Next of kin/emergency contact

[LegendaryReady]

Dh died a few months ago. It's amazing how many things crop up, that you've never realised you need to consider.

The latest one is the annual update of emergency contacts for work. Previously DH, natirally. Now my choices are parents in late 70s, 18yo DS or my sister who lives 300 miles away.

None seem ideal. None seem fair on them TBH. Who would you put?

Although she’s a distance away, I’d go with your sister, I think it’s a hell of a responsibility to put onto your child (even tho technically of adult age). First contact is made by phone in 99.9% of times, and fingers crossed will never be needed anyway

You have to think about why they might be called. If you had eg. A heart attack who would you want there? What about if you had a mental health issue? What if you needed to be picked up from work for some reason? Who could deal with a legal or financial issue best?

It's not an easy answer, it depends on how close you are to them, what your relationship is like, their personalities and how they respond to stress, and also proximity and things like access to a car or alternative transport, money and other resources.

Yes that's why I'm dithering. TBH I'm not sure any of them would be much use to me in a crisis!

It doesn't have to be a relative. The person you nominate is never going to be asked to make medical or financial decisions on your behalf, it would be more about who your workplace would notify if, for eg you were rushed to hospital and they need a point of contact. A good friend who can contact your children, parents might be ideal as they are a bit detached and can be calm and supportive to you and more vulnerable family members.