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I’m finally free!

17 replies

Ballbagisnotmyname · 29/08/2021 22:02

After posting on a thread a couple of months ago - tell me a secret - I admitted I wasn’t in love with my husband but I loved another man, (there was a reason for this) I was given some very blunt advice. Bit of backstory- I married my partner after being together 9 yrs, we had a daughter and he felt the need to be married, after only 14 months I caught him having an affair, there was also emotional abuse, we tried to work it out but 3 months later he walked out on us with no warning, he couldn’t cope with his own guilt and even went abroad for 10 months to avoid the marriage breakdown, leaving me to deal with everything. I moved on and was happily dating a guy that I fell in love with but knew it wasn’t anything more than a fling. 2 1/2 yrs after our split my husband begged for another chance to make a go of things, I was vulnerable after by dad passed away and stupidly agreed to take him back on the condition that he proved to me I could trust him again, we didn’t live together but he did nothing to get the relationship back on track and lo and behold I caught him out cheating again!
Just wanted to say Thankyou for the blunt advice that I was given as it make me open my eyes and realise what a mess my life had become. I’m now finding myself again and finally free from this useless waste of space - I don’t care that I’m single and nearly 50! I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time, I don’t even know why I’m posting but I just want to shout it out that I’m now free from this and life will be so much better from now on!

OP posts:
myheartskippedabeat · 29/08/2021 22:04

Oh bless you - you sound amazing and brave and a brilliant role model
You have done the right thing Smile

jelly79 · 29/08/2021 22:15

Love this! What a great feeling! Thank you for sharing x

Justilou1 · 29/08/2021 22:28

You chucked the rubbish out! Well done!!!

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Ballbagisnotmyname · 29/08/2021 22:30

Thankyou both! It broke me when we first split but I have fought hard to make myself the best mum for my little one, this time it’s different and I want to shout it out loud and proud!

OP posts:
ABitOfAShitShow · 29/08/2021 22:33

Boom! Well done, you! Love a story like this. Smile

pickingdaisies · 29/08/2021 22:33

Don't recall your earlier thread, but bloody well done OP!

PieceOfString · 29/08/2021 22:33

Wow! So great you came back to share. Go power of Mumsnet and hats off to you for taking some tough talking and turning it into powerful change. Bring on the future. Flowers

Ballbagisnotmyname · 29/08/2021 22:57

It was the blunt talking to that I needed! I realised what an awful situation I had gotten myself into and not realised at the time, I normally hide in the shadows of mumsnet but just wanted to share that things can change for the better!

OP posts:
JackieQueen · 29/08/2021 23:32

Good for you!Flowers

willowtree81 · 29/08/2021 23:34

Well done!!!! Bring on the happiness 😍

Calmate · 29/08/2021 23:42

@Ballbagisnotmyname
Was your ex difficult to shake off, OP? I was interested when you said he came back begging for another chance, as I've had this too. My ex still phones & texts most days, and if I'm not around to answer, or driving, he sends voicemails asking what I'm doing! As if it's any of his business, why am I still taking his calls? I feel sorry for the $*&^£, and if I'm really honest, I feel smug that he's not happy.

Ballbagisnotmyname · 29/08/2021 23:48

@Calmate I’m very lucky that he left me alone - buggering off to China for the first 10 months made it easy! He kept asking how I was and what I was doing but I just kept saying it was none of his business! My dad had passed away and he saw an opportunity to crawl back in which I stupidly agreed to.

OP posts:
Calmate · 30/08/2021 00:00

@Ballbagisnotmyname
Well done ! You have to be cruel to be kind by sending him packing, and in doing so, you've been kind to yourself. Last time i ignored my ex's calls for a week though, he turned up on my doorstep in tears, although this was when i was in rented accommodation, I've since bought a house & he doesn't know the address.

Ifyouarehappyandyouknowit21 · 30/08/2021 00:11

I'm so happy for you. Enjoy your new life of freedom. 🍾🥂

Ballbagisnotmyname · 30/08/2021 00:18

@Calmate keep yourself safe and focus on you! Enjoy the smugness if it helps - it’s definitely helping me!

OP posts:
Ballbagisnotmyname · 30/08/2021 00:22

Thanks all for your lovely responses ❤️❤️
I’m off to the hairdressers on Tuesday for a complete new look as the ex always liked my hair long and blonde! I’ve put all the jewellery he bought me together to donate to a local charity. I’m even considering throwing out all my clothes and go for a new look!

OP posts:
LadyLolaRuben · 30/08/2021 00:23

I remember the tell me a secret thread. Well done OP. I wonder if anyone else's secrets have progressed since...

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