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Original poster

Constantly feel bored and understimulated

22 replies

GoldenHours · 27/08/2021 19:17

I just have this feeling of boredom that feels almost suffocating. It feels like I'm constantly trying to chase it away with days out, shopping, social media and food. It's expensive and exhausting and never works. I just feel like nothing is ever enough or good enough and I'm constantly chasing the next 'high'. Or I will have a good day out (something intellectually-stimulating like visiting a museum or old castle or something awe-inspiring like a beautiful city or coastline) and then immediately feel really down and bored when I return to my normal daily life.

I start a new job soon so I'm hoping that will help. I just feel completely and utterly bored.

OP posts:

wizzywig · 27/08/2021 19:19

This is me. I hate it. Its like I need and crave a 'high'.

SoundBar · 27/08/2021 19:22

Do you have any hobbies? Can you take up a craft ?

2reefsin30knots · 27/08/2021 19:24

Sounds like you need a 'purpose'. What brings you a sense of meaning?

lightand · 27/08/2021 19:28

what is your new job?
Do you have family or other commitments?
Do you have money?

crochetandcoffeebreaks · 27/08/2021 19:30

Is there something you can add to the monotony of the daily life? I know the pandemic has really hit my mental health, as well as no longer working actively outside of the house after having DD at the start of last year. I have a job from home that is pretty mind numbing as well but brings income in at least. I'm at artsy kind of person so I spend some time during the day doing crochet projects - the finished product motivates me, and the process makes me feel less understimulated.

EileenGC · 27/08/2021 19:35

The new job should help. Do you like what I do? I adore my profession and feel intellectually stimulated 8-10 hours every day, so then I can ‘allow’ myself a couple of hours’ boredom on top of that.

Do you have hobbies or would like to take one up? Learning an instrument or a new language, that’ll easily occupy you for 1-2 hours each day if you want. I follow a pretty complex sport and there’s articles and forums to read every day, plus the actual competition weekends when it all gets mad and you have no time to even go to the loo in between sessions.

Do you like to travel and have the money for it? It’s amazing how long one can get lost in planning new trips and researching new cultures and countries to visit. I could be doing that all day every day and not be bored by it!

EileenGC · 27/08/2021 19:36

Do you like what I do?

Do you like what you do, that should read.

HumunaHey · 27/08/2021 19:36

Sounds like you need a hobby rather than these one off events.

I think hobbies provide more sustainable entertainment as it never really has to end.

AlbertBridge · 27/08/2021 19:52

Go on a phone detox. You've become addicted to dopamine.

2reefsin30knots · 27/08/2021 19:59

It might be worth looking at some of the Martin Seligman stuff on wellbeing. He has a framework called PERMAH- six areas you need to fulfil to have a strong sense of wellbeing.

Positive emotions (which you are currently focussing on ad hoc with days out etc)
Engagement
Relationships
Meaning
Achievement
Health (not always included in write-ups)

Sounds like you are missing on engagement and meaning to me.

positivepsychology.com/perma-model/

Original poster

GoldenHours · 27/08/2021 23:37

I don't really have any hobbies, no. I have a dog so take him for long walks daily but aside from that all of my interests are things I do sporadically (e.g. going to the theatre, visiting places of historical interest).

My new job is writing. It should be very interesting and keep my mind occupied so I'm hoping that will help. It should also give me meaning/a sense of purpose. However, it will largely be working from home and I worry that the boredom and loneliness of working from home will result in evenings eating unhealthy food as a 'reward'.

I have a good amount of disposable income but with that I find nothing is never enough as now I can afford to treat myself to things more regularly they aren't as special anymore, if you see what I mean.

Hmmm

OP posts:

minipie · 27/08/2021 23:40

I could have written this OP

I think this Go on a phone detox. You've become addicted to dopamine could well be true, for me anyway.

BertieBotts · 27/08/2021 23:43

If you've always felt like this and it isn't a temporary feeling, it could also be a sign of ADHD. That's when your brain underproduces dopamine so would look similar to a dopamine "addiction".

blueshoes · 28/08/2021 01:45

My ft job keeps me so busy and stimulated that I enjoy any downtime I get, even cleaning and tidying.

I somehow don't think writing whilst WFH would provide the same stimulus or structure but that is just me. Does it have deadlines, collaboration with others and sparking off ideas?

Invasionofthegutsnatchers · 28/08/2021 01:49

Exercise would help. Dancing, team sports, anything you like really that keeps your mind off other stuff.

Hawkins001 · 28/08/2021 01:55

I try to vary my activities , but at the same time, I try to make sure I'm productive with the activities, as I can easily burn time doing bits here and there, rather than focusing on one task at a time.

2reefsin30knots · 28/08/2021 08:25

It sounds like you take the role of an observer in your interests rather then being engaged in them. Could you do anything to support your theatre? They've been through bad times.

Could you volunteer at a historical site that interests you, or be one of the people that volunteers at archaeological digs?

Prokupatuscrakedatus · 28/08/2021 09:17

Do you have an ADD diagnosis?

Polkadots2021 · 28/08/2021 09:38

@GoldenHours

I start a new job soon so I'm hoping that will help. I just feel completely and utterly bored.

I hear you, lots of fitness types including me are like this. Its biological really, you need a lot of stimulation, a workout every day will get your neurotransmitters and hormones in a much better place, but also it's your brain telling you the social media etc doesn't cut it any more and you need to shift it all (living) into higher gear, because that's who you are, and that's how you're made....challenges, marathons, sail round the channel, whatever it is, get to doing it...it's your brain telling you you're capable of so so much more than modern life is telling you you should be happy with.

I've never used social media btw, I would feel the same way, it all sounds like a sugary treat that lasts for a few seconds then leaves you cold. Luckily I'm surrounded in my job with people who get it and feel the same, but I get that 'normal' life expects you to be happy with your lot as it is.

MrPickles73 · 28/08/2021 09:41

Sounds like you need a fullfilling job with interaction with colleagues.

Polkadots2021 · 28/08/2021 09:42

Also just noting lots of the do you have ADHD comments, not sure if lots of us in our job (gym/fitness) would be asked the same - but to my knowledge none of us do, but we are way more active than most people, very physically active, always looking for something to do or run or read or whatever, but honestly I think it's just what the human mind and body is made for. That's why exercise is so great for mental health. I just don't think modern life suits people as well as they think.

Prokupatuscrakedatus · 28/08/2021 10:22

I asked after ADD, because one of the effects of this special imblance in brain chemistry is that the 'rewarding high' NT people get from tasks finished, jobs (well) done etc. does not happen easily or not at all.
Not for me, not for DD or DS or DM.
And that may result in constant boredom and/or looking for 'highs'

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