How do you help someone who doesn’t think they deserve help?

[FromBeanToCupYouFuckUp]

Friend is really struggling. Caring for her DM, SEN DD. Her DH doesn’t really give her support. I try to help out and looked into support for her DD. I think she’s so ground down she doesn’t think she deserves help. Or if I try and buy her something nice for her birthday she says oh no no I can’t accept this - I mean like a top or makeup set not a car btw!! I don’t expect gifts in return, she’s got enough going on and we’re old friends. Sometimes I’m trying to help but feel like I’m pushing her. I probably need to back off don’t I?

She maybe feels like reciprocating when it’s your birthday is just more stress that she cannot deal with. Easier just not to get into that circle.

Help her by all means, looking up what help is available would be a kindness.

perhaps presents are a step too far just now while she is so stressed out. Unless it’s a packet of biscuits or a cake.

It’s hard to get the balance right. She may not want help. Some people don’t.