How much time 'off' each evening?

[Olive30]

Just wondering how typical i am. I generally stop and sit down after working, cooking, putting kids to bed, tidying up etc...etc...at around 9pm. Feeling a bit peeved tonight that it's so late. Hour's downtime before bed at 10pm.
Not sure what i am expecting and welcome to the real world but just wondering if i should count myself lucky or try to work out how to squeeze in a bit more time somehow... what is your situation?

I'm a single mum and I'm generally done for the evening by the time DS goes to bed at half 7. I clean and tidy in little bursts throughout the day but its only a 2 bed flat so doesn't need much. We pick up all his toys whilst the bath is running so he goes straight from bath to his bedroom, which leaves me with a nice tidy living room to chill out in once he is asleep.

I really value my downtime though and prioritise that above a perfectly spotless flat before bed etc.

Usually 8pm for me, I work from home and DH often works evenings so will do a bit of tidying during the day. DD is only 3 though so she’s asleep by 7.30

I must live in a different life. I had dinner partly prepped in the morning before I went to work, so dinner at 6pm, washed up (those days before we had a dishwasher) , both boys bathed and bed by 7pm.

I sat down at 7pm. I do today and they are late teens.

This not sitting down till 9.30pm is not what anyone I know does.

Why are none of you getting any downtime.
You should be getting at least 2 hits between say 8 and 10pm.
No wonder you are all knackered. This is not right.

@Oblomov21

Why are none of you getting any downtime. You should be getting at least 2 hits between say 8 and 10pm. No wonder you are all knackered. This is not right.

Let’s not beat around the bush, it’s poor time management

I don't sit down till about midnight, then have an hours peace in a quiet house before bed!

Kids to bed then go back bwork till 10/11 at night (trade off of clocking off to do school run). If I go to an exercise class then I finish work more like midnight. I try to not work on Friday and Saturday evenings where possible.

Downtime is usually about 9pm and then we stay awake too late and are knackered at 6am when we both have to get up. Have a cleaner etc but toddler DD isn’t usually asleep till 8:30pm and we need half an hour to clean up the destruction, finish loading dishwasher take bins out (live in flat) and I shower in the evenings.

We've always had evenings to ourselves so 7.30 onwards. Couldn't function without that!

@mindyourbusiness22 nonsense. In many cases it's about juggling. So many parents I know work this pattern so they can spend time with their children after school and then pick up work once they are in bed. For me it is a luxury to work this way as I get plenty of time with my children but can also drive my career forward.

I have an 8 week old so I don't really get any time unless she decides to nap in her cot while DS is at school (rare)

Depends on activities but generally, rule of thumb is : the kitchen is closed and I clock off at 8

That means, that if they are hungry after that they'll have to help themselves to either cereal/toast/fruit/yogurt- and clean up after themselves

I am obviously here if needed but by 8, homework should be finished, they should be showered and in their pj's-or at least settled down for the evening. They know, and do, they can come to me etc after 8, but generally, housework etc, kids stuff, cooking....I don't do anymore after 8

We are 'done' for the evening when DD goes to sleep at 7. It's so nice having those hours to ourselves.

We have a weekly cleaner but otherwise clean up as we go really, 4YO does he own toys. One of us puts the kids to bed whilst the other cooks dinner. By 7.30 both children are sleeping, we sit down and eat, stack dishwasher afterwards and there’s nothing else left to do by about 8.

Heck I don't even have kids and my downtime starts at about 8:30pm or 9pm sometimes, sometimes I wonder how ill cope when I have kids

Same as lots of you, around 9-9.30 and up once or twice in the night.

Luckily I only work out of home one day a week.

My children are grown up now but I made a point of doing very little after 8pm but I would usually get up between 5.30 and 6am so I could get loads done before anyone else woke up. This always worked well for me as I am most definitely a lark rather than an owl.

Im lucky as I get me time from around 7pm for the rest of the evening

Is this now the norm? There's no need for this lifestyle that most women are choosing. I've never understood those that choose to run their lives this way, there is something a bit martyish about it. Make changes, so you have downtime. It's perfectly possible, many manage it.

If you are organised and keep on top of things, admin, it's relatively easy: organise the next children's dentist, order that mufti day outfit now, plan the next 2-3 days of dinners: empty the bins, empty the dishwasher, put a wash on, quick whizz round with the hoover, 15 minutes - done, then there is plenty of time. I sit and watch a tv programme, last last Virgil, I MN'net for 1.5 hours and chose to go to bed at 9. My teens stay up later than me through choice!

I think the fact that you have teens may be the key factor here, @oblomov21 ! So no:

• Food all over the floor that needs clearing each day
• baby that needs breastfeeding to sleep and then putting down oh-so-gently
• tonnes of washing generated by wearing, potty training, messy play etc
• long bedtimes when your toddler won't sleep
• toys to put away and sort
• mopping the floor because the baby is crawling and puts everything in its mouth

Etc etc.

About an hour in the evening here too. I try to grab twenty mins downtime at lunch where I can.

I'd say on average, we sit down about 8.30pm (some days are earlier, other days later). I have food with the kids at 5pm, start the dishes and general tidy. DH has food when he finishes at 6pm then finishes off tidying. We split bath/bedtimes. Kids are young so usually down by 7.30-8pm. I do yoga most nights, finish off a few bits (put a load of washing in, dishwasher etc) then read until whatever time I fall asleep.

@Keke94LND

Heck I don't even have kids and my downtime starts at about 8:30pm or 9pm sometimes, sometimes I wonder how ill cope when I have kids

You'll stop doing all the stuff you're currently doing til 9pm and replace it with kid stuff 😩

Not really chocolatebuttercream. Re teens. I did the same when they were babies. And other posters have said they do the same with young ones.

Why are Women these days doing themselves such a disservice? To not allow themselves any downtime. it's just ridiculous. I don't know where this idea came from, or why is acceptable to do this now. it's just not acceptable. totally unacceptable. So why are you allowing this to happen?

Up 6 yesterday and zero down time until 1030 so late bed at nearly midnight while I just browsed Mumsnet and read my book.

Work, DH working back in office, school run, cooking - cleaning up after food etc just it’s a lot - then work and life admin on top.