Pfizer vaccine- scared of second dose?

[KateEC91]

Before I start- I don’t want to scare anyone, so please consider not reading this if you have healthy anxiety or are triggered by talk of the vaccines.
So... I’m pro ‘do what works for you’ when it comes to everything, including vaccines. I don’t judge anyone’s choices. However, I struggle with health anxiety and am currently in a complete panic over having my second Pfizer dose.
I’ve had the first Pfizer dose with no concerns, but have come across various articles, all from reliable sources, of some pretty concerning effects (including fatal) from the Pfizer vaccine. The numbers are very small and are from all over the world, but anxiety sufferers will know that when they’re anxious, statistics dont help.
My Mum was recently told about a woman who tragically passed away following a covid vaccination.
I have an 18 month old son and have become absolutely consumed with the fear that that could be me too. I’m also fully aware that despite being relatively young (30), I could still pass away if I caught covid.
I want to do the right thing by my elderly relatives and my son, but selfishly I am panicked by the thought of having the vaccine too. My son is everything to me and any risk with the potential to result in not being with him is hell on earth.
Has anyone felt similiarly? What helped you?

On a separate note, my period completely changed after the first jab which really worried me. I was always 28 days- i’m now 21, then 32, then 24. I have this awful thought that the vaccine obviously meddled with my system- i’m beside myself with fear that the second dose could do worse.

Apologies on sounding so selfish. I just don’t know what to do and am spending most days in a complete panicked haze thinking... I could get the vaccine and die or get covid and die. My anxiety can’t see a safe way out :( I suffered PND for most of my sons first year and now that things are great, I’m scared of losing it all.

The vaccine is not compulsory. My family are not having it. You have to make an informed choice to have it or not to have it. As you’ve had the first one you may as well have the second one.

I know at least 50 people who have had both doses and are fine. Have a look at the statistics around hospitalised people in America and vaccination status. It's very alarming how many unvaccinated are in hospital with Covid.
My sister is a nurse in a central London teaching hospital. She doesn't go into specific details but her ICU is full of unvaccinated people.
Just get the second jab and remember it will be over in seconds even if you get side effects they won't last.
The world is full of fully vaccinated people just getting on with their lives.
I know two people with long Covid one of whom has had to give up his business and go back to live with his mum.
Also - have you noticed these scary vaccination stories are always someone some person heard of from someone else?

Two Pfizer doses here, second was in May. Im absolutely fine. Very little by way of side effects. Sore arm mainly, same as the flu jab!
But you obviously need to do whats right for you
(Should have said im in a vulnerable category)

Have you compared the numbers with the side effects of covid?

Those also include death. I'm much bigger numbers

1. You are more likely to suffer health issues/hospitalisation and death as a result of catching Covid than you are from getting the vaccine
2. If you've not had any serious side effects/reactions from first vaccine, then it's very unlikely you'll get one from your second. Your periods will right themselves eventually
3. To be better protected from the Delta variant you need both doses. One is not enough.

Do the responsible thing by your child and get yourself protected as best you can

I’m going to get the vaccine tomorrow and am absolutely petrified. Keep having awful thoughts swirling around my head of being taken unwell soon after and not seeing my son again. I really really hope that in a months time, I can look back at this and breathe a sigh of relief. So jealous of all the people who can get the vaccines without a moment’s hesitation. I’d love to know what that felt like!

I've had two lots of Pfizer jabs, and was absolutely fine both times.
Easier said than done I know but try not to worry, I mean the media only tend to tell you about extreme cases, the vast majority like myself aren't newsworthy enough to make the headlines!

Just seen your update, as the saying goes, '' be reet''
In other words, it'll be fine

For me unhesitatingly getting the vaccine = “according to my consultant at the moment if I get Covid I’ve about a 95% chance of ending up in hospital - & a 5-10% chance of (eventually) making it back out again”. But I was in the CEV group & advised last summer to only relax things as far as putting things in my outdoor bins - in my front garden - & that only as long as I wore a mask, socially distanced if I saw a neighbour, & washed thoroughly when I got back into the house. I was still having to go to lots of in-person hospital appointments though: even with an N99 mask having to spend hours in the haematology day unit (for example) was, quite frankly terrifying.

