Do you ever see how the other half live?

[Tabbypawpaw]

We have close relatives who are extremely well off - the husband works in finance (long hours) and the wife has not worked since she had children. They have several lovely children, great natures and polite and all doing well but now I have children of my own the marked difference between their and our lifestyles is so clear. Not jealous at all as would hate to work long and stressful/difficult hours to afford such a circus and only want the best for them…it’s just such an eye opener. I was brought up by v frugal parents and although we lived quite comfortably there was def that frugality there! My relatives kids have all had a top public school education, horses/pony club, private sports lessons in any sport they show an interest in, private music lessons on instruments costing thousands of pounds, the most wonderful holidays, regular trips to top sporting events, theatre, festivals. They think nothing of Ocado deliveries costing hundreds per week (to be fair the kids eat an enormous amount!). The children have well off relatives too so receive v generous gifts. The parents are utterly devoted to their children and their success. It’s just so…different to my own life. I was buying one nephew a birthday present a couple of months ago and worrying I hadn’t spend enough and ended up spending more for a particular product I would never splash out on myself. Silly really!

One of DDs friends is very wealthy, have staff, flit between The UK and Dubai (first class) but not only are they lovely generous kind people who have set up and funded an entire orphanage they lost one of the children a few years ago in a terrible accident and I’m sure they would give everything away to have him back.
Money can’t buy everything

@memberofthewedding

I was born in a mean little terraced house with an outside toilet which backed onto the railway. Money (or rather the lack of it) was a constant source of friction between my parents, particularly when I was in my teens. I was sent to school one winter with cardboard in the soles of my shoes because they had holes in them. My grandmother (who was estranged from my parents but thats another story) bought me a pair of sturdy Clarks shoes for school. When I began secondary school my uniform comprised two skirts from a second hand market. Again, grandma came to the rescue with school skirts, blouses and socks. It was not the custom for women to work then (1950s) we we existed on my dad's wage alone.

My parents considered education and study was for "posh" and "stuck up" people and being a student was "faffing about". They had no conception of the ability of people to raise themselves through education and qualifications. Every time my father saw me with a book open (even when I was revising for my GCE) he told me to get in the kitchen and help my mother.

When I qualified in a profession I began t move away from that kind of lifestyle and the process was completed when I left my parents home. It was never discussed in overt terms but they were well awate that I was moving away from a working class outlook and culture.

This struck a chord with me -- it describes how one of my parents was brought up, by parents who had little money and an enormous mistrust of the educated. That parent became the one who encouraged me to go to uni, get a degree, be independent and it's made all the difference.

Having DC in private schools yes, I've seen how the "other half" lives. Like others, it's reminded me that no matter how well we think we are doing there is always someone with "more" -- more money, flashier cars, larger house.

I'm human. Of course I envy the SAHM crowd who are meeting for coffee while I go to work to pay school fees, the ones with big houses and nannies and all. I wish them all the best; some of them are truly lovely people. I do my best to tackle the envy and appreciate what I do have!

I was raised firmly in the middle. Semi in a nice town, dad played golf, we had a caravan, degree from a northern red brick. Went to private school on an assisted place. I had wealthier friends, but we all rubbed along.

In my late twenties DH and I met and fell in love. He is firmly the other half ( Eton, father in the Lords, house overlooking The Park) and I felt pretty much parachuted into a different world, some of which was spectacularly privileged. It was fascinating at first, but I now just accept it as something I experience now and again.

A year later, I moved to London to live with DH and got a job working in the poorest borough in London. Many of my clients were refugees, disabled and stifled by grinding poverty. Of the two ‘other half’ experiences, this is the one that most changed my thinking, both about the world and our place in it.

We are now quite wealthy and have left London. We’ve made a conscious choice not to buy into some of the lifestyle choices available to us. Although we still have a lovely life. And to make sure our kids know a little about the real world and their potential to make it a bit better through their money, mind and kindness.

Yes. My job takes me from grimy hoarders bedsits to multimillion pound mansions and penthouses, often in the same day. It's eye opening. The gulf kinda depresses me to be honest.
However, it's not always a case of living a charmed life if you're wealthy. One of my clients for example is currently battling cancer, all the money in the world won't make that any easier, although I guess not worrying about paying the bills whilst ill helps.

I always considered my family to be fairly financially comfortable and about average compared to my peers at university. It was quite an eye opener when I started work in a big business where almost everyone was from much, much wealthier backgrounds. Particularly memorable moments were when I overheard a couple of male trainees bemoaning the fact that they couldn't seem to find anyone who ironed their shirts like 'matron' did at school and a trainee who complained bitterly that her Dad had reduced her allowance down to £1k a month when she started working. The girl with the allowance also got really annoyed that her Dad's driver (for his business) refused to come out and collect her after nights out.

This might out me.

But one of my dearest friends is amazingly wealthy. She comes from humble South Wales backgrounds like me, but married a very wealthy man. Not for his money they were smitten from day one, they are a wonderful couple with lovely children. Honestly wonderful people.

Me however lone parent living in social housing working full time earning under 25k.

Our lifestyles couldn't be different. But the one thing I've always loved about her is she knows this and when buying DS a gift will ring me and say what can I get him? As she never wants my main Christmas present for example to be outshined by her (like last Christmas I worked extra shifts to afford a Nintendo switch light so she bought him a game for it), or if we go out for a meal or drinks she will work on my budget not hers.

She does occasionally try and "spoil" me but I have that working class pride about me, and not wanting to be seen as charity 😳. But for things like her wedding in Dubai, she paid for my flights my accommodation and wouldn't take no for an answer, but as it was her wedding I let it go and enjoyed my time 😂

Shame they hardly saw their father.

All the time because I have the grand total of jack shit!

I had to come off instagram as there is one pointless stupid thing that I wanted that a lot of influencers seemed to have. It’s only £1 in poundland, but I can’t even get that (and the bus fare to get there) and it really got to me. People think a pound is nothing but we have every single penny accounted for.

@Strokethefurrywall

Money can’t buy intellect..

Why on earth would you want it to?! Money buys time and opportunity should you choose to use it that way, or it buys comfort and material possessions, or it buys all of the above.

Or is it somehow better to be smart and poor?

I’m thick and broke, I’d rather be thick and rich.

@Letthelightoflove

That was to *@Cazzovuoi*

Yep I do

Yes, and I can say that they aren't necessarily happier.