Child maintenance increased. Dreading awkward conversation with exH!

[Goldeneggg]

I'm divorced and exH and I are amicable enough.

He pays child maintenance for our children. After our divorce, before I'd applied for it, he started paying me a figure monthly. I applied via CMS and they calculated a slightly higher figure, by £100. He paid the new figure.

The maintenance was reviewed last year and it was reduced. He continued to pay me the higher figure and we never mentioned it.

Recently, it's been reviewed again and the new calculated figure is triple what he's currently been giving me. I thought there had been a miscalculation (and I'm secretly waiting for a second letter to confirm this) but I'm fairly positive his new job has put him in a much better financial position.

I don't want to rock the boat so haven't mentioned the new figure. He works away from home so I'm sure he hasn't seen his letter yet. In the event, he refuses to pay this new figure, how long would it take for CMS to start taking the money from his wages directly if I apply for that option?

I'm still in shock that he earns what CMS indicate because I've been paying the rent with a credit card for months now and have lost count of how many times I've chased him each month for his contribution towards childcare fees (he offered and continues to offer and every month says he can't afford to contribute). I'm dreading having this conversation with him and in an ideal world he will give me the new figure and we just won't mention it.

Just apply without saying anything - they contacted you to tell you

I think this is all ok actually - he has just left it to CMS to sort it

Why are you paying your rent on a credit card? Sure this cannot be a long term solution.

It’s not amicable if it’s only amicable when you do what he wants. If his wage has gone up that much his child support has too, it’s a percentage.

Stop asking for stuff like childcare if you know he won’t pay it, it sounds frustrating and he’s messing you around and can’t be made to pay it anyway.

Do take the full new amount and refuse to discuss it with him if he’s going to be an arsehole.

What’s going on with your income/house that you’re using a credit card? That sounds very stressful.

Legally he isn’t obliged to pay for childcare unless it’s on days when the dc are with him.
Regarding the cm, just wait for it to be paid. If he doesn’t send the money, apply for it to be taken from his at source.

@Lauriefairycake Thanks

@costalatte It's definitely not a long term solution. I work full-time and previously paid a relative a very low amount of money to look after my toddler so I could avoid nursery fees. They passed away a few months ago and I had to put my toddler into nursery as I couldn't find a childminder who could work with my shift pattern at the time. I've now got a childminder and should be able to pay off the credit card whilst it's still under 0% offer on another credit card. I couldn't afford to pay the rent with my salary and it was a short term solution.

Why tell him? Isn’t the whole point of going to cms so you don’t have to discuss it with him

Let CMS sort it and get what you are owed-or rather what your children are owed!

Thank you for your replies.

For clarity, I'm a full-time Band 5 in the NHS. I can't afford to reduce my hours until my youngest is eligible for the 30 funded childcare hours. The new nursery fees for my toddler is what happened to my income. Things will be better with childminder fees instead.

I can see your point about things not being as amicable as I think @AnneLovesGilbert. Sometime you need an outsider to point out certain things you're in denial about.

Don’t worry about it. Blame CMS if you have to. If there has been some
Hideous mistake where they have added extra 0 he will be able summit right paperwork. He must know it’s a % so if he’s had big pay rise then it will go up

He knows, they have sent him the letters, warned him and either he gave them the info, or he knows they have contacted his New job for his pay.
You just need to tell him that his children are suffering because he can't manage his payments and so your just going to let them sort it all.

@Goldeneggg not sure how many children you have but you may be entitled to a little bit of universal credit, even if it is just to pay the childminder fees. It may be worth doing a calculation to check.

Wait and see what he pays on the 1st date the new amount us due. If its not the higher amount just send a short message.. 'Please amend S/O re new CMS rate as per letter dated.. '. The whole point of the cms is that it depersonalises the issue. Its not YOU, the evil ex, who is after his money, its just the objective assessment of what his income merits.