Handhold my lovely mum has months to live

[workdramas]

Just that really. I'm beside myself.
My lovely big hearted mother won't see my baby and 4 year old grow. She's my best friend. She developed a cough and it took a while before the doctor would see her because of covid. Just 3 weeks later after an x ray we are told it's stage 4 cancer and she has months left. You see these things in movies but it's happening to my lovely mum. Life is so unfair. I'm broken. I don't really have family and not many friends. I just do happened to choose crappy friends and none of my good friends live near. I have my husband but we have had our issues and he's never been a great emotional support.
This is going to break me. Is there somewhere I can get help. Honestly I'm going to need help. I need someone to talk to.

I am so, so sorry. Give your time to your Mum and dont use now to deal with your husband.

If your mum goes to a hospice you’ll find they also support you and direct you to further support. X

Contact Macmillan Nurses. They support families as well as patients. I'm very sorry.

I hope you get the chance to spend as much time as you can with your mum before you lose her. I hope you can make some new memories with her if she is well enough.
Get lots of pics and videos too of your happy memories so that you have her voice to listen to later to make you smile and remember some of the good times you had together.
My thoughts are with you.

So sorry.
Do you want to tell us about your lovely mum?

Oh honey, I've been there and done that. You'll be amazed at what you can handle in the coming months.

I agree with the time thing. Make sure you get to spend as much time as possible with your mum.

If she gets hospice support (you can get hospice at home support, she doesn't need to be an inpatient) the nurses are there to help you too.

I would say now, that the hospice isn't as scary as you think. I wish we'd have got the hospice involved sooner. We also had district nurses and they were bloody awesome. There's is nothing a district nurse can't do.

I would ask for referrals to both district nurses and the hospice asap.

You could also start some counselling now, I wish I had.

I hope you get to spend some time with your mum, that it's loving and peaceful and as pain free as possible.

I'm so sorry. The same happened to me five years ago.

The Hospice was amazing. Try to visit early and develop a relationship as they made my Mum's last days so much better. Hospice is a hundred times better than being at home.

Spend time with your Mum and talk about good times, ask questions about family history etc.

Lots of love to you all

I am so so sorry.

You’ll get through this. It’s hard but you will.

Take lots of photos and videos. Make memories (as much as I hate that phrase).

Thinking of you.

And echoing what others have said. The hospice was amazing.

Thanks everyone. I don't live Near and my wee girl just started school so it's hard for me to be with her. DH is a shift worker too. It's not going to be easy.
How do I get counselling? I'm so afraid to have a life without her.

My mum is level headed and gives me the best advice. She totally gets it, she totally gets all situations.
She loves my children more than anything in the world. She would spend an entire day playing with my daughter and always on hand for my baby and is the best at it. She is so patient even when my eldest is difficult. She saw my 4 year old going to school on her first day. We knew at that time it was cancer but not the extent to how it had spread. I'll never forget how she looked that day. She looked at her like it was the last time with tears in her eyes. I saw it that day. Why do bad things happen to good people? She lost her mum the year before. It's so unfair. In tears writing this.

So sorry to hear this. Life just truly sucks at times. I lost my dad last year and I am still struggling with this every day, my little ones keep me distracted which helps.

My mum also has stage 4 cancer, she is doing ok at the moment but things could change at any point so constantly up in the air.

If you need to chat feel free to message x

@mumboss1984

So sorry to hear this. Life just truly sucks at times. I lost my dad last year and I am still struggling with this every day, my little ones keep me distracted which helps.

My mum also has stage 4 cancer, she is doing ok at the moment but things could change at any point so constantly up in the air.

If you need to chat feel free to message x

@mumboss1984 I would really like to talk. Can you message me or something? I'm not sure how to do it on here. I'm sorry for your loss and to hear you're going through this too. X

I have just sent you a message x

Your mum sounds wonderful.

I feel for you OP.
I lost my mum years ago but I haven't got over it, I just learned (over time) to live with it. Like a scar.
She never saw my children, but I make sure they know lots about her!!
Spend lots of time with your mum, ask her lots about her history- start a journal if it helps. I started recording my family tree. Tell her how much you love her and how she's helped you become the mum that you are.
Years on, what's strange is looking in the mirror and seeing her in my face 🙂
And I find myself saying the funny things she used to say. They go in my book with the family history stuff.
All the best OP 🌹she sounds a lovely mum

I lost my mum 2 1/2 years ago, we all of a sudden also had very little time. My son was three at the time and she died as he was settling in at school.

It's so hard. We found a hospice near us and my dad stayed with us for the duration (just shy of a month). That way it was easier for me to combine seeing her and still being there for my family.

Much love to you for the time to come x

How are you doing?