Splitting housework and all that

[Anycrispsleft]

I'm going back to work full time soon after basically having been at home with my kids for the last 9 years. I wanted to ask for advice on successfully splitting the housework, as we have basically no experience of doing that while we've had kids. Anyone got any tips?

I was thinking to try and make a list of all the stuff I do. It's going to be things like doctor's appointments and stuff that will be a real pain, because you kind of have to delegate that 100 percent or not at all.

Does anyone use those cook companies like HelloFresh? I don't know if it would be much use to us as you still have to cook the bloody thing.

We both work full time. Dh WFM but commutes into London some days. I work around 50 hrs but also have 1hr commute each way.

Dh does:
Washing
Bins
Garden
Dinners 5/7
Pack dishwasher
groceries
Afternoon pick ups if needed

I do a sweep of the house each morning which is:
Throw cleaner at the loo
Wipe bathrooms
Wipe surfaces and dust
Sweep
Fold washing and distribute
Tidy detritus from previous day
Un pack dishwasher
Dinners 2/7
Hoover
Organise kids out the door to school.

This generally takes no more than 30 mins each day and is easy to fit in.

We both ferry children to appointments if needed, but I generally book them (takes minutes) then add them in the calendar (where my shifts and his WOH days are written) They are generally booked on my days off (work weekends so have two weekdays off!) but not always.
We both keep on top of the kitchen sides. Dogs get walked by whoever each day.

Generally this routine means the house is at a functional level!
For example, today kids are out the door, my jobs are done, dh already has the washing on. So house is tidy and I am mumsnetting whilst having my second coffee, about to go up for a shower and head to work. Dh has already logged on.

I realise I am lucky tho, as dh more than pulls his weight!

Oh re hello fresh, I have never used it. For us, it doesn't save time and is an added expense. The air fryer is amazing as you throw it in and walk away. As is the slow cooker.

Re. School news/club activities/doctors etc. I would advise you to use a joint email account (if you don’t have one already). That way both you and your DH are in the know and it doesn’t fall onto one person (mental load and all that). Also, get a wall calendar and write everything down!!

I also had a long break at home (12 years) and it took a lot of adjustment for everyone- I was the default parent for everything. When I first started working, DH used to constantly wind me up asking questions about this and that (he never wrote anything down, just relied on me); I now direct him to emails/wall calendar, although over the years he has got better. We now share appointments etc.

As your children get older, get them to help out more too! I expect all my DC to clean/tidy up after themselves (and DH too). DH does his own washing, I do the kids and their bedding but they’re responsible for stripping/making their own beds/putting clothes away.

Unfortunately, cooking is a chore. I do batch cook a lot and freeze, which helps. I generally cook during the week and DH at weekends. Never used a food box though; I go shopping but I don’t actually mind this.

Good luck!

That is an absolutely boss idea with the email address! I will get DH put on the school info app as well. No reason he should escape that joy.

What do you batch cook @Puffinhead ? I do bolognese and chilli, I could do some curry as well...

I would never use hello fresh because we actively cook with our son. We want him to be able to cook his own food. We want him to be able to cook fresh every day and eat healthy.

We do not split it. Seriously my husband has eyes. He can see that the Laundry needs to be done, or that he needs to vacume. No plan or anything. We just play it by ear.

Get a cleaner! Not being flippant, if you afford it it means your weekends are free.

@idontlikealdi

Get a cleaner! Not being flippant, if you afford it it means your weekends are free.

I am totally getting a cleaner. We had one when the kids were little and she did the bathroom and kitchen, hoovered and dusted once a week. She was great. We moved to another country since then otherwise I would totally try and get in touch with her.

Get a cleaner
Get a supermarket delivery slot
Try Gousto maybe (Hello Fresh is shit IMO)
Limit dc to 2 clubs / lessons per week each
Calender, if its not on there it doesn't happen
Split jobs clearly - you cook, DP does washing or whatever if necessary (some people seem to have a blind spot to housework, if yours does then be prescriptive)
Minimise clutter / junk / letters arriving etc, streamline your lives as much as possible
Good luck with it all

Cozi family calendar app - colour coded for each person, everyone can see it. Also has shopping lists.

@Anycrispsleft, bolognese and chilli are my go to meals too, any variation of mince!

I make A LOT of soups too and freeze them - serve with (frozen) pizza. gives everyone a big veg hit (important with fussy teens). Also, I’ll freeze portions of mashed potato and stews. Basically, if I have any leftovers they’ll get put in the freezer.

I keep meals very straightforward during the week - jars of curry sauce, mince, pasta,, chicken kievs etc. Basic meals really,

Watching with interest as am going back to work after 4 yrs at home.

I’m going to delegate most food related stuff to DH as I know he will prioritise food! Everything else, not so sure.

The daily/weekly household tasks are actually fairly easy to split or outsource. It’s the random things that pop up and need remembering or dealing with that are going to end up on my plate. Medical appointments, fixing/buying stuff, school requests, new clothes etc. And anything involving friends (playdates, social life, birthday parties) as DH doesn’t really know any of the school parents 🙄

Yeah @minipie we are trying to make a list of all the things that need fixed or bought right now, so we can deal with them while DH is still WFH and I am still off. It was quite funny actually - for once he was present while the kids went through their winter clothes and he got to see exactly how much stuff needs replaced. I think in the past he's really not grasped that they basically need their entire wardrobe replacing every 6 months, that they'll have worn out or outgrown everything from the year before. But those random jobs are going to be the difficult bit to delegate, you're right.

For me, one of the difficulties is that I'll probably be working an early day so I can be back for the kids after school. Here in Germany, school is half day, and after school care takes you to 3pm only. So I should be able to work from 7 to 4 or something like that... but that means I will be in before DH and it would be easy and knackering for me to just do everything then when I come in. We need a system so I don't end up just doing two shifts.