Teenage daughter weight

[sprout2]

My daughter is 15 and has been steadily putting on more and more weight. She has seen Nutritionists and pediatricians. We try not to have junk in the house. We have talked to her...but she wont stop overeating. She has had anxiety issues, which seem to be getting better (has seen a councellor,) and I now try not to talk about her weight as she just gets upset... She is now in the obese category on the BMI scale.. I am at a loss.. she does not like exercise and she just refuses to be mindful of what she is eating. Every so often she says she is going to loose weight, but refuses to take a sensible approach. Everything you say, she knows better... I have tried to encourage her, because I am quite active myself, but she doesn't want to get involved. I would appreciate some advice. Thanks

I was a skinny child who suddenly started gaining weight aged about 11. My parents were hideous to me about it and it has caused lifelong issues with my self-confidence about my body.

Your DD probably understands what she needs to do to lose weight but her emotional state will inhibit her being able to do this. Ultimately, it’s up to her to reach a turning point where she thinks enough is enough, I need to lose weight for whatever reasons she feels is right.

In the meantime cook healthy family meals, clear the house of junk as even slim people don’t need it, encourage perhaps some physical activities which she might enjoy but don’t always feel like a hard slog I.e swimming, Zumba/dancing, cycling etc.

Above please don’t criticise her for her weight - my parents did this and I felt like absolute crap, and it didn’t actually help me.

Only have the food you need for meals on the house then she can't eat any of it. Get her to help with meal prep.

Exercise with her. Go for walks, cycles, dance in the kitchen whatever she likes.

I wouldn't mention it at all.
She will be very aware already.
I would just keep offering activities to get her busy, but not for exercise- just for fun.

How about an exercise bike or a step machine in front of the tv? That will burn off a fair bit if she does it long enough and may not impact on her day too much if she was going to be sitting in front of the tv anyway.

So those saying don't say anything due to daughters feelings - she is now obese! When should a parent step in then?

Obesity is as bad for your health as smoking so I wouldn’t not mention it in case of upsetting her. I would explain all of the health risks factually to her.
I would have no junk in the house at all and minimal snacking food. Try to get her moving as much as possible. Spend your weekends go on long country walks, swimming, ice skating, cycling, etc.

You said 'has seen a counsellor' - is she still seeing her?

She still has anxiety, emotional eating issues so needs to keep seeing her.

I wouldn't say anything to her about her weight, it's a symptom of unhappiness- it's the unhappiness you need to address. Weekly counselling, get her into clubs she'd like (not necessarily active ones, but arts/crafts/book club/jewellery making)

ANYTHING that increases her happiness level.

Read up on gut health. Give her kefir, yogurt, high fat dairy. Switch bread to sourdough. Lots of protein and fat, reduce empty carbs. Read the book "why we eat too much ". Fizzy drinks are really bad for making you eat more, fruit juice is better if she wants something sweet. It's not her fault.

My 14 yr old dd is the same. 5ft 11 but 15 stone now. She knows she's put loads of weight on, but we just don't mention it, instead offer healthy food options, less snacks and try to get her out and about with dh and I.
She does karate twice a week and we've had her to the doctors with breathlessness and dizziness. I suspect her weight and being out of condition as doc couldn't find anything wrong.
Having spent the best part of this lockdown sat on her bed facetiming friends, I'm hoping that having to walk to and from school, going up and down stairs rather than having to stay in one classroom all day and a return to pe lessons which have been stopped since last March, will make a difference.
Also she'll have less access to snacks at school.