I wish I didn’t feel so jealous of my ex DH this weekend

[thefourgp]

He hardly has anything to do with our children and is just back from a holiday abroad with his girlfriend. I was meant to have a date, with the first guy in four years I really like, on Friday night and I’ve had to postpone because there’s been a covid outbreak in my eldest child’s class at school. He got a high temperature Thursday night, cough on Friday morning and we’re awaiting his PCR test result.
I’m so disappointed about postponing my date. We’ve already had to postpone before for other reasons. My ex lives like a childless man and I do EVERYTHING for them. The kids are so used to hardly seeing him it’s their normal.
I just wanted one night of flirting, adult conversation, maybe even sex. Urgh…fed up.

:( I may have to postpone a date tomorrow too (pending covid test) and feel a bit bummed out too. Sorry single parenting is tough, understandable you are fed up. Hope the meetup is lovely when it happens :) lots of time to build up flirtiness :)

My ex leads a similar life so I feel your pain, it makes it hard for me to have any kind of social life and if I complain about it he says “ your the one that decided to go it alone” because I kicked him out. He hasn’t had the kids over night since he left 6 years ago.

It sucks doesn’t it. You choose not to be in a relationship with them and they use it as yet another excuse not to be responsible for their children. My ex told his brother when we separated that there’s no way he’d look after them overnight or on weekends because he doesn’t want me to have a social life. The kids think he’s great and I fucking hate it but I’m not going to put them in an awkward position of bad mouthing him to them. He does what he wants when he wants and it’s just not fair. On the few hours he sees them each month he puts photos of them all together on social media making out like he’s a great dad and it’s infuriating.
Bless my mum, I’d be lost without her and she helps me when she can.
But I’m really craving a romantic relationship and I was so hopeful about Friday night.

That’s so shit and you all deserve better.

Have some whichever helps a little.

@thefourgp

It sucks doesn’t it. You choose not to be in a relationship with them and they use it as yet another excuse not to be responsible for their children. My ex told his brother when we separated that there’s no way he’d look after them overnight or on weekends because he doesn’t want me to have a social life. The kids think he’s great and I fucking hate it but I’m not going to put them in an awkward position of bad mouthing him to them. He does what he wants when he wants and it’s just not fair. On the few hours he sees them each month he puts photos of them all together on social media making out like he’s a great dad and it’s infuriating. Bless my mum, I’d be lost without her and she helps me when she can. But I’m really craving a romantic relationship and I was so hopeful about Friday night.

Oh yes it's not easy for us mothers. Mine has seen our child for the bare minimum of contact since we split years ago and now this year he has only texted, no visits!

On Instagram he portrays himself as the most wonderful talented man on earth regularly raises money for charity...if only they knew the real person!!

I think people are starting to wise up to HD dead beat dads. I know I never think good things about dads who post all about their kids on SM. For me, it’s a sign they do very little for and with their kids. Your kids will probably wise upon a few years too

None of that really helps you now !! But here’s and a well done to you. Hope you manage to get that date soon. Also hope you are claiming cms

That’s crap. I’m sorry xx you sound A great mum for what it’s worth x

On the same boat as you. My ex hasn't seen the kids for a year. To go on a date I need a sitter..its just so shit!

@thefourgp

It sucks doesn’t it. You choose not to be in a relationship with them and they use it as yet another excuse not to be responsible for their children. My ex told his brother when we separated that there’s no way he’d look after them overnight or on weekends because he doesn’t want me to have a social life. The kids think he’s great and I fucking hate it but I’m not going to put them in an awkward position of bad mouthing him to them. He does what he wants when he wants and it’s just not fair. On the few hours he sees them each month he puts photos of them all together on social media making out like he’s a great dad and it’s infuriating. Bless my mum, I’d be lost without her and she helps me when she can. But I’m really craving a romantic relationship and I was so hopeful about Friday night.

Yep, my kids think there dads great too, he sees them for a few hours on a Sunday, takes them to McDonald’s and drags them around a supermarket with his gf to do the food shop (hardly great parenting), he’s taken no time off work to look after the, during the school holidays, never has them over night and I have even struggled to care for them after having surgery (twice). Yet my kids make excuses for him.

I’m not sure what’s worse. Having kids who miss their dad and feel sad about him being such a crap parent or having kids who barely notice how little effort he makes and accept him as their role model of what a father should be. I don’t want my boys ever treating their children likes he treats them. I do claim CMS because otherwise I wouldn’t get anything from him. In four years I’ve only asked him once for extra cash to go halves with me on an expensive school trip (£150 each) and he said he couldn’t afford it then went on a two week holiday abroad with his girlfriend. He just doesn’t really care about them or want to spend much time with them. He’s always be bitter about me ending our relationship and will do whatever he can to make my life difficult. I envy women who equally share parental responsibilities with a current or ex partner. It makes life so much easier.

My ex rarely saw our DC after we split and flatly refused to take them overnight saying - and I quote - I’m not a fucking babysitter . After a while they didn’t bother. They are now adults and have hardly any relationship with him and he wonders why they don’t want to help him now he some health issues !

I think my youngest will be like yours and have nothing to do with him when he’s older but I’m not so sure about my eldest. He makes excuses for his dad like Lovemusic’s children.