When did you feel "done"?

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After having DD (8) I didn't want another child for about four years, not that I thought I'd want one in the future but that I felt I never wanted any more children. Then I started getting broody when she was about four.

Had DS (2) a few years later and even when I was pregnant I kept thinking that this wouldn't be the last baby.

Fell pregnant again with DS2 (2 months) while still breastfeeding so it was a surprise but a very welcome one.

Dh and I both said three kids is more than enough, we will be done after three. However now DH is speaking about how much he is determined to enjoy ds2 as our last baby... and I'm not feeling like I'm ready for this to be my last.

DS2 is still tiny so I obviously don't want to get pregnant now, but I'm not feeling like I can say for sure that I never want to have another baby, be pregnant or give birth again.

Is this a feeling that will go away once my hormones calm down a little and all the dc get bigger? Did anyone really feel done and never look back on that decision?

When planning DC3 we knew it would be our last. Felt that way the whole way through pregnancy and the minute he was born I knew there definitely wouldn't be any more. He's 4 now and I'm delighted to be done.

I think most women get waves of wanting another child, even if they're sure they don't want any more. Some women act on that and have more, some stop when their circumstances mean that another child would negatively affect their life to a large degree. Thank goodness for contraceptives and abortions, so we can make the choice!

Personally I'm done after one. I always planned to just have one, I hated bring pregnant and having a newborn, and I'm so enjoying him now he's a proper toddler/pre-schooler. I still think about having another, but logically I don't want to.

I don't want anymore children, but I don't feel "done". But I never wanted any children! For me it's a head decision.

I've got 2. Desperate for more but finances are strained (step children, plus our own, all in private school for example). We could dramatically change our lifestyle to accommodate more children but DH doesn't want to. I would though!

I think most women get waves of wanting another child, even if they're sure they don't want any more. Some women act on that and have more, some stop when their circumstances mean that another child would negatively affect their life to a large degree. Thank goodness for contraceptives and abortions, so we can make the choice!

That's what is making me come to terms with not having more, i know that another child would mean everyone giving up luxuries to afford it. I'm happy to give up these things for myself (holidays, hobbies, outings etc) but I'm not happy for my current children to go without these things. We were so poor when I had DD that I live in fear of going back to that.

I'm sorry to all the posters who have really struggled with pregnancy and giving birth. I don't enjoy being pregnant (although I'm somehow missing it now even though I know I don't like it!) I actually love giving birth and am lucky that I've only had one difficult birth and even that could have done much worse.

I have had losses between DD and DS1 so until the 20 week scan I am an anxious mess. But I feel like that was quickly forgotten once I get the all clear.

If I could just keep having babies with no worries I feel like I'd go until I had 5... but who knows, maybe once I got to five I'd think an even six sounded good and so on.

After DC3, we definitely felt complete.

Six months later we had condom failure while I was EBF and DC4 who really completed our family. Perfect in fact, two boys and two girls.

I had a coil fitted, happy days until three years later I was pregnant with DC5.

Had my tubes tied after that. Definitely done.

And whilst I wouldn't be without DC4 and DC5, if you are really done then I strongly advise a vasectomy/tubal ligation unless you are ok with a 'happy surprise'. Or two.

I always wanted 3, dh wanted 2.

After 2 he wanted to get a vasectomy but I wasn't happy, I needed to get to that point myself. So I got a mirena coil. I went about making my peace with stopping at 2, had dd1 and ds. Then my childminder got pregnant with her number 3 and I was insanely jealous. Really struggled to hold it together. I was having therapy for PND and we talked it over a lot, and I got back to my point of acceptance.

I'd been ill with a kidney problem in my pg with ds and had been in a lot of pain with renal colic. It had all settled down ok afterwards and by the time he was 1 it was back to normal.

Then I got a kidney stone. I just knew.

Called dh to pick up a pregnancy test on his way home from work and he was all "no way!". But I was pregnant. Turns out my smear had pulled the cords of the mirena and dislodged it into my cervix. I hadn't had a period since before ds was born, and on the scan I was about 12 weeks. Amazingly, I hadn't been sick.

We went ahead with it, there was never any other option for us. I was really unwell, my kidney reacted very badly and I was passing tiny kidney stones almost daily. This had to be the last pregnancy and dh had the snip when I was 5 months along. Even in the worst case scenario I wasn't getting pregnant again.

We lived very very remote (Scottish island) so for the last 2 weeks I was airlifted out and induced at 37 weeks, there was concern dd2 would be born with addictions to the strong painkillers I was on. But she was fine.

Now that one in a million failure of the mirena coil is 17 and at college training to be a beauty therapist. She's smart and funny and loving and we would never, ever, want to be without her.

I'm not sure I do feel 100% done. But we almost certainly are!

