What do your DC do after school? Age 10/12

[OrangeSunset]

We used to have after school childcare three times/week but Covid put paid to all that.

So now my DC (year 6 and year 8) are home straight after school apart from one or two nights when a club is on. What do your DC do in the couple of hours before tea? I’ve basically got a window of opportunity to put in place a good routine and I’m keen to crowdsource your best tips!

I’m not happy that they spend that time on screens. DS in particular gets obsessed by stuff and the never ending world of YouTube is no help. I also believe they should be helping contribute but I also want to have some ‘present’ time with them that isn’t just about me trying to get them to do homework/lay the table/stop badgering me for screens.

Years of outsourcing this stuff means I am lacking ideas and inspiration!

I worked full time, so my two were home alone after getting off the school bus.
They usually got themselves a drink and snack, then did their homework for an hour or two until I arrived. They would then chat to me while we got dinner ready.
That was 20 years ago, so screens weren’t such an issue. We did have some primitive computer games that they could play on the clunky desktop!

Enrol them in a swimming club they will never have free time again! My 11 year old goes straight to swimming from school, finishes at 6 comes home has tea, homework then xbox until bed time. 5 days a week!!!

My 10 year old plays with toys still; lego, playmobil etc. She sets up story lines sometimes films it to make animation, piano practice, loads of sketching using a book from my childhood about how to draw cartoon characters. She makes things for her storylines so draws back drops and paints them etc.

My 14 year old is reads quite a bit of political literature as he's currently curious about Marxism etc. He's keen on vinyl and listens to music quite a bit, looks up new albums and their reviews, he plays his guitar and of course is on his phone and occasionally ps4 but he's drifted away from that in the past 6 months and is more keen on music.

Mines 12, home at 3.30. We have a chat about the day, sometimes a cuddle. She plays on her phone etc.

Similar to the swimming club, my 14 year old is thinking about joining the council gym which is very good and about 6 minutes away. However, he is obviously older than your two and I don't think I would have been happy with him pursuing things outside of the house at 12. Obviously, my 10 year old will not be going to the gym but she has extra curricular clubs 4 x a week so that I can work longer hours and because she enjoys them. She does the playing etc when we both get in about 5.45.

Homework which is 40 minutes a day as soon as they come in. x2 nights we are straight out after that to clubs, home, shower, dinner and bed.

2xnights they watch TV, play in the garden, speak to their mates on facetime, help with dinnner, walk the dog. Also have to do 30 minutes reading per night so sometimes do that before they go to bed to go to bed later.

I have to be superstrict with youtube it really negatively impacts their behaviour, it's obsessive.

Friday they can do what they want if they've done what they need to do. They don't have a consoloe as they have never expressed interest, they do play games on their phones and they can have youtube Fridays and weekends but it is time limited.

Y6 10 year olds

Home by 3.30, snacks at the table where they talk about their day. Xbox/ tv/ play in the garden or with neighbors kids etc before tea or clubs. 2 days out of 5 he does a sports club at 5.30 and on another day he's in school till 4 doing a club. Dinner. After dinner stuff like, homework, reading, board game, play in garden, watch a film, minecraft etc.

Tbh after school and all his sports clubs he does needs to chill so I don't mind him watching tv or playing minecraft online.

DS is nearly 12.
He has one afternoon a week with me, one with DH, two with DH working from home and one where he is on his own for three hours.
In the three hours he games, plays music, eats pot noodles, and messages me on Whatsapp. That's his favourite day of the week.
On the other days he goes out on his bike with his friends, helps with the shopping and household chores, plays football, rugby, board and card games, and PokémonGo with DH or me, and watches and posts on TikTok and YouTube.

My 10yo plays out mainly - bike, skateboard, scooter etc with dc who live nearby. They sometimes go on minecraft or dp some craft.

We do a few structured things - music lessons and hoping to start a theatre club.

Homework sorted first, unless it's a big project that we'll all tackle together after dinner. Then off out to see their friends. Sometimes they'll go to the park or go to a friends house together. A few days a week their friends will come here and they'll all go out to the garden or up to the office to game.

Snack, play football in the garden, out on bikes with local kids, play Xbox, watch you tube or whatever, generally decompress from being at school

I'm in a similar situation OP. My kids are a but younger though. I WFH now so am able to have my DC at home instead of CM after school. My work is quite flexible so I'm able to work while the kids are busy or do a couple of hours in the evening.

Mine went back last week and they've largely spent the time outside playing with their friends. Fully expect that will change with winter though.

Mine used to come home, have a drink and toast or cake, get changed, go to friends or have friends round, have tea, do homework, watch TV. Never did anything structured until oldest joined ATC aged 14. Some time ago now. On here everything seems so organised; children don't have any time to lounge around and just do nothing.

On here everything seems so organised; children don't have any time to lounge around and just do nothing.

This is very true! DD does one activity per week and that's enough for her. I feel as though kids don't get to relax or learn to entertain themselves anymore.

DD (10, year 6) goes to the park or has a friend over, all spontaneously, or does homework, faffs about on YouTube or chats with friends from where we used to live. Sometimes does crafts, would like that to be more regular tbh.
I am WFH but if DH is around they occasionally go to beach or to a pool for a swim.

My 12y/o gets home from school just after 4pm and generally spends a couple of hours gaming, sometimes with friends online. Occasionally goes out and meets friends at park or something.

After dinner it's homework, piano practise, Scouts once a week, and sometimes a board game or watches TV with us before bath/bed.

No screens (phone or laptop) in his room after 8pm on school nights.

9y/o gets in at half 3. She'll play on screens for a bit, play in garden or with toys, Cubs once a week, riding once a week and usually have a friend round or meet up for a walk/park/scooter ramps etc at least once.

Same after dinner as her brother.

Homework and then play out or play with Lego etc if the weather is bad. Couple of activities a week.

DS 15 got home yesterday and went straight to bed after his first day back.

I managed to get him to eat a snack before he was fully asleep. He then woke up in the middle of the night defrosted a burger and fried it.

My teens tend to go to the park after school or to friends houses to hang out for a bit

@eddiemairswife I would be happy with the less-organised lounging around approach, but the the main issue is screens - or the lure of screens. So unless there is some other thing in place, the vacuum will be filled with constant badgering for screens. And as PP said, it really has a bad impact on behaviour. DS would spend hours on it if you let him, therefore strict boundaries required.

They can have two nights on screens before dinner - Friday and a week night.

There isn’t very much homework in these parts. I don’t love it as a concept when they have been at school all day, but it would give a bit of much-needed structure.

We watch TV as a family for 30 mins later if they are ready for bed in good timing.

We do have activities but these are generally later ie after tea. It’s that bit between 3.30pm and 5pm that needs filling with something meaningful but not too structured!

Some good tips, thanks. I think if I can be present for the bit straight after school, proper chat and snack, then I wonder if they might find it easier to go off and something.

I am WFH but cannot try and work at the same time, rightly they want some interaction and attention. It’s just I used to outsource this!