DD dropped from her team

[RapQueen]

My DD has participated in a team sport since she was 6, she is now nearly 13. She was with a club for a few years, due to Covid there were no games or training sessions for a long time, then there were changes within the coaching team and some of her friends left so she didn't want to stay at the club but wanted to continue with the sport.

We arranged a trial with another local club and she got a place on one of their teams. All was good for a few months until some changes within the club meant they didn't have enough players for the team in the next age group up so my DDs team were moved up to fill these spaces. DD was delighted as she felt she was developing her game and playing against tougher opponents.

Last week we got told out of the blue that DD was being dropped from the team along with 4/5 other girls. DD is absolutely devastated and feels a bit worthless, like she's not good enough. I'm so sad for DD but I feel pretty angry about it as well.

I've looked for another team, no local clubs have any spaces and the club she was at before have said they can't ( or won't?) take her back. I've arranged a trial with a club that's a bit farther away but travelling is going to be an issue.

Hoping for some advice on how best to support my DD through this and help rebuild her confidence which is in tatters right now.

Thanks for reading.

I think you need to find out why she was dropped. Have they more players of the correct age? Are they planning to field a team of her age group? Is she still allowed to train with a view to being in the team next year?

If it’s down to ability then unfortunately that is the nature of team sports. If you aren’t as good as other you will be dropped.

However, it sounds like from what you have said that they allowed younger girls to take part when they didn’t have the numbers for the older age group team but now they have so they have let your daughter and the younger girls go. That’s fair enough but an understandable disappointment for your daughter.

I can understand her old club not taking her back. By leaving and going elsewhere she was saying that she didn't want to be in that club any more. If they took her in again they might have to drop someone else for her, and that would make some other girl feel like your DD does now.

It's not personal to DD if others were dropped at the same time, but she deserves an explanation for why she's been dropped, and the club should have been kind while they were delivering it. You wouldn't be unreasonable to ask why if no explanation was given.

@TheWordsmithsApprentice

The only reason I've been given so far is that they had to reduce the squad size. I have asked for a further explanation of why my DD has been chosen in particular. No reply as yet.

They do still have a team at her age group but this team is full and she won't be eligible to play for them anyway once this season finishes. She won't be continuing to train, she's pretty much kicked out.

@Mariell I do understand that these things happen especially once it gets to a competitive level. The girls who have been kept in the team are mostly older, more experienced and some of them have been playing at a more competitive level (performance) so I get it that the coaches want to win and will keep the players most likely to achieve that.

My DD and her team were moved up early to ensure that the club would have a team at that age group, they were doing really well at their previous level but haven't had the same opportunity to gain experience and develop due to being moved early. There was also no mention that this might happen when the team were asked to move up. I think my DD feels a bit used, she was good enough when they didn't have anyone else.

I think it's very unfair to move her up an age group (for the older team's benefit) and then drop her. The sports teams my kids are involved with would never do that. I hope you find a solution, or a suitable new team. If there are no spaces, would another team be willing to give her a "training only" place for the moment? One of my daughters did this, and was allowed to play in friendlies though not league fixtures, then a space came up the following season.

@mocktail

My DDs previous club would never have done this either, actually kicking myself that we moved. Just goes to show that the grass definitely isn't always greener.

In recent weeks, a few local teams at the higher age group have folded due to not having enough players. So now there are quite a few girls looking for spaces but not many teams available. I've asked about a training only spot at a couple of clubs but they said they don't have enough coaches to cover the extra girls.