Having said that though, and whilst I am aware that I'm not in possession of the facts re your finances;

if you do want more DC, we have five and they have their holidays, hobbies and every thing their friends enjoy who have less siblings.
I am frugal for myself and DH re clothing, cars etc and that mitigates the cost of providing everything for the DC
We commit the cardinal sin in that our daughters age 8 and 12 share a room, but its large and I bought room dividers and they are happy sharing in the main.

Three is a lovely number of DC but one or two more with decent age gaps aren't really the drain on resources they can appear to be.

I will only have one at uni at any given time apart from when DC3 and 4 go but thats in ten years time, there is ample time to get promoted and/or save towards that.

Essentially, if you're not feeling done then maybe you're just not done.

When my dc3 was about 10-12 months old I suddenly realised that I couldn’t go through it all again (pregnancy, birth, sleepless nights, all the crying etc) I now feel ‘done’ and ready to enjoy the next stage with my children.

I had my tubes tied at 28 during my second C-section.
Of course this was 1972 when things were a lot different. C-section births were more risky then as all done under GA and the classical or longitudinal incision was used.Plus the fact my DS1 and myself had almost died during the first one.
Before started having babies I was quite happy to follow my mother who'd had five children until I discovered I was physically incapable of giving birth vaginally because of my small stature and narrow pelvis.
My mind was made up for me very early that this was not going to happen.

I feel completed 'done' after dc2 which is completely different to how I felt afted dc1. My family just feels complete and like nobody is missing. I'm skipping for joy to not be pregnant again (hated it) although result worth it a million times over. I'm looking forward to the next stage now and leaving nappies behind and watching them grow. I couldn't have another baby and the thought filla me wotj panic and makes me shudder. I think how you're feeling could.be hormonal but maybe not if you're still feeling that way when dc3 gets older.

fills me with*

I’m done. I feel like there isn’t anything I could imagine worse than being pregnant, breastfeeding or ‘starting again’ as youngest has started school now.

I love my kids and my family and don’t feel a need for anything more (plus I’m too excited about having my life back a little bit again)

I don’t. I would love at least one more but we both work full time and at my age I feel it would be unfair on the baby,

In the 1st lockdown when I almost lost my mind having to homeschool oldest and look after my toddler with no help for the majority of the day. I couldn’t do that with 3.

I have 4 Dc (2 teens from 1st relationship)
I was done at #2 as Dh had a vasectomy.
Dc 1 was a very prem baby, I then had a miscarriage, then Dc2.
I was v.sick (HG) in all 3 pregnancies and counted ourselves lucky.
I wouldve had more but didnt want to ' push our luck'.

That relationship ended.

Then I met my partner .
we have 2 Dc together.
I was sick in both pregnancies again (HG) but no complications, when my 4th was born ( A long hard birth!) I just knew my body had had enough.
I was 32 at the time but I was so done.

I have 2 and I'm done. I didn't have a good 2nd pregnancy so that's put me off having anymore.

I never thought I would have any so I'm happy with my 2

I always wanted 3 and as soon as dc3 was born I knew I was done. Dh suggested a 4th but I said no

My second is 5 months old, and when I found out I was pregnant (surprise baby) I felt like the last bit of the circle had clicked into place. When he was born I knew that was my last time.

I feel very done, I never ever want to be pregnant, give birth or breastfeed ever again! Looking forward to stopping breastfeeding whenever that happens, and seeing my two boys grow up.

I was done after dd1 was born, I was 15 when she was born. I was happy having just the one.
Fast forward 23 years and I found out I was 5 months pregnant. Shock is an understatement.
Dd2 is nearly 6 and I'm definitely DONE.

I don't feel done. I have 2 dds, aged 21 and 11, but I've always wanted a third. The only reason I'm done is because I miscarried my third pregnancy and have never got pregnant again. We haven't been actively trying, but we haven't been on any contraception either. It's been 9 years, so I reckon if it was going to happen it would have happened by now. I'm 42 now as well, so it's getting less and less likely. DH would be horrified if it happened now, but I'd be thrilled (however much I tell people I wouldn't want to go back to the baby stage- I so would!!!)

I had twins, which were no.3 & 4 for me and I knew when they were newborn that I wanted another. My 5th came along 3 years later and as soon as he was born I knew my family was complete. He's 14 now.

I didn't feel broody again until earlier this year when a friend had a baby and I suddenly really really wanted one. Luckily my DP (he's not my kids dad) had had a vasectomy a long time ago. The feeling wore off and I think I'm peri-menopausal so it my body was telling me to get in there quick for a final go! 😂 But no, I'm 45 and I like my sleep too much!

I have 2, (7 and 4). We only planned to have two and I felt done after giving birth to the second. But now, 4 years later, I feel broody again. It's a bit of a shock to feel like this, and is confusing me a lot as our life was on a certain trajectory and now I'm not sure. I'm not even sure if I do want another when I consider all aspects of it, but I am broody. I'm just planning to see if it passes.

@ZednotZee what are the odds 😱 you're making me regret my refusing tubal ligation during my last c section 3 months ago. How did you cope with two extra babies? I bet there's so much fun in your hone❤️