That said, I have immense sympathy for how you’re feeling. Basically your mind is picking on you; & that’s very difficult to get away from. As PP have said, being double-jabbed offers really important protection against the Delta variant; & if you were ok after the first jab, you’re unlikely to have any serious side-effects from the second. Nobody can promise you it’s totally safe. But literally nothing is, so you need to do the risk-benefit analysis, just as you have.

Have you anything that helps you manage your anxiety when it’s particularly bad? It’s good that you’ve been able to identify your concerns as being magnified by your anxiety & decide that it’s reasonable to get the second jab - don’t lose sight of that. (I really hope that doesn’t sound patronising, some of my favourite people have anxiety; & I know that it’s easy to get caught up in what feels like being totally out of control &/or lost & not be able to acknowledge where you’ve done something positive/pushed back.)

If you found it gave you a sore arm it might help you to use an icepack on your arm before the injection as well as after. (Am just thinking that i. it’ll give you something to do/focus on while you wait ii. it gives you a bodily sensation to control/reflect on [do you ever use grounding to help manage your anxiety? 4-3-2-1?] & iii. if your arm’s not so sore afterwards hopefully you’ll be able to keep your mind away from worrying quite so much as you’ll not have that physical prompt/trigger [I know it’s not that simple, but…]).

I hope it all goes ok.

Thank you all so much for being so kind. I really appreciate it. My family can get pretty fed up with the thoughts in my head, understandably so, so I was really anxious that my initial post could provoke the same response here.
I didn’t sleep well last night- I get intrusive thoughts and they’ve been particularly difficult to shift.
The appt for my second dose was cancelled which I instantly took as a sign to not get the vaccine. However;

• I bought flowers yesterday. I always buy white. I bought pink. My Mum wore pink to her Grandmothers funeral and my anxious brain found a link and also told me that’s a sign.
• Yesterday I put on an old family DVD because I missed my Dad and wanted to see him. My mind is saying that the vaccine could mean I see him sooner than I think.
• I woke this morning to my partners pillow propped up beside me casting a shadow... brain decides the shadow looks like the grim reaper.

@MarieVanGoethem I am so sorry that your experience the past 18 months has been so difficult and frightening. You more than anyone had every right to tell me how pathetic I’m being. Thank you for so much really useful advice. I did use 4321 when I was in the grips of post natal depression, but don’t so much now. Thank you for the reminder. I know the side effects experienced by those poor people who didn’t make it, so my brain is already expecting those. Your suggestion of using an ice pack is a great one- thank you. My arm was achey for a couple of days before, so that could really help. Distraction is always a good thing. I’m so fortunate that my best friend wants her second vaccine today and so we’re going together. She has no idea how I feel. She has 2 young children herself and so I can’t tell her my fears through fear of influencing her. I’m hoping that because I’m not allowed to feel scared around her, this will help. My little boy has just woken up, an hour early, and I already have tears in my eyes. Another brain moment... maybe he woke earlier so that you can have some extra time together. :(

Sorry to be late/slow replying to you: bit of a busy morning.

I’m glad you’ve found people’s responses here helpful/comforting - maybe reread them if you find yourself having a big swell of anxiety & needing some extra help to distract &/or ground yourself?

Have you ever had any CBT? I’m just wondering if it might help you when it comes to challenging some of the thoughts & fears you have. Because while they’re very real - & must be horrific to go through - you might be able to CBT your way out of them (as it were). That’s not me saying they’re silly or you should be able to just shrug them off - they might not make logical sense, but that must just make them more frightening, because it’s so isolating.

