Go in thinking 'How can I help you?' so when you meet other people be on the look out for any way you might be of help - introduce them to someone in another department who is really good at some skill they need or offer to send them a relevant article you read that might interest them.

And think of a few things you'd love to know about the job or are genuinely interested in, and ask around until you are paired up with someone who can chat with you about this.

Mix that up with the usual discussions about where people are longing to go on holiday and what they are up to this weekend and it'll be fine.