Knowing this place is right for DD

[ItsMondayMorning]

How do you know if you've found the right childcare option for your child? My little girl is only just 14 months and due to Covid has never been looked after by anyone else. Understandably I think, I'm nervous about putting her into childcare, and have postponed my back to work date because of the pandemic, but at some stage before Xmas I need to go back to 2 days a week. I've been looking at nurseries and childminders. I saw a couple of nurseries which were so bad it made me cry afterwards the thought of leaving her there. Started looking at childminders as I thought they might be better for a younger child / baby. Yesterday I visited one and I just don't know how I feel about it.
Do you instantly know when you've found the right place for your DC? Eg Should you feel "oh wow this is wonderful"?

I felt that the childminder was obviously qualified, and seemed perfectly capable, and the location was convenient for where we live, but the setting wasn't particularly nice and there was nothing inspiring. I felt the food sounded poor and the sleeping/napping arrangements made me feel sad, and there were limited books - but I don't know if I'm over thinking. I know Mumsnet users might accuse me of being all PFB- but my little girl is the most precious thing in the world to me!

The childminder has an assistant and I asked if they were both vaccinated. She said the assistant "wouldn't be as she's under 30" - but they got jabbed ages ago. That was another thing which made me feel uneasy. Again, don't know if I'm being realistic? I'm in an area of the country (London) and a borough where apparently vaccine uptake is lower...

Another downside was the childminder said for settling in I'll have to just drop DD off and leave for an hour instead of sitting in and observing her play (which is what parents normally do) due to Covid. But I don't really understand why this is necessary as Covid restrictions have eased?

On the plus side my DD seemed to like the childminder, and enjoyed playing with her toys.

My DH has not been able to visit these places due to his hours and seems surprised and a bit exasperated that I haven't found anywhere I feel comfortable with.

If it's right on paper / ticks some but not all boxes but leaves you cold, could that still work? Is it a case of just commit to one and it should work out, or should you know straight away like buying a house?

Sorry for the essay!

Of course you're a bit pfb. But there are so horrible child care options around too
The just dropping her and leaving for an hour, when you're clearly nervous and she's never been left, isn't great. Why can't you meet in a park or wherever until DD has settled a bit if there really is an issue with indoor meeting ( there isn't really is there?).
She doesn't sound like a childminder I'd want to make a contract with tbh; a little too confident that you'll put up and shut up.

Yes that's how I felt about the settling in. I feel like Covid is just being used as an excuse.

My DD is 27- has booked vaccines in line with age availability and only has 2nd jab next weekend. Teacher and back with 200 secondary pupils a week.

For us, I knew straight away. We'd looked at some others, very well reviewed with good inspection reports, but I'd left just feeling uncomfortable. The minute I went into DD's tiny nursery, it was like night a day. It was so homely, it's run by three sisters and it has such a loving, friendly atmosphere. It's very small and open, but all the kids looked genuinely happy and engaged and the staff were so enthusiastic.

I actually had a wee cry on the way home because I was so relieved. I had been feeling so worried about sending her after the places we had visited, which seemed fine but very clinical and not warm, but I knew she would thrive there, and she has!

So trust your gut, I think.

I think you do know. I saw several nurseries which, like you say, just made me deeply depressed.

But then we went to one in a lovely building and garden, with staff who clearly care, and tonnes of amazing toys and books. DD is thriving there.

I say keep searching. Great child care is available!

You need to actively like the place and the people in some way I would say. I say keep looking, take dh with you and if you can't find anything at all then you are going to need a plan B. Have you looked at nurseries or childminders near yours or dhs work. My friend did a nanny share. The nanny also had her own child and it wasn't therefore too expensive.

To me the childminder sounds fine. Sadly I think there will always be compromises on things like meal times and nap times unless you can afford to pay for a nanny. I do understand your hesitancy about setting in though. Would she consider a garden session?

We saw one where the children looked drugged and unhappy, one where the staff looked drugged and unhappy, one with very rundown surroundings but very experienced confident staff (we chose them and they were amazing - then a place at DH work subsidised nursery came up and we reluctantly moved her but they were even better and in a lovely purpose built environment and staff couldn't go to too much trouble). You know and its your responsibility to ensure your child is well cared for.

Sounds like I should keep looking

We viewed 5 nurseries that were either on the way to my work or DH’s. At the 5th one I absolutely got that feeling of “this is the one”. (We weren’t interested in a childminder as we have no backup option for if the CM is ill.) 2.5 years later and no regrets

Vaccines are literally available for 16-17 year olds now... I would be wary about this if not only for the fact that they might have to isolate if someone if positive in their house. If they're vaccinated they don't have that.

I think you do know when you’ve found the right one. I visited 3 and they just gave me a sense of unease about one thing or another. As soon as I visited and met the staff at the 4th I knew it was the right one.

Just to ease your mind about not being there for settling in. My childminder did it as a drop off rather than stay session because it helps the child settle easier when they know to expect to be left. But she built it up, so 30mins then a couple of hours and then a full morning or afternoon session. And on the vaccination thing, they don't need to tell you either way so you may find that a problem with any setting if they aren't willing to disclose it. But definitely go by gut feeling! I only met with my childminder and no one else because I knew people who'd used her and when I met her with baby I just liked her. She seemed warm and kind and I knew he'd be ok. You will just know.