You can absolutely ignore these suggestions, but I’m hoping they might help you push back against the anxiety a wee bit:
• Pink flowers mean love, happiness & gentleness: all of those are things you could do with in your life just now; & they’re all things you need to allow/give yourself.
• Being able to remind yourself of your dad by watching the DVD is a wonderful gift but grief is painful & doesn’t work to a nice timetable. Not being able to reach out & touch someone so loved; that craving for Just Five Minutes More… he isn’t truly gone as he is remembered, missed & loved - but squirly griefbrain does strange things, including pushing consideration of our own mortality.
• If there is a Grim Reaper/anthropomorphised Death who rocks up shunt souls along, we’ve no idea what it actually looks like. The Easter Bunny might do it in their off-season. If it was someone just wafting a sickle about it could have been St Notburga (patron saint of chickens & evening relaxation - & in fact she’s currently hanging out in skeletal form in a Tirolean church) or it might’ve been one of the skeletons from Funny Bones on an adventure… well, really it’s your brain being VERY mean & making the shadow into something scary rather than something sweet, but…
• Your wee man woke up early because Sometimes Children Do That. MAYBE if you’d not really any sleep he may have picked up on something in a sleep phase where easily roused, but maybe his sleep pattern is changing, maybe it was a noise outside, maybe he’d an odd dream & it broke up his sleep… you are his absolute world so if he stirs & finds you awake he’ll likely wake himself properly for extra time with you not for any sinister reason but because he’s at the age where he always wants to hang out with you.

I’m glad you’re able to go with your friend today. And you’re not being pathetic. Anxiety is a dreadful thing; & it’s woefully misunderstood on top of that. I hope icing your arm helps & that 4-3-2-1 is useful. Try to hold on to the fact that you’ve had the first jab & been ok after that; & try not to let yourself hyperfocus on bodily sensations/possible side-effects.

Please don’t be afraid to keep talking/seeking support here if that’s helpful. Do you have much real life support? It sounds as if things are a bit overwhelming just now - is your GP aware?

I'm a vaccinator and I can tell you that if you have had the first vaccine with no problems then the second one should be ok too. You are statistically more likely to get covid / complications of Covid than you are to have a life threatening/ serious complication from the vaccine. Ultimately it's your choice. But given that 10 of the 12 cases in my husbands ITU at the moment are unvaccinated including a young lady under 30, previously fit and well, I would get that vaccine.

Hi OP

I hope you see this - I am due to have my first vaccine today and I’m so distressed. I have a son and I can’t stop thinking of him growing up without me, then I panic that I’ve put that out into the universe and it’ll happen - I’m taking everything as a sign - this morning my DH didn’t chat to me as he was too busy and I thought oh god he’ll regret that later if something happens. I have OCD I think you should look into this as your thoughts seem intrusive alongside the symptoms of OCD.

I hope I am ok and you are too.

Something I learaned from CBT was to make a list of positive statements that I can repeat to myself if I go on an anxiety spiral. When a scary thought pops up, do some slow breathing and repeat a positive statement 5 times.

Some ideas:
Having this vaccine offers me the best protection against Covid.
Getting this vaccine protects my son by contributing to lower transmission rates within society.
In 3 weeks, I'll have reached full immunity.
This vaccine will be given in a setting where people can help if things go wrong.

I can definintely recommend apps like Calm or Headspace for helping you get through severe anxiety too. They have specific meditations for anxiety and fear which can be amazing at disrupting negative spirals.

So did you get the second shot and have you been ok? i am feeling the same way. i have extreme anxiety and all i can think about its something happening to me after the second dose and leaving my son

I totally understand op. I am the same. I have awful health anxiety (am having help for it) and have been petrified of both Covid and equally of the vaccines. I have only had the first Pfizer (next is due end of the month). I am trying to rationalise it by telling myself that I know several people (including an unvaccinated 21 year old) who have died from Covid yet I know of no one who has died from complications of the vaccine.
It truly has been a terrible time for so many including health anxiety sufferers as every corner we turn there seems to be something to challenge our fears and test us to the limit.

I feel the same way about my Pfizer second, how did you get on?

@Goquietly
I was petrified, genuinely, but I was fine. I had an soreness in my sides and back for a few days afterwards which panicked me, but I think it was tension pain from being so anxious.
I would have the booster now which says something and I wouldn’t be worried either.

That’s really reassuring to hear, thank you!