How to help very ill alcohol dependant relative in awkward and delicate situation.

[Brighterblighter]

I have a relative who I feel will drink themselves to death soon, I can't see how they can sustain the volume of alcohol they drink for much longer.
The person is constantly at war with themselves from putting up with and asked to put up with dreadful behaviour from siblings to keep the peace e and almost used by well meaning parents to support other siblings with issues.. The dad is well meaning but in cloud cukoo land and can't understand the dynamics of what goes on..

I can't see a way through to help this person... If you said they had a smudge of mascara that would set them off on a massive rant.. And they would be mortally offended. The whole family radiates around this wealthy sibling who dominates and is cruel to other family members.

This dominating sibling who has been Vile to me has reached out about this person on a separate issue.

I want to say to them... Get and pay for urgent help now but that's also then colluding with this person whose damaged the siblings mental health over the years! But they are probably the only person in a position to pay and possibly instigate support... But its like the last person to trust with such a delicate operation at the same time.

If it was in my hands I'd say this person needs instant admittance to somewhere like the priory etc. This family has recently lost a sibling /daughter...

Is this relative showing health issues? Tremors or seizures, not eating, weight loss, poor hygiene, injuring themselves while drunk?

The description of several bottles of wine in one go, is that evening drinking or are they drinking before they get out of bed?

We have a relative who is drinking herself to death and it's very obvious that she's ill, she's been hospitalised several times following seizures and still refuses to accept she has an alcohol problem, in her mind the problem is that we're not understanding enough, not giving her enough money, etc etc, the seizures are because of (insert illogical reason here) she has claimed to be epileptic, has allergies that cause seizures or the seizures were not seizures and everyone in the NHS was wrong to diagnose seizures.

How would grief counselling help if she is drunk at the time of the sessions?

It is very hard to accept the truth, but you cannot 'cure' an alcoholic. It is not a money issue. You can send her to the most expensive rehab available and it won't help unless she wants it to.

Help would be ensuring she is eating,clean, seeing GP, not living in squalor and unfortunately there is fuck all else you can do.

I'm sorry it's a really shitty thing to have to watch but that is all you can do.

@lilmishap

Drinks for hours straight could start in the afternoon and just carry on all through the night into the next day, 11/ 12...

Has had cancer before.

Poor hygiene very beautiful used to take pride.

Sorry meant to add for the this horrendous experience.

OP, I am sorry, but your thought processes are not logical here.

I think they all know what the answer is and maybe they don't want to pay for it...

Money is not "the answer" here. There is no answer, except Lucy coming to a place where she genuinely wants to stop drinking. In the current situation, you could have Bezos's billions on hand and it wouldn't do a fucking thing.

Why don't you reach out to Lucy and tell her that when she's ready to seek help, you'll be there for her? You don't need money to do that. You don't need money to be there for her.

I say this compassionately, I really think the person in this situation who could benefit from counselling is you. You seem to want RichSib to pay out money to make up for what you feel she's done, but it doesn't work like that. Please consider getting your own head straight.